Shadows from the Past
by CLK
Summary: With Mac’s help, Harm has to deal with something unexpected from his past. Started after season nine finale. Follows an AU from the season 10 path of the show
1. Chapters 1 thru 10

**Title: **Shadows From the Past 

**Background**: Started after season nine finale. Follows an AU from the season 10 path the show took.

**Summary: **With Mac's help, Harm has to deal with something unexpected from his past.

**Chapter 1**

**Mac's apartment **

**Late September 2004**

From the kitchen, Mac watched Harm intently. He'd come over for dinner and a movie, something he'd been doing more often of late. After what Harm had said at the admiral's dining out, Mac felt fairly sure he wanted to go through with their five-year-old baby deal. She was even more convinced after Harm was true to his word and followed through on his research about endometriosis. The only problem had been, at the time she wasn't sure she could do it. Never mind that physically her odds of conceiving were nearly impossible, her life had been an emotional roller coaster the last two years, and she wasn't sure she could deal with letting Harm into her world in 'that' way.

Tonight, being with Harm, eating, talking, watching a movie, it all felt 'right.' Lately, whenever he was near, she was overcome with the urge to touch him. It didn't matter if it was giving him a hug, holding his hand, or simply resting her hand on his shoulder. She needed to feel him, and that was starting to scare the hell out of her. It had taken months before the fear of what life had in store for her decreased enough for Mac to slowly let Harm back in. They had fallen into the comfortable safety of an old friendship, but now, now she wasn't sure of anything anymore, not even if he still wanted the deal. Maybe, once again, she'd waited too long and missed her opportunity.

The ding of the microwave brought her out of her reverie. She needed to stop over-thinking. It was time to take life one day at a time and see where it led her. Maybe her heart was trying to tell her she was ready, and her mind wouldn't listen. Emptying the contents of the bag into two bowls, Mac was surprised by the touch of Harm's hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." He reached around her for a handful of popcorn.

"No problem. I didn't hear you coming." She wasn't going to admit she was so lost in thoughts of him that she wouldn't have heard a roaring lion approach. Picking up the bowls, Mac turned to face Harm, grossly underestimating how closely he'd been standing behind her. When she practically whacked him in the side with one bowl, spilling the popcorn everywhere, she was overcome with awkwardness.

"Now, I'm the one who's sorry." Setting the one bowl she still held down on the counter, Mac tried to step sideways to get around him and clean up the mess she'd made.

"Hang on, marine. Are you okay?" Harm reached down and gently brushed the sides of her arms with his hands. "You seem unusually jumpy tonight." He couldn't remember the last time Mac seemed so on edge. Something was troubling her, and he wished she'd share it with him.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired." And wishing you'd stop being so nice, she thought to herself.

"Are you sure?" Harm placed his hand on her forehead.

"Harm! I'm not sick. For heaven's sake, you'd think you'd never seen someone preoccupied before." Mac pushed his hand away, only to surprise herself by keeping his hand in hers.

Harm stood perfectly still, quietly taking in the moment. He wasn't sure why Mac hadn't let go of his hand yet, but he was hoping that just maybe this meant she was finally looking at him in a new light.

Releasing her grip on his hand, she quietly said, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little distracted, too." Without thinking, Mac softly dropped her hand on Harm's chest. Most likely an instinctive reaction to the recent need to touch him. When she saw her hand lingering on his chest, she yanked it back as though it were on fire.

Stepping in closer, Harm dropped his hands on her shoulders. "Mac, something's not right. Why don't you tell me what it is?" Harm was really beginning to worry.

"I'm okay. Really. It's been a long day, in a long week, after a long year. Can we just leave it at that and move on?" Mac backed away from Harm and grabbed the other bowl of popcorn.

"Here, you take the popcorn, I'll clean this mess up, and if you're still up to watching the rest of the movie, I'll make some more," Mac smiled.

"If you're really okay, I think I'm going to head home. The kitchen pipes sprang a leak, and I had to crawl underneath to do a temporary repair job before coming over tonight. My back is getting too old for under the sink contortions. I'm really starting to feel it."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Here. Lie down." Taking the bowl from his hands and setting it on the counter, Mac shoved Harm to the center of the living room. This would be the perfect excuse to safely work off her need to touch him.

"Mac?"

"No, seriously. You were worried about me before. Now it's my turn. Let me try and help." Not willing to accept no for an answer, Mac walked off to her room in search of some lotion.

Harm was still standing where she'd left him, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"What are you doing still standing? Growing roots? Lie down and take off the shirt." Mac used her 'marine in charge' tone of voice.

Harm raised one eyebrow, the twinkle in his eyes shining brightly.

"Yes, ma'am." He saluted playfully before pulling his shirt over his head.

Moving a couple of chairs out of the way, Harm lay face down on the living room floor.

Bottle in hand, Mac kneeled down beside him as soon as he was settled. Warming the vanilla lotion in her hands first, slowly, Mac began smoothing her hands across Harm's shoulders and down his back.

Finding it awkward to work both sides of his back, Mac swung one leg over and straddled Harm's six.

"Oomph. Have you considered laying off the extra fries?" Harm opened one eye and turned his head trying to catch a glimpse of her.

"Funny. Just remember who's on top right now." Mac dug her hands firmly into his shoulder, kneading the knots at the base of his neck. Harm fell into a state of total relaxation before he'd even had time to consider responding to her 'on top' comment.

"Mmmmm," Harm sighed, "Thaaank youuu."

Swirling her thumbs firmly up along Harm's spine, she was feeling better already.

"If you ever give up the law, you could probably get a job as a masseuse." Harm would have smiled, but every muscle in his body was totally limp, well, almost every muscle.

"I'll keep that in mind." Grinning, Mac pressed more firmly into the small of his back, running her thumbs under the edge of the waistband of Harm's sweat pants. She had wondered why he showed up dressed so casually this evening. He probably had wanted to be comfortable after working out under the sink. It wasn't important, but she was having an awfully hard time resisting that waistband.

Instantly, Harm was reminded that not every muscle in his body was relaxing at her touch. Thankful to be lying on his stomach, he tried to focus on something other than how great her hands felt on his tired, old body.

"Have you spoken with Harriet lately? How's she feeling?" Talking about Bud and Harriet should be a good distraction, Harm thought.

"No."

So much for that idea. Next. Mac was still rubbing her fingers along his lower back, dipping in and out of his waistband. Coming up with any other subject for discussion was becoming increasingly difficult for him.

Mac knew she was lingering too much along his lower back. The temptation to dip under his sweats and really work on his cute six was taking over all focus. She actually had spoken with Harriet, but who wanted to talk about Harriet when that gorgeous six was only inches away from her starving fingers.

She was playing with fire and knew it. This was getting ridiculous. Patting his back softly, Mac suddenly sprang up and off of Harm, and sat heavily on the sofa. Things between them had become comfortable and stable. She wasn't going to ruin it by throwing herself at him again.

They'd agreed she'd come to him when she was ready, and even if maybe she thought she might be ready, she wasn't sure how Harm felt anymore. She thought she knew, but she wasn't sure. There was no way she was going to risk being rejected again. Webb going and coming in her life had added more stuff to her already overweight baggage. She wouldn't be able to deal with it now if it turned out she'd waited too long, and Harm had changed his mind and didn't want her in 'that' way.

Harm wasn't sure if he should feel relief or regret. For a while tonight, he was starting to wonder if maybe Mac was trying to tell him something. Taking a few deep breaths, he shifted his weight and sat up leaning against the sofa.

"That was the best back rub I've ever had. Thanks," he smiled up at her.

"Anytime, sailor."

"I might just take you up on that." Squeezing her knee tightly, he could tell by the look in her eyes something was still bothering her.

"Harm."

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel if I were to tell you I think I might be ready?"

"You think?" Harm reached up and took hold of her hand. Now he understood all the awkwardness. She was doubting his interest again.

"I have so many feelings still churning around inside of me that sometimes I can't even begin to decipher them all. Then I have to make myself stop and accept that I can't really wait forever. The endometriosis doesn't ever go away." The warmth from Harm's hand was giving her the courage to say what she felt. "I guess I'm afraid if I wait for everything to be perfect, I'll never stop waiting."

Harm moved up onto the sofa next to Mac. "I told you before, I'll always be here. Anytime you're ready, for whatever you want, you can count on me." Never having let go of her hand, Harm brought it close to his lips and placed a soft, tender kiss on it. He wanted desperately to kiss her lips but wasn't going to push.

"If I'm really ready, and it turns out to be sometime really soon, you're sure you'd trust me to be the mother of your child?"

"I'm really sure, and I'll wait as long as you need." Harm was still holding her hand, his thumb mindlessly caressing the back of her hand, silently reassuring her.

"Thanks. I guess I just needed to be reminded." Turning to face the TV, Mac snuggled into Harm's shoulder. Things were definitely feeling right.

**Chapter 2**

**JAG headquarters**

**Harm's office**

**1545**

"Sir, here are the rest of those reports Commander Turner wants you to review," Jen smiled knowing full well the entire legal staff had pretty much had enough of Sturgis Turner and his 'reviews'.

"Thank you, Jen." Harm tried to smile back. No point in shooting the messenger.

"There's also someone waiting to see you. He's been here since just after you went into court. He insisted on waiting, but wouldn't leave his name." Jen didn't know why, but something about this man left her feeling extremely uneasy.

"Very well. Give me five minutes to put away these papers, then send him in."

"Aye, sir." Nodding her head, Jen took note of the time on her watch before returning to the unexpected visitor.

Five minutes later a frail looking man, at least in his late sixties, knocked gently on Harm's door.

"Come in. How may I help you?" Harm stood up behind his desk, extending his hand to the stranger before waving for him to take a seat.

"Jordan said you were a nice man," the old man sighed.

"Excuse me?" Harm only knew one Jordan. The hairs on the back of his neck were starting to bristle.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I should introduce myself. I'm Raymond Parker. Jordan was my daughter." The elderly man focused intently on Harm's eyes in an attempt to determine for himself just what his daughter might have meant to him.

Taking a deep breath before speaking, "I see. How can I be of assistance?" Harm didn't know what else to say. It had been so long since Jordan's murder, 'sorry for your loss' just didn't seem to cut it right now.

"Well, Commander, we only had two children, my wife and I. Our son, Andrew, was the first. My wife and I had been married for almost ten years when he was born. We'd given up on having children. My wife was beyond elation when seven years later Jordan was born. Our children were everything to her." The man's eyes took on a heavy sadness.

"Andrew is divorced. His wife and he never had any children. He's a doctor like Jordan, thoracic surgeon. I guess like you, his career is his first love. Jordan often commented you reminded her of Andy. She said you had integrity, loyalty, and honor. Was she right, Commander?" The man was sizing Harm up again.

"I would like to think so, sir." Harm didn't have any idea what this man was after, but he owed it to Jordan to patiently hear him out.

"Did you know how much Jordie loved you?"

Harm had to pause at the question. He hadn't expected it.

"You probably know she broke up with me when I went back to flying. When I came home I tried calling her in hopes that we could try to make it work. I had thought we had something special. When I came back and she left right away for Spain, when she refused to stay and talk to me, that pretty much told me that I'd been wrong." Harm had to pause a minute, the memories being more difficult than he'd thought.

"I received a letter after she was killed. That's when I knew I had been right. We did have something special." Harm hoped that answered Mr. Parker's questions. He didn't really want to rehash his relationship with Jordan, especially not with her father.

"I'm glad to hear you think of your time with my daughter as special. She did love you, very much. She did a lot of things I didn't agree with. I wasn't happy with the way she handled her relationship with you, especially after you'd returned to flying, but I'm glad to see she was right in her judgment of you." For the first time, the man smiled sincerely.

"Thank you, sir." Harm didn't know what else to say.

"There were a lot of reasons she handled the situation the way she did. Obviously, you realized she was avoiding you."

Harm nodded.

"You undoubtedly don't know why." The man took a deep breath, making note of the apprehension in Harm's eyes.

"When you returned to flying, Jordan was pregnant."

Harm's jaw visibly hit the floor. Doing math in his head, he knew there was no way this was anyone else's child but his. He and Jordan had been dating since Christmas, and he didn't take off for flying until May. She obviously wasn't showing, so she was less than five months pregnant. Oh, God.

It didn't take a mind reader to see what was running through Harm's thoughts. "Yes, Commander. You're the father." The man felt sorry for Harm. He knew if Jordan's description of him was accurate, this would be a man who would deeply mourn the years not spend with his child.

"Why…" Harm couldn't formulate a coherent thought.

"She was hurt, confused, scared. I can't say I understand. My wife did. I fought often for them to tell you the truth. I thought you had a right to know. If you are like my son, I knew you'd want to know." He paused to give that information a moment to sink in.

"Jordan didn't answer any of your calls when you returned from flying because she was afraid you'd want to see her. She'd just had the baby. She wasn't due for another month and was still distraught over the fear we'd all gone through with the premature delivery. She was afraid she couldn't deal with seeing you, afraid you'd notice the changes in her figure. She finally found her nerve, but didn't stay long enough for you to recognize how upset she was, or how much weight she still carried. Navy blues are good for hiding that sort of thing."

Harm was trying to process the information he was being fed, but his mind was moving in painfully slow motion.

"My wife flew out here to help when the baby was born. Jordan was having a rough time of it. She'd never meant to raise a child alone, and she was terrified of letting you back in. She most of all didn't want you back in her life out of a sense of obligation, and she knew she'd never feel otherwise if you knew about the baby."

Raymond Parker watched closely as Harm rubbed his hands across his face and then back through his hair. The shock was wearing off, and the reality of what was being said was starting to settle in.

"Jordan saw her orders to Spain as a godsend. Jordan went on to Spain, and when the baby was strong enough, my wife brought it home with us. Most of the people she served with had no idea she had a baby now. When she returned, things were going well for her. We loved having a child in the house again, so it was decided to continue on the way things were."

"Why wasn't it in her records?"

"I don't understand?" Mr. Parker frowned.

"Her records, when she was killed, it didn't mention she had a child." Harm was starting to think like an investigator despite the haze that had settled over his brain.

"I'm sure it was there. She didn't hide it from the military. Since you knew she was single with no dependents, maybe you didn't see it because you weren't looking for it?"

"Maybe. But the letter, why didn't she say something in the letter?"

"Would you want to tell someone something like that in a letter?"

Harm shook his head, no. The man was right. Probably not.

"Jordan was moving on with her life. It had been almost two years since you'd left. It was time for you to know, and she was reaching out to you. If she hadn't been killed, she would have told you."

"Her letter said nothing to even hint we had a child. It was a letter of closure, a goodbye of sorts." Harm didn't realize he was sitting there shaking his head.

"For her, yes. She was closing that part of her life. Saying good bye to you in her future and preparing you to meet face to face, so you could be a part of Chris' future."

"Chris?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry, I should have started out with that. You have a daughter, Christine Elizabeth."

**Chapter 3**

**Harm's office**

**Same time**

Harm watched the old man fumble in his pocket. Pulling out a tattered, black wallet, he reached inside and carefully handed Harm a small photograph.

"That was just taken at preschool."

Harm stared intently at the photo. The little girl had shoulder length, light brown hair with a huge, blue bow on one side. Her eyes were a deep green like his, and her broad smile looked more like she was gritting her teeth.

"She has your smile. I know you can't tell from the photo. Somehow she's gotten it in her mind when someone says smile, it means flash all your teeth," the man chuckled to himself. "When her smile is genuine, it's very much like the one that just spread across your face looking at that photo." Ray Parker was pleased with Harm's reaction. He was sure now he'd been right in coming to tell him. Harm would be good for Chris.

"Why now? Why come and tell me now?" Harm handed the photo back to Jordan's father.

"No, keep it." Taking a deep breath, "My wife passed away a few weeks ago. Aortic aneurysm. We didn't see it coming. A little ironic considering her son's a thoracic surgeon. Anyhow, when Jordie was killed, I wanted to tell you about Chris. My wife stopped me. She insisted that if Jordie wanted you to know she would have told you and we should respect her wishes. My wife adored that little girl. I think she was more terrified of losing her than anything else." He blinked back a few tears.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Despite all he'd heard, Harm liked this man. He really was sorry the man had lost his wife, even if she was the reason he didn't know about his daughter sooner. "Where is she now?"

"With my sister Shelly, in Potomac. As soon as I could after Sally, my wife, passed on, I packed Chris up and came to visit my sister. Finding you was easier than I had thought. I was pleased to see you were still here at JAG. I also see that Major Mackenzie is still here, she's been promoted, too."

"Yes, she's still here, too." Harm was startled that Mr. Parker would know about Mac.

"Jordie thought that she would someday come between you two, even though the Major assured her your relationship wasn't like that. You two aren't together that way are you?"

"No. She's my best friend."

Raymond Parker nodded his head. Anyone could have seen the change in Harm's eyes when Mac's name was mentioned. Jordie could read people. It was her job, and she was good at it. Something was keeping these two apart.

"I'd like to meet her someday. Jordie spoke highly of her. Even though you're not married, I assume the Major, excuse me, Colonel, will be a big part of Chris' life?"

Harm was stunned. It suddenly hit him that this man not only wanted Harm to know he had a daughter, but he intended for Harm to take care of her.

"Commander?" Ray had watched Harm's face run through a large array of emotions, but the look of sheer panic on his face right now seemed out of character for the little he knew about the man.

"Sorry. I, uh,… it's just a lot to take in," Harm excused.

"I thought if maybe you were free tonight, you could come to my sister's for a short while and meet Chris?"

"I'd like that. Thank you." A wave of panic was setting in again. "Could I bring Colonel MacKenzie with me?" he added quickly.

"Certainly," Ray smiled. Jordie was right. "Chris goes to bed at 8:30. We eat early. I know traffic here is a bear. Anytime you can make it will be fine." He handed Harm a card with the address and phone number on it.

"Thank you, Mr. Parker," Harm smiled nervously.

"You're welcome, and call me Ray. I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of each other for a while." He had done the right thing. He was sure of it.

Mac's office

1640

Harm tapped lightly on Mac's doorframe.

"You look like something the cat dragged in. Bad day in court?" Mac put down her pen and sat back watching Harm take a seat across from her.

"No, I think the jury bought it. Closing arguments are tomorrow morning." Harm was having a hard time looking Mac in the eye. It didn't make sense. Somehow he felt like having a child with Jordan was tantamount to having cheated on Mac, cheated on their deal.

"Are you okay?" Mac's face crumpled in obvious concern.

"Yes, no, Mac… I got some surprising news today. I need to talk to you, but not here. It's almost quitting time, can you bail out now?"

Mac had planned on staying late to tie up some loose ends on the never ending trail of reports Sturgis wanted, but there was no way she would say no to Harm. She couldn't remember the last time he appeared so frazzled.

"Sure, let me tidy all this up and I'll be ready to go in a couple of minutes."

"Thanks, marine." Harm let out a heavy sigh and left to clear up his own mess for the day. Sturgis was just going to have to wait for that new stack of reviews.

Ten minutes later the two friends were quietly riding the elevator.

"Do you want to meet me at my place or do you want me to follow you to yours?" Mac asked carefully.

"Do you mind if we ride together and pick up your car later?" Harm asked as the elevator doors opened. "You do still have civvies in your sea bag?"

"No, I don't mind, and yes I keep civvies in my sea bag. What's up, Harm?"

"Let's head to my place so you can change and I can feed you. I'll explain it on the way."

Mac's mind scrambled to think what could be so serious to have Harm acting so bizarrely. She couldn't ever remember a time when Harm wouldn't tell her something at work. It may have been kept to a minimum, but he'd never put her through this cloak and dagger before.

Settled and on the road, Harm searched for a way to explain this.

"I got a visit today from Jordan Parker's father. It seems he's here with his granddaughter visiting his sister." He glanced at Mac, so far she seemed unfazed.

"Apparently, none of us in the military knew Jordan had a daughter being raised by her mom and dad." Still no reaction from Mac.

"Mr. Parker thought I might like to go and meet her. I don't want to go alone. I'd hoped you'd please come with me." Again, he tore his eyes away from the traffic to look in Mac's direction.

"Sure, you know I have a soft spot for girls." Mac was making every effort to stay calm, waiting for the other shoe to fall. There was no logical reason for Jordan's father to show up and invite Harm to meet a daughter no one knew Jordan even had, unless she was born after they'd met and guess who was the father. Lord, she'd like to be wrong. Things were going so well. They were so close to trying for that child together she'd always dreamed of.

"There's more isn't there?" She had to let him off the hook. She could tell he was sweating how to tell her, even though she prayed she was wrong.

Harm swallowed hard. This time he was afraid to look at Mac. "Ray says I'm her father."

**Chapter 4**

**Harm's car**

**In route to Union Station**

She knew it. When was life going to cut her a break? Everything that ever meant even a little to her was always taken away. She was so close to getting what she wanted. She was ready, Harm was ready, or at least she thought they were, and now, this.

Harm noticed Mac's entire body stiffen. Her silence spoke a thousand words. What the hell was he supposed to say now?

"Are you still with me, marine?"

"Are you sure you want me to come? I wouldn't want to get in the way." Mac was looking out the side window. She didn't want Harm to see the tears threatening to stream down her face any second now.

Harm reached over to take hold of her hand, startled by how icy cold it was.

"Mac, I need my best friend badly. I'm scared. VERY scared." Harm figured this was no time to play brave, macho, fighter pilot. What did he know about little girls? Granted he'd gotten better at playing Dad thanks to Mattie, but still, this wasn't a teenager. This was a little person with plenty of years ahead of her that he could easily screw up with all his personal baggage.

Wiping at her watery eyes with her free hand so Harm wouldn't see, Mac squeezed his hand and turned to look at him. "You've got nothing to be scared of. You're a great Dad. Mattie is walking proof of that." She tried to encourage him with a smile.

"Yeah, well, I pretty much got Mattie that way already. All I had to do was keep her on the same path."

Harm let go of Mac's hand to park in front of his building.

"What exactly did Jordan's Dad say?" Mac asked, getting out of the car.

"He explained why no one ever told me. He said Jordan had decided to tell me a couple of years ago. That's why she tried to establish contact before she was killed." Harm pulled Mac's sea bag out of his car, and headed into the building.

"Do you think he's telling the truth?" Mac had to ask. There was always the possibility it wasn't really Harm's child. Although Mattie was proof a child didn't have to be his by blood for him to love and care for her.

"I haven't really given it any thought. He said Jordan was about eight months pregnant and went into early labor right about when I came back from my stint on the Henry. If that's true- I doubt she belongs to anyone else. Jordan was many things, but she wasn't easy. She wouldn't have dated me and slept with someone else at the same time." Harm turned the key in his lock, forcefully shoving the front door open.

"Where is Mattie?" Mac asked, watching Harm carry her bag to his bed.

"She's got some stuff after school, and then her dad is picking her up for the weekend." Harm walked back into the living room and straight to where Mac was standing.

"Thank you." Putting his hands on either side of Mac, he gently rubbed her upper arms. "I don't think I could face this alone."

"You're never alone, never." Mac patted his hand briefly with hers and headed to his room to change clothes.

What a difference a year could make in one little word. 'Never' a year ago had broken his heart into a million pieces. Today, 'never' gave him the courage to deal with this situation head on.

**Stevens' Residence**

**Potomac Maryland**

Harm offered Mac his hand to help her out of the car. Once she was out, he didn't let go. She squeezed his hand in an effort to reassure him, walking hand in hand to the front door. Not until they were inside did he let go of her.

Raymond Parker opened the door. "Come in, Commander. Colonel, nice to meet you."

Casual introductions were made. Shelly and Fred Stevens seemed to be very nice people. They all took seats in the living room. Mac chatted cordially with Mrs. Stevens about the lovely decorations. She collected antique Amish quilts. Some were displayed prominently on the walls. Others were scattered about the room. The men watched the women chatting, while Mr. Stevens took everyone's drink orders.

It wasn't long before Chris came scurrying down the stairs. "Is the company here yet?" She smiled up at her Grandpa.

"Yes, sweetie. These are the nice friends of your Mama I told you about."

Ray walked Chris over to where Harm and Mac were seated. The little girl appeared slightly timid, as any four-year-old would be, yet, her excitement at meeting the new people was clear.

"Hello." She smiled first at Mac.

"Nice to meet you," Mac nodded. The little girl was beautiful. Not much different than she'd pictured her daughter, if she and Harm had ever had one.

Turning to Harm, Chris' eyes lit up.

"You're Mommy's friend," she said excitedly. "Grandma and Grandpa have a picture of you and Mommy in my room." Her smile was threatening to split her face wide open.

Harm reached into his pocket. "Your Grandpa gave me a picture of you, too," he smiled back.

The little girl pushed her way between Harm's legs to get a better look at the picture he was holding. Her one hand rested on his thigh, the other touched his hand holding the photo.

Mac couldn't help but smile at the look on Harm's face when the little girl scooted close to him. He'd gently rested his free hand on her back, and the look of pride and love that oozed from him gave no indication that he'd only just met this child.

"That was at school. I like Miss Robbins. She's a nice teacher." The little girl looked up at Harm, still smiling.

"She is?" He had no idea what else to say. How do you carry on a conversation with a four-year-old?

"Uh huh," she nodded forcefully.

Sensing his need to be rescued, Mac joined the conversation. " How old are you?"

"I'm four." Chris proudly held up four fingers.

"REALLY." Mac exaggerated her expression. "Wow, what a big girl. When is your birthday?"

"November five." Chris leaned back resting on Harm's leg.

"November fifth," her grandfather corrected.

"Then you're going to be a big girl of five soon," Mac continued.

"That's what Grandma used to say all the time." The little girl looked down sadly for a second before smiling back up at Mac. "But Grandpa says now Grandma is very happy cause she and Mommy are together."

Harm watched closely as Mac and Chris carried on a conversation. He was completely awed at the idea that this smart little girl was his. He was even more delighted that she seemed to be taken with Mac. The two were getting along beautifully. He'd always known that Mac would be a great mom. She'd shown it with Chloe, and again helping with Mattie, but now with Chris he just knew he'd always been right. It made him want a baby of their own even more than before.

A sick feeling suddenly loomed inside him. If Chris was now going to be a part of his life, how would that affect his relationship with Mac, and more importantly, how would it affect their deal?

**Chapter 5**

**Stevens' Home**

**2005 hours**

Chris had gone upstairs a short while earlier. The adults had been chatting about her, Jordan, and Jordan's mom, Sally.

"Isn't it close to Chris' bedtime?" Harm asked.

"I suspect she's already gone to bed," Ray commented.

"Excuse me?" Mac asked, a little surprised.

"She's been known to wander off and lie down when she gets tired. I was just going to go check on her. Would you two like to come with me?" Ray asked.

Harm hesitated and looked over at Mac.

"We'd love to. Thank you," Mac answered for both of them.

Following Ray upstairs, Harm and Mac paused at the doorway looking at the cute little girl. Chris had fallen asleep still fully dressed. She was absolutely adorable, sleeping with one leg on the bed, and one leg off the side of the bed resting on the floor.

Ray pushed the little girl fully onto the bed, and pulled the blanket over her.

"My wife is the only one who could change her into her pajamas without waking her up. We don't know why, but she will undoubtedly wake up with that one leg hanging over the bed again," he chuckled walking away from them.

Harm sighed heavily looking back into the room. Closing his eyes for just a second, he wondered what was going to happen to them.

Mac reached over placing her hand on his back. "It'll be okay, Harm." She didn't know what else to say. Before she knew how, Harm had turned around and pulled her into a tight hug, nuzzling his face in her hair. He desperately needed her, now. Giving her space wasn't an option.

Mac stood perfectly still. Her arms gently draped around Harm's waist. Her heart racing as Harm's lips gently caressed her hair.

"Please don't leave me? I can't do this alone," Harm mumbled into her hair, pulling her even closer against him. His voice filled with desperation.

"I'm not going anywhere, Harm. I told you you'll never be alone." This was the second time Harm mentioned not wanting to be alone. Why couldn't he have come to her saying that years ago? Mac tried to pull away and look at him, but Harm wouldn't release his hold. She was sure he could feel her heart pounding through her chest.

"Promise me, Mac," he whispered, his lips dangerously close to her face.

"I promise," Mac sighed.

Pulling back from her just a little, Harm looked down into her eyes. Neither said a word. Harm took hold of Mac's hand and followed down the hall where Ray had gone.

The adults where chatting away when Harm and Mac returned to the living room.

"Well, Commander, what do you think?"

"I think you and your wife should be commended for raising such a friendly, nice little girl. I also think you should call me Harm."

"Well, Harm, I'd love to take the credit, but I'm afraid she pretty much came out that way. She's more or less raised herself since the day she was born," Ray smiled proudly.

"Jordan was a good girl. She was easy to raise also, but I'm guessing you can take some genetic credit. She's a smart little thing." Everyone in the room nodded in agreement with Ray Parker.

"Thank you, but I suspect my mother would beg to differ with you. I believe of all the adjectives she had for me growing up, easy to raise doesn't come to mind." Harm chuckled, feeling at ease for the first time all evening.

"It's going to be hard for me to give her up, but her place is with you now. You're going to have to get to know her better. She loves the zoo. What are you doing tomorrow?"

**Harm's apartment**

**Near Union Station**

**2210 hours**

Harm and Mac had ridden back to Harm's in almost total silence. Driving mostly on auto-pilot, Harm hadn't given any thought to where he was going. When he reached his apartment and looked at Mac, it suddenly dawned on him they'd left her car at Ops.

"Oh, Mac. Your car, I forgot." Harm turned off the engine and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry."

"No problem. We can get it later." Mac turned to get out of the car when Harm reached across and grabbed her arm.

"Thanks."

Mac nodded her head before exiting the car and making their way up to his apartment.

Hanging his keys on the hook by the door, Harm headed straight for the fridge. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Water will be fine."

Grabbing two bottles of water, he joined Mac on the sofa.

"What am I going to do, Mac?"

"You're going to get a good night's sleep, get up bright and early, and take a cute little four year old and her grandfather to the zoo. You'll ooh, and aah over gorillas and pandas, and laugh your heart out watching her take it all in."

"Maac. You know I don't mean just tomorrow." His eyebrows shot up in a flash. "You ARE coming with me, aren't you?"

"If I'm invited," Mac grinned. Maybe a little playfulness would help calm him down.

"Mac, are we ever going to get passed the formalities? We've been talking about having a child together. Doesn't that mean anything?" Harm was scared, and frustrated, and not really thinking before opening his mouth.

"Okay, clue me in. What does your agreeing to father my child have to do with your already being a father, and having a daughter to take to the zoo tomorrow?" Mac tried not to bark, she knew he was upset, but damn, what was she supposed to think anyway?

"Is that all I'm going to be? A sperm donor. Is that it, fathering a child? Damn it, Mac," Harm bit his lip. Why was it always so hard?

"What does ANY of this have to do with tomorrow? Harm, you're a father! A real father! You don't need me anymore. You've got what you wanted." Mac refused to cry. She was not going to cry.

"What? Not need you! For God's sake Mac, you're all I've ever needed." Without giving it another thought, Harm reached over and pulled Mac up against him hard. Her face was up close to his, his hands tightly gripping her arms. His mouth came crashing down on hers. His lips pressing against hers, his tongue immediately caressing her lips, requesting entrance. His mind flashed to lingering memories of a kiss so many years ago.

Startled by the force of his actions, Mac tried to pull away despite the longing quickly boiling within her. His lips teased hers. His tongue pleaded with the seam along her lips. Instinctively her lips wanted to part, to taste him, to tangle with him, to share the heat that had been simmering between them for so long. But not like this, not a comfort for desperation and fear. She pulled back again.

Feeling her struggle in his arms, Harm pulled back a few inches. "Please Mac, let me show you, let me prove how much I need you, want you. Please..."

His lips descended on hers once again. His arms dropped around her pulling her closer. His tongue teased, licked, and nipped at the seam of her lips, begging entrance yet again. His heart was racing, his blood pounding in his veins. Everything about her was so arousing. Just kissing her was driving him wild.

God, no one was made with enough willpower to resist Harmon Rabb twice in one night. His lips were so gentle against hers, his kiss so sweet. She didn't want to be comfort sex. She wanted to be loved. His fingers burned a trail across her back. Desire was spreading through her veins. He didn't say love, he said want and need. Oh, that tongue! So hard, so soft, so tantalizing. Her lips parted with a will of their own. How did the old song go; two out of three ain't bad.

NO. Her mind snapped. Not now, not like this. She pressed her hands against his chest, her lips barely separated from his. "Harm, please...no."

**Chapter 6 **

**Harm's apartment**

**Near Union Station**

**Same time**

Harm's mouth dropped to Mac's neck. Savoring the soft feel of her skin under his lips, one hand brushed up her side, his thumb gently swiping the side of her breast. The other arm pulled her close again. Somewhere in his mind he heard her say no, but he had to show her. He loved her so much. Maybe now she'd see.

Every nerve ending was calling out for Harmon Rabb. Maybe two out of three wasn't so bad. This was what she wanted. She could still have his baby. His baby, Chris. Damn it. "Harm, stop. Please," Mac whispered in his ear. "Please?"

Harm froze. Dear Lord, she'd said no, his brain was finally processing. She'd said no, and he kept pushing. What the hell had come over him? He'd never in his life tried to force himself on anyone. Why, oh, why did he lose it with Mac?

Feeling his grip on her loosen, Mac's determination morphed to concern when she saw the look in his eyes. "Harm?"

"I'm sorry, Mac." Harm turned away, he couldn't look her in the eye. "I, uh... I don't know what to say. I shouldn't have lost control like that." Staring down at the ground, he ran his fingers roughly through his hair. She had felt so warm and willing in his arms. He'd felt what her body was telling him and couldn't hear what she was trying to say.

Mac was at a loss for words herself. She wanted Harm as badly as he wanted her. Maybe she shouldn't have stopped him, but she couldn't live with herself if Harm woke up in the morning regretting what they'd done. She'd waited too long. She couldn't face that.

"You were upset. It's not every day you find out you have a four year old daughter you knew nothing about," Mac justified for him. Stepping closer, she reached out and rested her hand gently on his arm. Her eyes waiting for him to look up, hoping he could see how hard it had been for her, too.

"No, I can't argue with you there." Harm turned to look at Mac, pondering the softness in her brown eyes. He'd expected to see anger, resentment, anything but the tenderness that tore straight to his soul. Could it be he hadn't ruined everything? "Will you still come with us tomorrow? Please?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. It was obvious neither of them was about to discuss what just happened any further. An unspoken understanding of sorts had been reached.

"If I promise to be a good boy and behave myself, would you consider just staying here and keeping me company tonight?" Harm's eyes searched hers, desperately praying she still trusted him.

"You'll have to take me to my place first thing in the morning for clean clothes." Smiling softly, without any hesitation, Mac stood up and headed for the bedroom. "Got a spare t-shirt I can borrow?" She would always trust this man with her life, just not her heart...yet.

**DC Zoo **

**1215 hours**

"Grandpa, my bow fell off!" Chris ran up to Harm and Mac. "Where's Grandpa?"

"He went to the men's room, Sweetie." Mac bent down to the same level as the little girl. "Would you like me to put it back on?"

"Thank you!" The little girl beamed, dropping the bow in Mac's hands.

A few seconds later, the bow was firmly in place, and Chris was running back to play with the baby pigs.

"She's loved pigs for as long as I can remember," Ray said walking towards them from the restrooms.

Mac was right. Harm had oohed and ahhed and laughed and grinned so much watching Chris with the animals, he thought his face was going to crack. They'd already been through most of the zoo and were getting pretty tired, but Chris' energy seemed endless.

"I think I understand now why people always say they'd be rich if they could bottle their children's energy. Shouldn't she be tired?" Harm chuckled quietly in Ray's direction.

"She'll wear out eventually," Ray smiled.

"Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me, it's time for me to find the little girls room."

"If you don't mind, would you take Chris with you? It's probably about time she went, too," Ray suggested.

"Of course not," Mac shrugged one shoulder casually.

"Chris honey, Colonel MacKenzie is going potty. Go with her."

"Okay." Chris stuck her hand out for Mac to grab.

Mac felt as though Chris' little hand had reached in and squeezed her heart. Was this what it would be like to have Harm's daughter? She smiled that Rabb smile and melted your heart.

Harm watched what were quickly becoming the two most important women in his life walk off.

"What do you do when you're alone and she has to use the restroom?" Harm asked, his eyes never leaving the pair walking away.

"I don't know. I've never had to go anywhere alone with her, yet. She did have to go on the airplane, and I waited outside the door for her. Before, it was always my wife who went with her to the ladies room." Ray shrugged. Like Harm, his eyes followed Mac and Chris down the path.

Hair barrettes. Public bathrooms. How many things were there going to be in a little girl's life that Harm knew nothing about? He wasn't the only single father in the world, but why did it all look so horribly impossible?

A short while later they were standing by the gorilla pit.

"Grandpa, I can't see."

"Would you like to get on my shoulders?" Harm squated low to Chris' height.

"CAN I?" Chris almost shrieked with excitement.

Harm couldn't help but chuckle as he reached over and picked the little girl up over his head.

"Wow, you're higher than Uncle Andy. He used to pick me up sometimes, but he says I'm getting too big." Her eyes sparkled following the gorilla's movements over the crowd.

Ray just stepped back a moment and watched the two interact, delighted when he saw Harm reach over and take Mac's hand in his. Anyone looking would have thought they were a family. Chris looked so much like her dad that no one would have noticed Mac wasn't her mom.

**Harm's car**

**In route to Steven's home**

**1630**

"Are we going to do something tomorrow, too?" Chris was staring directly at Harm.

"Do you want to?" Harm could barely contain the delight bursting inside him. He'd had a lot more fun today than he'd expected. They'd spent the rest of the afternoon with Chris on his shoulders and Mac at his side. He wondered briefly, if Mac's condition never allowed her to conceive, if she might be willing to share Chris?

"Can WE?" This time she turned to Mac sitting beside to her, then her grandfather in the front passenger seat.

"If the Commander has time, he and the Colonel have busy schedules."

"Oh." Chris tried not to look too disappointed.

"Do you like airplanes? We could go to the Air and Space museum." Harm wanted to touch her some how and reassure her, make her smile, but even if he could reach her in the backseat, he just didn't know how.

"Really?" Her eyes lit back up again.

"Really." Harm smiled back, keeping a constant eye on her through the rearview mirror. He was already startled to discover how his heart swelled making that little girl happy.

"You're coming too?" She reached over to touch Mac's lap.

"Wouldn't miss it." Mac took Chris' hand in hers. That small Rabb smile was infectious. She couldn't help grinning back at the little girl.

"But, you'll have to go to bed early and get a lot of rest," Ray added.

"Yes, sir." Her little hand made its way up for her version of a salute. Her other hand still holding on tightly to Mac's.

Harm and Mac glanced fleetingly at each other. Her mother had been in the Navy so it shouldn't be that unusual, although, she was only two when her mom died, and they'd never actually lived together.

Ray chuckled at their obvious surprise. Maybe the Navy was genetic.

**Chapter 7 **

**Mac's apartment**

**Georgetown**

"That was a lot more fun than I thought it would be." Harm smiled, flopping down on Mac's couch.

"She's a great kid, Harm. Four year olds can be a real handful. She seems really sweet." Mac debated whether to go sit by Harm or go to the kitchen for something to drink.

"She is, isn't she?" Harm had his eyes closed and didn't notice Mac standing aimlessly in the middle of the room.

"Want something to drink?" she finally asked.

"Nah, I'm just going to rest my eyes for a minute." He hadn't anticipated how exhausting a day playing Daddy could be. Now there was an interesting thought. Daddy.

By the time Mac came back with a couple of bottles of juice and some glasses, Harm was snoring peacefully on her sofa.

The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum was an interesting place for all ages. They had WWII airplanes that you could walk through as well as models of everything, including a Stearman hanging from the rafters. Wandering through the exhibit of the Apollo missions was always interesting if you enjoyed modern history.

"This is from Grandpa's favorite movie." Chris pointed with her now regular exuberance at the Apollo Space exhibits.

"Grandpa loves Apollo 13. He says Tom Hanks is the best actor since Gregory Peck." In the blink of an eye, Chris took off running at full gallop for a closer look at the display.

"Are you supposed to know what Apollo 13 was at age four?" Harm looked down at Mac, obviously impressed by the scope of knowledge his daughter had.

Mac shrugged one shoulder. "How should I know?"

Turning his head back towards the display, "Mac, where'd she go? Can you see her?" A small hint of panic was audible to Mac's trained ear.

"ME! You're a head taller than I am. Can't you see over the crowd?" Mac immediately increased the pace of her stride, moving in the same direction Chris had run.

"Damn it! Where could she be? CHRIS…. CHRIS…" Harm managed to reach the Replica Apollo 8 space capsule, practically vaulting over Mac.

"I don't see her, Harm. Do you?"

"No! CHHRRIIIIIISSS." Panic had definitely settled in.

"I'm going to find security. I'm sure people lose little kids in here all the time." Mac turned around and rushed off without waiting for Harm to respond.

"DADDY, DADDY. HELP!"

Harm turned to the sound just in time to see two large men in gray suits and sunglasses, rushing out the double doors at the front of the building carrying a struggling Chris between them.

"STOP. CHRIS!" Harm bolted over the people around him. "STOP. CHRIS!" His heart was caught in his throat. His first time alone with her and God knows who had stolen his baby.

"STOP ! STOP!"

"Harm! Harm!" Mac shouted, her heart rate increasing by the second. "HARM!" She shook him roughly.

Harm shot up on the sofa. "Did you get her?" His heart was pounding through his chest, his shirt drenched with sweat.

"Get who? Are you okay? You had me scared. You were screaming so loudly, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the neighbors called 911." Mac wasn't going to mention the pounding rush of adrenaline that threatened to overtake her as memories of Clay's screams in Paraguay came flashing through her mind.

"Chris, they took her. Two men in suits." Harm paused to look around the room, then back at Mac's terrified face.

"Chris is home with her grandfather. You were having a nightmare, Harm. From the looks of it, a lulu." Mac took a deep breath. Her own heart was still racing.

"It was so real. We were at the museum, and I lost her." Harm was breathing heavily, his chest heaving in and out as he took a deep breath attempting to slow his pounding heart.

Dropping his face in his hands, Mac moved up closer and began gently stroking his back.

"It's only a dream. It'll be okay." Mac tried to console him. She suspected it was a lot more than just the dream that had him so distraught. He felt his life was out of his control. His instincts told him, you lose control and you die. She didn't know what to say besides everything would be okay.

Having taken a few sips of juice, and a lot of deep breaths, with the help of Mac's tender touch, he had calmed down considerably.

"Mac, what am I going to do? I am woefully unprepared to parent a four year old little girl." Harm rubbed his hand down his face in obvious frustration.

"No one feels competent to parent any child. You'll learn as you go, just like every other normal parent. You had no idea how to deal with a teenager, and yet, you've done a wonderful job with Mattie. You have great paternal instincts, Harmon Rabb. Don't sell yourself short." Without realizing it Mac's tone of voice had taken on that same tone she'd use when delivering a particularly impassioned closing argument.

Harm tilted his head, his eyes focused on Mac, his thoughts lost on how she was even more beautiful when she was all fired up about something.

"You must realize I would never have agreed to share a child with just anyone. I had to know eventually our child would turn four, and yet, I didn't say no," Mac teased, growing increasingly unsteady in Harm's silence. "Harm, say something," she coaxed.

Harm was at a complete loss for words. She was so damn beautiful. He wanted this to be their child. He didn't want to think of Jordan as Chris' mom, he wanted Mac to be the only mother of all his children. ALL, not just the elusive one they keep putting off until the right time.

"Do you have any idea yet when you'll be ready?" His voice came out very calmly and quietly.

"What?"

"You asked me to wait for you to come to me. You said you'd come when you were ready. The other night you said you 'thought' you 'might' be ready. I'm wondering if you know yet when you'll be ready for sure?"

"I thought we were talking about you and Chris." Mac was stalling. This was not the time to mention she was ready.

"We were. We are, but I don't want to lose you along the way. I want to make sure you understand this doesn't change anything as far as I'm concerned. I still want to go halves on a baby with you." Harm waited nervously for her response.

"I, I don't think that would be very fair to you in light of the current circumstances." Mac had to look down. She didn't want her eyes to betray how she really felt.

Harm reached over and picked up Mac's chin, turning her to face him. Scooting closer, so his face was only inches away from hers, "I don't care how unsure I am about a future with Chris. I am very sure that I will do anything and everything to keep you in my life. I'll wait as long as I have to. Don't let there be any misunderstandings. I'm waiting for you and no one else."

Slowly, Harm closed the distance between them. His lips carefully touched hers. A barely there kiss, sealing a promise made long ago.

**Chapter 8**

**Next day**

The day at the museum had gone much better than in Harm's nightmare. Chris studiously took in all the different displays. When Harm explained he had a plane similar to the Stearman on display, Chris began asking an avalanche of questions that never stopped the rest of the day. She wanted to know everything from: Why you don't fall out of the plane if it doesn't have a top, and why would you want to walk on the moon, to what is World War II, and why don't the planes fall out of the sky?

Ray managed to show a little more discretion than Mac, biting his lip to suppress his laughter. Mac on the other hand, giggled and chuckled out loud at some of the expressions on Harm's face, and other times at his answers. When he began reciting his academy aerodynamics class, Ray thought Mac was going to double over in laughter. "Don't laugh too hard. She'll probably explain it to you, verbatim, on the way home, and not miss a step," he whispered into Mac's ear, very proud of his granddaughter. She was a very smart little girl.

**1730 hours**

**Macdonald's Restaurant**

Chris had finished her happy meal and was now bouncing gleefully in the ball cage.

"I had hoped we'd have an opportunity to chat somewhat in private." Ray set his coffee cup down on the table, his expression changing from one of a delighted grandfather to that of a very pensive person.

"I think I'll go keep a closer watch on Chris." Mac stood up without hesitation.

"No, Mac. Stay, please." Harm hurriedly placed his hand on hers, momentarily confused by the sly grin that spread briefly across Ray's face.

Mac took her time evaluating the situation. This was, technically, not something she needed to be involved in, and yet, Harm's eyes were definitely pleading with her not to leave. Turning her head slightly, her eyes silently asked if he was sure. Accepting his gentle nod, Mac retook her seat at the table.

Ray had taken in the entire scene with a tremendous amount of satisfaction. When he first discovered that Harm and the Colonel had never married as Jordan had expected they would, he feared there might not be a mother figure for his precious granddaughter. He was delighted to see Jordan had not been wrong in her evaluation of this man or his relationships. He was obviously a good man. So far, he showed all the right instincts to be a good father, and Ray suspected that some day very soon, Harmon Rabb would be a very good husband to one Sarah MacKenzie.

"Now that you've had some time to spend with Chris, I think there are a few things we need to discuss. I've always known the time would be coming soon when we would have to tell you about her. My wife and I were in good health, but no one would have considered us spring chickens. I'm going to be 75 on my next birthday. Chris deserves to have parents young enough to keep up with her." Ray noticed Harm reach across, under the table, and take hold of Mac's hand.

"When you're ready, I would like for Chris to go and live with you."

Harm's stomach began doing flip-flops. He was torn between the elation of having a child of his own, and the absolute terror of having a child of his own.

"I suspect you are too much of a gentleman to request this, so I am going to propose the topic," the older man continued. "I think we should have DNA testing done to assure everyone involved of your paternity." Ray sat back slightly, waiting for Harm's reaction.

After a long moment of silence, Harm finally found his voice. "I don't think that will be necessary." He'd seen himself in Chris every time she smiled.

"I do," Ray said adamantly. "Not that I have any doubt you're her father, but it's best for everyone's peace of mind down the road if we prove it now."

"I suppose you're right." The lawyer in him knew it was the best way to proceed. The man in him was still overwhelmed. "We could probably use the lab at NCIS. I'm sure we could get an answer more quickly that way."

"Very well. Just tell me where and when to take her," Ray smiled. "In the meantime, I will let you dictate how much time you spend with Chris, let you set the pace. I have no intention of dropping her in the lap of perfect strangers, but if you're in agreement, I do believe this is what's best for her." He tried to hide the pain in his heart at the thought of not having his only grandbaby constantly underfoot.

Noticing Harm's silence, Ray reconsidered what he was about to say. "Perhaps, I should have asked first if this is what you want? Based on the kind of man Jordan described you to be, and what I've observed the past two days, I just assumed you would want Chris with you." It had honestly never occurred to him that Harm might not want Chris to live with him, that he might be satisfied with the role of weekend father.

"I think we all want what's best for her." Harm took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was so much to consider. He was going to need to have a very long, very serious talk with Mac, and soon.

"Colonel, Colonel!" Chris came running up between Harm and Mac, her hands dropping excitedly on Mac's lap. "Did you see that?" She was practically bouncing out of her skin with enthusiasm.

"What happened?" Mac asked animatedly, fairly sure Chris wasn't upset about anything.

"I came down the big slide! Watch!" Not waiting for an answer, Chris turned and ran back across the play area to the long tube slide. All adult eyes were now on her.

With her eyes intent on the happy little girl, Mac wasn't aware of how both Ray and Harm turned briefly to glance at her, each amazed that Chris had come to her first. Taking a minute to think about it, Harm realized that from the very first time they met, Chris tended to respond to Mac first.

A few minutes later Chris came swooshing out of the tube, immediately running towards Mac. "Did you see! Did you see!"

"WOW." Mac grinned, slightly stunned as the bundle of energy threw herself into Mac's arms, hugging her tightly. "That was great," Mac whispered into her hair, soothing her back.

"Can I do it again?" At first she asked Mac, then as though some higher understanding had kicked in, she stepped back and turned to her grandfather. "Can I?"

"I don't know. Can you?" he answered.

Correcting herself, she asked a little sheepishly, "May I?"

"One more time, and then we need to get going. It's starting to get late." Her grandfather smiled as she scurried off again.

"How long will you be able to stay in the DC area?" Harm asked, his eyes still following his daughter, wondering what sort of time frame he was working with.

"I don't have a schedule. Some things can't be put on a timetable." Ray had already taken measures to sell his house. If Harm did as Ray expected, and wanted to care for Chris, Ray wouldn't be able to stand being so far away. Without Sally or Chris, retirement in Florida would only be lonely. He still wanted to play an important role in her life. She was almost all he had left in this world.

**Harm's car **

**1900**

Mac could tell Harm was completely lost in thought. Other than a few minor comments about how the day had gone, the two friends had ridden in near total silence. The car was turning into the JAG parking lot when Mac finally spoke up.

"It's still early, would you like to come over for some bad coffee?" She shrugged, remembering something he'd said to her once, long ago.

"That depends. Do I get to catch you in your pajamas?" Harm remembered the same night, another time when they were starting over.

"We'll have to see about that," she chuckled.

"I guess I'll just have to settle for coffee and good company then."

"Good. See you in a few." Letting herself out, Mac walked to her car.

Harm watched closely as she made her way around the sports car, settling quickly into the driver's seat. Once she had pulled out of the lot, he followed right behind her. He had a lot of changes to make in his life, and he needed to talk to Mac. The only question was, where was he going to start?

**Chapter 9**

**Mac's apartment **

**Georgetown**

Mac could hear Harm's footsteps coming up the stairs as she unlocked her front door. Leaving the door open, she headed straight for the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

"I just put the pot on. Make yourself at home, coffee will be ready soon."

"Do you need some help?" Harm called, closing the door behind him.

"Nope. Not much to it," she smiled.

"Okay. Mind if I turn on some music?"

"Knock yourself out."

Slipping in a few of his favorite CDs and hitting shuffle, Harm made himself comfortable on Mac's sofa.

"Here we go." Mac carried in two mugs. Setting one down in front of Harm, she took a seat beside him.

"She's really a very well behaved little girl. You should be proud of her."

"You know, I really am." Harm leaned forward for his mug.

"Were you like that as a child?" Mac smiled before taking a sip of her drink.

"Why? What did you expect from me as a child?" Dennis the Menace?" Taking a swallow, Harm wiggled his brows at her, the hot coffee feeling good going down.

"Just asking." She half nodded with an amused grin. "What are you going to do?" Mac was thinking about the doubts Harm had expressed the night before. If he wanted it, Ray Parker had given him an out, but she was sure he wouldn't take it.

"Mostly, take it one day at time. I did a lot of thinking last night after I left here. I have a lot to do, starting with declaring her my dependent. The Navy needs to know about Chris." Harm took another sip of coffee, even though it wasn't the coffee he'd come for.

"Do you think maybe you should wait for the results of the DNA tests?"

"You know she's mine, don't you?"

"Yes, but still..."

"I guess it won't hurt to wait a few more days, but I want to get the tests taken right away, tomorrow." He looked up at Mac, wondering if making a place for Chris in his life would hinder his chances of convincing Mac to go through with their pledge of years ago, or if he could convince her to do this together as well.

"I'm sure Ray won't mind the rush. What else have you been thinking?" Mac wrapped her fingers more tightly around her mug. She could see the weight of Harm's thoughts clouding his eyes, turning the normally earthy green into a stormy gray.

"Lots of things: my apartment, my work, you, us, and don't tell me there is no us." He hadn't meant for the last part to come out as harshly as it had, but he hated the idea that Mac might use this situation as an excuse to take a step, several steps, back in their now growing relationship.

"No, I won't do that." She tried to smile, but it was too hard.

"Do you know how much I appreciate your being with me for this? Yesterday, today?" He tried to ease into the direction this conversation needed to take.

"I think I have an idea." One corner of her mouth curled upward in a hint of a smile.

"Did you notice, today, when she came down the slide, she ran straight to you?" Harm put his coffee cup down on the table.

"She did, didn't she?" A huge grin spread across Mac's face at the recognition.

"I always knew it would be that way." Harm let out a heavy sigh.

Mac looked at him curiously, unsure of what he meant.

"I knew our children would always run to you first." Harm stared ahead at his empty mug on the table.

Mac scooted to the edge of the couch in order to set her cup on the table beside Harm's. Not letting go, her hands still wrapped around the now cool mug on the table, Mac swallowed the lump in her throat. "She's not our child."

"I know. Sometimes when I watch you together, I forget that." Harm reached over, letting his hand fall gently on Mac's leg.

"How can you possibly forget I'm the one who can't have children?" She hadn't moved, hadn't looked at him. Her fingers gripped the mug more tightly.

"You don't know that for sure. There are options. We could explore the possibilities." His thumb began mindlessly caressing her thigh

"Don't you think you've got enough on your plate already?" Mac barely glanced in his direction, almost afraid to look him in the eye. Afraid of what she might, or might not see.

"No, I don't. Mac, are you even considering it? Except for a few insinuations the other night, you haven't said much about it for months." Harm shifted his weight, setting his other hand on her knee.

"I've thought about it." Boy, had she thought about it! Only every day for the last five and a half years. Even when she should have been thinking of a future with Mic or Clay, her mind still wandered to that one moment years ago when they made what most people would consider a crazy deal.

"If you hadn't gotten sick, if you thought we had a chance, then would you want to go through with it?" Harm needed some hint of what she was feeling.

Mac turned her head to honestly look into Harm's deep green eyes for the first time since the topic of conversation had shifted to their deal. Closing her eyes, searching deep in her soul, she heard the sound of her own voice. "Yes."

"Then maybe we should discuss this? Seriously, with no cryptic comments or insinuations, and no vague 'I'll let you knows.'

"Harm, I really don't think this is the best time to be getting into this. You have a more pressing matter to be concerned with. Chris."

"I don't need you to remind me about her, Mac. It's unlikely I could forget I have an almost five year old daughter whose mother never saw fit to mention her existence to me, but that doesn't change what's been happening between us. I told you before that I wanted to be a part of your life, not just on the outside looking in, but all the time. The question I have to ask you now is; do you still want me in your life if it includes a little girl? Someone else's little girl?" Harm silently crossed his fingers. The question really got right to the crux of the matter. What he had always wanted or envisioned held little importance if Mac didn't have any interest in being saddled with someone else's child.

"She's still yours." Mac couldn't help the small smile that flickered for only a fraction of a moment. Chris looked so much like Mac had always pictured Harm's daughter would look, with his green eyes and the trademark Rabb smile. Somehow, it was easy to forget she wasn't hers, too.

"Could she be ours? I don't mean instead of one of our own, but along with?" Harm was having a hard time reading Mac. She was sitting in an almost defensive position, despite teetering on the edge of the sofa as though ready to bolt, she was still gripping the coffee cup as if it were her last connection with sanity.

Mac finally released the mug on the table and took Harm's hand in hers. "Are you asking me because you still want to share my world, or because you're afraid to do this alone?" Not that sharing his child didn't appeal to her, but he did say no vagueness, or insinuations. He'd recently made it clear, more than once, that he wanted them to share a child, and maybe even a life, but he never mentioned exactly how he pictured that life. If it was to be as a happily married couple sharing fully in the life of their children, or a happily divorced couple with an amicable custody agreement. If it was the latter, she wasn't so sure she could take being Jordan's substitute.

"Of course I'm afraid to do this alone, but I wouldn't be the first or last single father to raise a daughter by himself if I have to. The thing is, I've never wanted to. When I said I wanted to be a part of your life, I meant all of it. The mornings, the nights," his eyes twinkled mischievously at those last words, "and everything in between. I wanted us to be together to share the good, the bad, the easy, the hard, and if all there ever would be was the two of us, that would have been okay, so long as we were together." Watching her carefully as she processed every word of what he'd just said, "What did you think I meant?"

"I...I was never really sure. I mean, we've been spending more time together since Clay died and reappeared, and I did feel we were finally facing all the obstacles we've avoided for so many years. I've just spent so many years confused by the mixed signals and miscommunications, I was afraid to put too much faith in something that would simply turn out to be another broken dream." Mac couldn't help but remember Harm's voice urging her to come to him, only to find another woman seeking comfort in his arms.

"I know I've let you down in the past, Mac. You have no idea how sorry I am for that, but I promise, if you'll let me in this time, you can count on me, forever."

Reaching up and gently running one finger down the length of his cheek, Mac took a deep breath. "I want to." Her finger was trembling by the time it came to a stop on the seam of his lips.

"Then do it," he whispered into her finger.

**Chapter 10 **

**Mac's apartment**

**Georgetown**

**2100 hours**

Raising his hand to cover hers, he enveloped her timid hand in his, dragging it away from his face, and leaning up close to her. "Please?" He breathed against her lips before capturing them in a slow, delicate tangle of simple pleasure.

Allowing the moment to linger, Harm indulged in the tenderness of the kiss, in the feel of her softness beneath his fingers, and the warmth of her body pressed heavily against him. He needed to feel her with him a little while longer, yet he knew he needed to keep his feelings and desires from escalating to a level that simply couldn't be fulfilled, not tonight. No matter how tempted he might be by the feel of Mac's soft body fully in his arms, Harm knew now wasn't the time to let this kiss go any further. It was too soon, there was still too much to decide, too many unknowns to deal with, and their newly budding romance was still on very tenuous ground.

In all of the few times fate had allowed them a glimpse of what they could be like together, this was the most compelling moment of all. Every fear and concern Mac had ever experienced was slowly melting away in the warmth and safety of Harmon Rabb. For the first time in a very long time, she felt as though this was right, as though nothing could get in their way. The urge to touch and feel him that she had been so strenuously repressing was surging to the surface, threatening to overtake all common sense. She was most definitely ready to let Harmon Rabb into her life, but no matter how much she wanted this, wanted him, she knew their emotions were too raw, their fears too fresh. As hard as it might be, they still needed more time.

As if fueled by one mind, Harm and Mac both pulled back gently with a sigh. Their hands dropping to their sides, their fingers instantly entwining in a tangled grip as if their very lives depended on the small thread of physical connection.

"Would you like another cup of coffee?" Mac's voice was barely above a whisper.

"The last thing I need right now is another stimulant." Harm closed his eyes, a flush rising in his cheeks at having been so blatantly honest.

"How about tea instead?" Mac wasn't ready for him to leave just yet, and she wasn't ready to deal with his slip of the tongue.

"I should really head home. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I'll need to at least tell Sir Sturgis what is going on, then I'll need to arrange for the blood tests, and somewhere in there I'm supposed to actually get some JAG work done.

"Will you need my help?"

"I don't think so, but I'll let you know if I do." Harm managed to force himself to let go of one hand as he stood up.

"You're sure you don't want to stay a little longer?" Mac got up off the sofa still holding tightly to Harm's other hand.

"It's not that I don't want to, I just don't think it's a very good idea right now." If this was really the beginning of a more serious relationship for them, then he was going to have to give her the unbridled truth, no diversionary tactics.

"I know. You've got a lot to work through." Mac followed him as he walked slowly to the door. Neither one of them wanted to break the connection, and yet, both knew it was for the best.

"I'll see you in the morning." Tempting fate, Harm looked into those beautiful brown eyes once more and leaned in for a short, heartfelt kiss. "Good night," he whispered, then walked out the door.

Mac watched him walk down the hall from her doorway. Could this finally be 'the' time they get it right? Lord, she certainly hoped so. Her heart would never stand another relationship fiasco.

**JAG Headquarters**

**1130**

It had been a busy morning for Harm. First thing, he had phoned Abby over at NCIS and arranged for Chris and himself to be tested. She promised to keep it all on the QT, feeling they owed him at least that much.

"How's it going, sailor?" Mac asked, standing just outside Harm's office door.

"Better than I thought." Harm dropped his pen on the desk and motioned for Mac to take a seat. "I've been waiting for you to get out of court. How'd it go?"

"As expected. We taught Bud too well, the jury believed him. They gave Meyers three years confinement and dishonorable discharge. About what I expected."

"Sorry." Harm wiggled his brow at her.

"No, you're not. You know as well as I do, he was guilty as sin," Mac chuckled. "What were you wanting to see me about?"

"I spoke with Abby at NCIS this morning. Everything is all taken care of."

"I see." Mac was a little surprised he'd contacted Abby, but had no intention of making a big deal of it.

"I also spoke with Ray. He and Chris don't have anything planned for the day. We discussed the options and thought it might be easier on her if we did it together, sort of a solidarity type thing, so they're going to come here first."

"That's a good idea, then you can make coming to the office somewhat of a day trip, a mini excursion before the less pleasant part of the day."

"Well, it won't be that unpleasant. Abby says there's no need for a blood test. A simple cotton swab of the mouth will do for what we need. She's also going to give Chris a short tour."

"That sounds like a good idea. This way you won't have to explain very much to her until the time is right." Mac took a deep breath, she hoped timing wasn't going to continue to be a daunting thing in their relationship.

"I was just about to give Sturgis a heads up. I don't suppose you care to wait around and pick up the pieces." Harm's grin was malicious and infectious.

"It won't be that bad. You can do this, superman." The smile on Harm's face was as wide as a carrier deck. Despite not enjoying his meetings, or confrontations, with Sturgis, Harm was beaming from head to toe at the prospect of proving Chris was his daughter, and to Mac's surprise, the sheer delight in his eyes had her thrilled as well.

Jennifer Coates knocked lightly on the door. "Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry to interrupt, but there are two guests you authorized on their way upstairs."

"Yes, Jennifer. Thank you." Harm waited for the petty officer to leave before speaking again. "I guess I won't have time to meet with Sturgis after all. It'll have to wait until we get back."

"I doubt it will matter." Mac smiled, happy she was going to get a chance to see Chris again.

"Want to join me at the elevator?" Harm asked on his way around the desk.

"Sure, I've got time."

The elevator doors with JAG's newest visitors opened just as Harm and Mac made their way through the glass doors. The first thing they saw was the wide-eyed smile on Chris' face. "There they are, Grandpa!" Chris pointed, running towards Harm and Mac, dragging her chuckling grandfather behind her.

"Remember what I told you," Ray reminded her. Earlier that morning, he'd made his best effort at explaining military protocol to the excited four-year-old.

"Yes, sir." Slowing her pace, Chris stopped short in front of the two officers. "Thank you for inviting me." Tucking her chin deep against her chest, she made a fruitless effort to contain her youthful enthusiasm.

"Would you like to see my office?" Harm extended his hand to the little girl.

Looking to her grandfather for approval first, "Yes, sir!" she squealed, happily slipping her hand in Harm's before reaching over to take hold of Mac's with her other hand.

The lunch hour meant the bullpen wasn't buzzing with its normal level of activity. They made it to Harm's office without any distraction by curious onlookers.

"Here we are, this is my office." Harm waved inside as Chris stood in the doorway looking everywhere, studiously taking in her surroundings as she did with everything new.

"Look, Grandpa." Pointing to the top of the door, "That's my name."


	2. Chapters 11 thru 20

**Chapter 11**

Looking up in the direction Chris was pointing, Harm stood wide-eyed focusing on his nameplate. Understanding slammed into him with the force of a speeding motor vehicle.

"Yes, sweetie. The Commander and you have the same last name," Ray answered nonchalantly.

Harm was at a total loss for words. It shouldn't have been such a surprise, but somehow he hadn't expected her to be a Rabb. Feeling Mac's hand gently squeeze his arm, he glanced in her direction.

"Isn't it, Harm?" Mac repeated more clearly.

"Excuse me?" He had no idea anyone had said anything.

"I said, isn't it special that you both have the same last name?" Mac looked at Harm pointedly. Her mouth twitching in Chris' direction, her eyes frantically suggested he snap out of whatever daze he was momentarily in.

"That's right. I guess that makes us special." To his surprise, Chris' smile grew even brighter.

"Would you like to sit in the big chair?" Mac asked, giving Harm some obviously needed time to regroup.

Not waiting to answer, Chris scurried over behind the desk and climbed into Harm's chair. Joining her, Mac clicked on a game of Minesweeper. "Do you know how to play this?" she asked.

In the meantime, Harm pulled Ray into Mac's office and closed the door.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Ray was somewhat startled by Harm's irritation.

"She has my name." Harm wasn't angry, exactly, but he was clearly upset.

"What did you think? I told you it was never Jordan's intention to always keep you out of Chris' life. She just needed time. Something she ran out of sooner than she expected." Ray didn't see the problem.

"Then my name is on Chris' birth certificate?"

"Yes. You are her father. Did you expect Jordan to have made up a name?" Ray was beginning to get a little annoyed with Harm's attitude. It was obvious Harm was taken with Chris. They were on their way to prove his paternity. What in heaven's name was so upsetting about not needing to change her records? "I'm afraid I don't understand what's bothering you?"

Harm swallowed a laugh. "First, you come and tell me I have a daughter that no one saw fit to inform me of sooner, essentially robbing me of almost five years of her life. Then I discover that according to public record, my name has been on her birth certificate all along, without my permission. And she carries my name! Just about anyone in her path the last four years knows she's my daughter except me!"

"Harm, trust me when I tell you, I think you're overreacting." Ray gave Harm a look that reminded Harm terribly of Frank scolding him after trying to sneak in after curfew.

"Ray, I feel as though my name and child were stolen from me. If Jordie had said something, anything, to give me a hint of what was going on..." Harm trailed off, turning to look out the window. He couldn't explain why finding this out upset him so much. It was like rubbing salt in his wounds.

"Harm, as much as I'd like to sit here and discuss the finer points of Chris' birth so you understand exactly what it was like for my daughter, there's a very sweet little girl next door who thinks it's really cool to have the same last name as you. She's also expecting to go visit some of your friends. I think it's time we set this aside and get back to taking care of business." Ray dropped his hand on the back of Harm's shoulder. "Come on. Let's get going."

This must be the crux of parenting, Harm thought to himself, doing what you have to do, no matter how out of sorts life makes you feel. "Alright, let's get this done." Harm walked briskly passed Mr. Parker, and proceeded to his office.

"Well, ladies, are we ready to get going?" Harm forced a smile he didn't feel.

**NCIS LAB**

**Short time later**

They'd ridden together in Harm's Lexus. After opening the door for Mac, Harm turned to open the door for Chris. Taking her hand in his, the two of them walked together towards the large glass building. Ray and Mac followed only a few steps behind. It was an amusing sight. With Harm's height, he had to lean just a tad to his right, at the same time Chris' arm was fully extended. It appeared as if he were going to lift her off the ground at any moment. Once inside the doors, Chris' eyes opened wide with her youthful curiosity. Harm could tell she was taking in every detail. Letting go of Chris' hand long enough to sign everyone in and receive visitor's passes, Harm took hold of the little girl's hand once again and the group made their way to Abby's lab.

Though inconceivable, the wide-eyed look on Chris' face grew larger still as soon as they stepped into the ample room. She intently took in every table, every test tube, every nook and cranny. Harm could just imagine the questions running through the four-year-old's mind. Hearing the commotion as they came through the doors, Abby turned from the project she'd been working on and walked up to greet her guests.

"It's nice to see you again, Commander." Abby gave a somewhat apologetic smirk.

"I appreciate your helping out with this," Harm replied, his smile obviously reserved. He was doing this, but everything about this NCIS team still made his blood pressure rise.

"My name is Abby." The dark haired woman in the white lab coat bent over to greet her young visitor.

Chris' curious expression flashed to near panic in an instant. Taking a short step back, she pulled away from Harm and reached frantically for Mac's hand, sidling up nervously beside her.

Startled by Chris' odd behavior, it took Mac only a few seconds to recognize the problem. Abby had a rather unusual spider web tattoo on her neck that had no doubt scared the unaware pre-schooler. Squatting down on her heels, Mac turned to look at the little girl.

"Abby is an old friend. She's offered to show us around this lab. Do you know that she has art on her body?" Mac waited a moment as the little girl shook her head no. "Some people paint pictures on themselves. Abby has some very interesting ones. Would you like to see them?"

Chris wasn't sure how to answer, so she just stared at Mac.

Immediately, Abby rolled up her sleeves and showed Chris the smaller rose tattoo on her upper forearm. "This is my favorite. It reminds me of my mother's rose garden." Abby tried to put the little girl at ease. "You can touch it if you like?" she offered, knowing the more you knew about something, the less you had to fear, even at four.

Chris looked at Mac first, who immediately reached out and touched the tattoo, setting the example for Chris. Slightly reserved, Chris extended her hand slowly, her fingers barely touching the colored arm. Her shoulders relaxing, she looked up at Abby, then rubbed the spot a little more firmly. "You have really soft skin."

"Thanks." Relieved, Abby smiled broadly, especially thankful she'd opted not to wear the spiked collar this morning.

With Chris feeling much more at ease, Abby took the group on a quick tour of the facilities. Having first checked with Ducky to make sure there was nothing out and about, so to speak, that would give a four year old nightmares for the rest of her life, they even did a tour of the morgue.

"The information Abby and Ducky send to us helps us do our job. This is how we make sure we don't send the good guys to jail by mistake," Harm explained on their way back to the lab.

"Is this where they found the person who hurt mommy?"

Harm and Mac shared a passing glance. "In a way. This is where they told us whoever had hurt your mom had a dog."

Extending her hand to the little girl, Abby walked Chris over to one of the apparatus' on the tabletop. Lifting her up onto the chair, "This machine lets us look at details of really small things, like hair. When we looked at some hair from where your mom was...hurt, we found the hairs belonged to a dog."

"So, you found the man?" Chris looked up curiously at Abby.

"Well, not me, but someone doing the same job as me."

"Remember, honey, the person who hurt your mom was a lady, a very sick lady. It wasn't her fault."

"I remember. It was an accident." Making a huffy noise that showed more wisdom than her years, Chris hopped off the stool and returned to Mac's side.

"Some of these machines tell the scientists all sorts of small details. They can tell you if you're sick, what you ate for lunch, who your mommy and daddy are, all sorts of fun things."

"I'll show you." Abby jumped in, already having the swabs ready. "Mac, open ah," she instructed as she took a quick swab of her mouth, "You too, Commander. Now you Mr. Parker." Turning to the little girl, "Open wide, Chris." Putting each of the swabs in a clearly marked plastic bag, she told them, "Now, we can look at these and tell you all sorts of things."

Chris walked away from Mac and moved in close to Abby. "Can I watch?" A low cough from her grandfather quickly reminded her. "May I?" she corrected.

Looking up at Harm for some guidance, Abby watched Harm and Mac silently exchange information.

"Maybe another time. Aren't you hungry?" Harm asked.

Chris bit her lower lip as if debating what was more important, her hunger or her curiosity.

Harm watched her thought process with interest, "What if we stay for a few more minutes to watch Abby set up, and then we all go get some lunch?" he suggested.

A bright smile immediately spread the width of Chris' face. Test or no test, there was little doubt in anyone's mind, this child was most definitely a Rabb.

**Chapter 12 **

**Harm's office**

**JAG headquarters**

**Mid afternoon**

"Okay, Mister. You want to tell me what that was all about?" Mac huffed taking the seat in front of Harm.

"All what?" Harm dropped heavily into his desk chair. After eating lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant, Harm and Mac had said goodbye to Ray and Chris in the JAG parking lot and returned upstairs.

"Mr. Oblivious when Chris mentioned the names. Jordan put you on the birth certificate, didn't she?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Why did you react as though you'd just been told she wasn't yours?"

"It's not that. I was surprised. I didn't think someone could be named my child on official records, and carry my name, without needing to inform me. I just assumed her father's name wasn't on her birth certificate, and she went by Parker."

"Then you don't want her using Rabb?"

"I didn't say that."

"Enlighten me. What are you saying?"

"I don't know." Harm ran his fingers through his hair and along the back of his neck. "It shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. It just caught me off guard. I'm sorry if I scared her."

"I think we covered quickly enough, but you're going to have to learn not to react so harshly to surprises. I hear they pop up a lot raising children." Mac shot Harm a whimsical smile.

"That's what worries me." He rolled his eyes, smiling back at her.

Harm was on pins and needles the remainder of the day. He and Mac had enjoyed a quiet dinner alone at her apartment. They discussed a few cases, how Harriet was feeling, what a pain Sturgis was being with his mountains of paperwork, but they didn't bring up Chris, or their relationship. Without having spoken the words, they somehow knew they needed a quiet, stress free evening. Two old friends enjoying each other's company.

That had worked just fine until Harm woke up the next morning. Then reality slapped him in the face. He and Mac wanted more than simple friendship, and he was going to have to stop waiting and do something about it. Chris was now a part of his life, and hopefully sometime today, he'd find out just how big a part. And somehow, he was supposed to go into his office and function as though today were any other day.

He was failing miserably. By lunchtime, every enlisted person on the floor had discovered it was best to stay out of Commander Rabb's way, even at the risk of disobeying a direct order. The officers weren't overly thrilled with him either.

"At the risk of putting my own life on the line, any word yet?" Mac asked from a safe distance.

"No. Am I that bad?" Harm dropped his pen on the desk.

"The bullpen is drawing for the short straw now," Mac smiled, uncrossing her ankles and walking into his office.

Harm sighed heavily, "Well, I'm trying not to think about it, but it's hard."

"I'm sure it is. How long did Abby say it would take?"

"She thought I'd hear by the end of today, but it could be tomorrow." Harm pushed his sleeve back to read his watch for the millionth time. Only 1310.

"Are you going to be able to wait that long?"

"I don't have much choice, do I?" Harm picked up the pen and began fidgeting, not sure what else to do with the nervous energy.

"Were you able to talk with Sturgis?"

"No, he was gone when we got back yesterday. I had court this morning, and he has meetings scheduled all afternoon. Coates says she can squeeze me in at 1600. I'm hoping I'll have some more definitive news for him by then."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed." Mac had barely made it to the door when his phone rang, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Rabb." Listening to the voice on the other end, Harm shook his head no, silently letting Mac know it wasn't the much awaited phone call.

It was going to be a very long night if Harm didn't hear something today. Mac shrugged a smile and went back to work. Definitely, a very long night.

At 1545, Harm was just getting ready to go to Sturgis' office when his phone rang for the umpteenth time that day. He'd pretty much accepted that it wasn't going to be the call he'd been waiting for when he heard Abby's voice on the other end. "What shall I get you for father's day, Papa?"

"Really?" He knew it all along, yet somehow, it was still a shock to his system.

"Really." Abby grinned from across town. She liked the little girl, and oddly enough, she liked Rabb too.

"Thanks, Abby. I owe you one." An enormous smile spread across Harm's face.

"Let's just call it even."

"Deal." Harm hung up quickly. Not having enough time to really talk with Mac before his meeting with Sturgis, Harm tapped loudly on her doorframe as he walked past. When Mac looked up, he gave her a thumbs up, even though the smile alone would have been a dead giveaway.

As pleased as Harm had grown with the idea of being Chris' father, he found himself overwhelmed with the joy swelling in his heart, and wishing he had cigars to pass out. God, how he wished he had been there when she was born.

"He's waiting for you, sir." Coates pointed to the admiral's door.

"Thanks, Jen." Harm simply couldn't wipe the huge smile off his face.

Jen cocked her head curiously. Talk about night and day. Not a sane human being wanted to be anywhere near Commander Rabb most of the day, and now, he looked happier than Peter Pan on Christmas.

Coming to attention inside Sturgis' temporary office, Harm waited impatiently.

"At ease, Harm. Have a seat. What is it you needed to see me for?"

"I'm going to be needing to make some changes to my official records, and I wanted you to hear it from me first."

"Changes?" Good grief, Sturgis hoped Harm wasn't going to jump ship in the middle of his watch.

"Yes. You see...Well, it's basically just my next of kin. Dependents, actually."

Sturgis watched Harm intently. He was nervous, but not really scared. Surely, if something had become of his mother or Frank, Harm would be much more upset. No, this had a different feel to it. He said dependents... Holy Moses! Sturgis' eyes flew open wide. He and Mac finally...Well, good! Despite their differences of late, Sturgis knew Harm and Mac would be great parents. He could hardly wait to see all 6'4 of him handling a newborn infant.

"Are you okay?" Harm paused noticing the odd expressions flashing across Sturgis' face.

"It's about time, buddy!" Sturgis jumped up from behind his chair and practically flew around to slap Harm on the back. "I couldn't be happier for you two. Really. Man, when she told me how she felt about you all those years ago, and yet, I watched you grow further and further apart, I thought for sure I'd never see the day you'd get your heads out of your sixes." Sturgis was now vigorously shaking Harm's hand.

"Sturgis, what are you talking about?"

"You and Mac. What do you mean what am I talking about? You're having a baby, aren't you?" The broad grin on his face slowly froze into a crooked question.

"What? No! What gave you an idea like that? Wait, what do you mean how she felt all those years ago?" Now Harm had the odd look on his face.

"Never mind that. Back up, and start over again. What change in dependents?"

Opting to temporarily put aside Sturgis' unusual comment. "I have a daughter, Christine. She's almost five."

"Are congratulations still in order?" Sturgis hesitated. He was confidant Harm would relish the responsibility of parenthood, but he wasn't going to make a fool of himself twice in the same afternoon.

"They are." Harm accepted Sturgis' hand and watched him silently doing the math in his head.

"The psychiatrist?" Sturgis calculated.

"Jordan, yes."

"And she never told you?"

"Apparently she wanted to before she died, but didn't get the chance."

"I see. Of course, there's no room for error?"

"The lab just called. DNA confirms she's mine."

Sturgis nodded his head and made his way back around to his seat. "Have you told your mom yet?"

"No, we thought it was best to make sure before I told her."

"We?"

"It was Mac's suggestion."

"So, she knows?" Maybe he wasn't that far off after all. Sturgis smiled to himself.

"Yes, I told her right away. I wouldn't have made it this far without her help," Harm admitted.

"I'm assuming you're going to want your daughter as beneficiary for your life insurance, and of course, as you said, as you're daughter you'll need to add her to your next of kin list." Boy didn't that sound odd to his ears. Harm's daughter.

Harm nodded.

"I'll make sure Jennifer gets all the forms you'll need to correct your records and implement the changes. Is she going to be living with you now?" Sturgis didn't want to pry, but he was curious how far off the mark he was on this.

"Eventually. I have a lot of things to set straight first."

Nodding his head, Sturgis swallowed a smile. He'd be willing to bet a year's salary he knew exactly what, or who, Harm had to set straight first.

**Chapter 13**

Harm wasn't surprised to find Mac waiting for him in her office.

"You ready to blow this joint a little early, sailor?"

"Works for me. I've got a few things I need to clear up, and then I'd like to go see Chris. Is that okay with you?"

"If you want me. Yeah."

"Mac, I thought we'd been there, done that. You know exactly how I feel."

"Well, now is certainly not the time to discuss it if I didn't," she smiled. "I'm all set to go. Come and get me when you're finished."

**JAG parking lot**

**Short time later**

"Why don't you follow me to my place. I can change quickly, and then ride with you back to your apartment." Mac really didn't want to leave her car at JAG again. She wasn't comfortable with what people might be thinking. After all, if she were having a torrid affair with Harm then she'd at least deserve the speculation, but what fun was being talked about if you weren't doing anything.

"Meet you there." Harm walked around her towards his car. His mind already running at ninety miles an hour. He had so much to decide he wasn't sure where to start.

Leaving work a little earlier somehow spared them the usual heavy rush hour traffic. Harm wasn't sure but he was going to take the unusual good fortune as a sign that things were finally going his way, even if he had no idea where that was.

It hadn't taken Mac but a few minutes to throw on a pair of slacks and a sweater and to run a brush through her hair. He liked the way her longer hair framed her face and brushed against her shoulders. Neither said much while Harm waited for her to change. She tried not to take long. She could tell he was anxious about this evening.

They'd been on the road to his place for almost ten minutes and neither had said a word. She could only imagine the number of things Harm was most likely trying to sort out.

"What's next?" That seemed like the most basic place to start. At least, Mac hoped it was safe if nothing else.

Harm turned to Mac for a split second with a slightly incredulous stare, then turned his eyes back to the road.

"How does I have no earthly idea grab you?"

Mac could almost feel the heaviness of his sigh from where she was sitting.

"I'm debating if I want to call mom before we go over to see Chris, or if I want to save it till we get back after I've had a chance to talk to Ray."

"How much of a difference will talking to Ray make on what you're going to tell your mom?"

"Not much, probably."

"You're stalling."

"Maybe. How do you tell a woman that she has a four year old granddaughter?"

"Well, I suppose 'carefully' would be obvious." Mac smiled coyly trying to ease some of the tension in the car. "Consider it practice. You're going to have to tell everyone you know, and eventually Chris herself."

Mac could see the blood drain from Harm's face.

"How am I going to find the words for that?" Harm thought out loud, not really expecting Mac to answer.

"Don't worry, you will," she smiled. Of the many things she was unsure of, that wasn't one of them. They rode the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Harm was still thinking, but there was a lot to sort through.

Dropping his keys on the table by the door, Harm called over to Mac, "Get yourself something to drink. I'm going to get out of this uniform, then I'll fix us a quick bite to eat before calling Mom."

"Better yet, why don't we call your mom first?" Mac suggested, her head already in the refrigerator.

"You want me to call my mom on an empty stomach?" Harm teased from his room.

"Consider it your appetizer," she laughed back, closing the fridge door, two bottles of water in her hand. "What were you thinking of fixing?"

"I've got a casserole in the fridge from yesterday."

"Want me to warm the oven?"

"If you don't mind, thanks." Harm started down the stairs. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans with a deep blue v-neck sweater that made his eyes glimmer like sapphires. The sweater fit snugly enough to emphasize his strong physique, and a hint of chest hair peeked out from the point of the v. He looked so damn sexy, just watching him walk made her knees weak.

"350 okay?" Swallowing hard, Mac swung around and grabbed the oven door handle with one hand to steady herself, and set the temperature knob with the other. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to face Harm again, her knees barely holding her up.

Brushing past her, he pulled the dish out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter. "I guess I'd better get this over with."

Picking up the phone, he walked over to the sofa, already dialing the number from memory.

"Hey, Frank." Harm began tapping his fingers on the cushion beside him. "I was hoping Mom might be home? ...Yeah, things are doing great here. We've been having a pleasant Indian summer... Thanks."

Rubbing his hand across the back of his neck briefly before resuming his fingertip symphony, Harm called over to Mac, "She's on the deck. Frank's getting her now." His eyes followed her every move as she placed the casserole into the now warm oven.

"MOM," Harm snapped, not intending to sound so startled. "How are things going?"

"Fine, now that I've recovered from the shock. I didn't think you remembered our phone number. Is something wrong?" Trish Burnett didn't believe in beating around the bush. Her son didn't call very often, but the last two years, not often was more than a gross understatement. If she hadn't taken the time to check on him, she wouldn't be sure if he were even still alive.

"Can't a son call his mom to tell her he loves her?"

"Of course he can! Right after he tells her what's wrong." She couldn't help chuckling at his lame diversion.

"Well, nothing's wrong, but I do have some news."

"Please tell me I'm finally going to be a mother-in-law." Trish sidled up next to her husband. If that was what had kept Harm too busy to call the last two years, she'd never complain about anything again.

"Not exactly. Is Frank with you?"

"Yes, he's right here. And what do you mean, not exactly?"

"Well, take a seat and put me on speaker phone."

"Harmon Rabb." She stabbed quickly at the buttons on the phone, the static echoing clearly. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's not bad news, Mom. At least I don't think so."

"Then you ARE getting married!" She grabbed hold of her husband's hand and dropped into the large easy chair by the phone.

"No." Harm looked up at Mac. How he wished he could have answered yes. "You've always wanted grandchildren."

"Mac's pregnant!" She sprang up off the seat again. She'd have rather had the wedding first, but this was good, too.

Harm turned to Mac again, his brows curling awkwardly in confusion. Why the hell did everyone assume he and Mac were pregnant?

Mac moved closer to the sofa. So far, from what she could hear the conversation had gone much like she expected, but the contorted look on his face started her heart racing with concern.

"No, Mom. Do you remember Jordan? The psychiatrist I dated a few years ago?"

"She's pregnant?" Trish dropped back down in the seat.

"No." He should know better then to ask his mother leading questions.

"Then who's pregnant?" Trish shrugged at her husband's questioning glare.

"No one is pregnant, Mom. You'd better just let me get this out." Harm extended his free hand up in Mac's direction as a silent invitation to sit beside him, then took tight hold of her hand in his when she sat down quietly next to him.

"Jordan and I broke up when I returned to flying five years ago. When I returned home she wouldn't answer my calls and only spoke to me briefly once before taking an assignment in Spain. She did contact me two years later, but she was murdered before we had a chance to speak." Harm was cut off by his mom's gasp.

"You never told me that!" Trish had forgotten all about weddings and grandchildren. What a horrible thing for her son to have gone through.

"It turns out, when I left to fly, she was pregnant. I have a four year old daughter, Mom. Christine Elizabeth."

**Chapter 14**

**Harm's apartment**

**Same time**

"Mom? Are you still with me?" Harm squeezed Mac's hand again.

"Yes. How long have you known?"

"A few days."

"Are you sure? She's yours, I mean?"

"Yes. We got the DNA results today." Harm waited impatiently listening to more silence on the line. "Mom?"

"I'm still here, dear... A little girl?" A slow smile began to creep across her face. Looking up at her husband, Trish was surprised to find him already smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"She's really sweet, and smart, too," Harm smiled timidly, beginning to relax for the first time since he picked up the phone.

"Do you need our help buying a house?"

"A house?"

"Yes, you know; four walls, a roof, a backyard. Don't tell me you've got her in that little bachelor pad of yours!" Trish was already packing her bags in her mind, suddenly horrified at the thought of her little granddaughter alone with her son.

"No, Mom. She's with..." Harm didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Wait a minute – if her mom was murdered two years ago, who's been taking care of her?" Trish was beginning to panic.

"Her grandparents, but her grandmother died recently and the grandfather brought her to DC to meet me."

"Good. Then we have time to make proper arrangements. We'll start with the house and schools. I'll have Frank book me on the first flight out tomorrow morning. Don't you worry about a thing, dear, we'll take care of everything."

"Mom, slow down. I just found out for sure she's mine two hours ago." Harm glanced at Mac for confirmation, smiling when she mouthed, two hours and 22 minutes. "I haven't told her yet, and I'm not sure when will be the right time to tell her. I haven't had time to think about anything more, especially not houses. I think it's better if you wait a little bit before coming to meet her. Mac and I have everything under control so far, and I..."

"MAC!" Trish dropped back in the chair again. This time, Frank sat down on the arm beside her. He was getting dizzy watching her spring up and down. "You didn't tell me she was helping you." A sly grin matched the twinkle in her eye.

"I wouldn't have made it through the first day without her." Thank you, he mouthed in Mac's direction.

"I see," Trish smiled.

"Mom..."

"I'll give you two a little time to work all this out, but if you don't..."

"Yes, Mom. I think I get the idea." Harm nodded as though she could see him through the phone.

"I want daily updates," Trish insisted.

"I'll do my best, and Mom?"

"Yes."

"I really do love you."

"I love you too, honey. Now go take care of your family, and remember, if you need help to get a nice house, we're here."

"Night Mom, Frank."

Disconnecting the call, Harm tossed the phone to the other side of the sofa, his head falling heavily on the seatback behind him.

"That didn't sound so bad," Mac grinned, wiggling her fingers to help with circulation.

"Oh, Mac. I'm sorry." Harm let go of her hand, immediately wrapping it around her shoulder and drawing her into him. "No, I suppose it could have been worse, but she's right."

"About what?" Mac snuggled more securely into his embrace, her hand resting on his chest, resisting the urge to play with his chest hair.

"If I'm going to take care of Chris I should consider a house, or at least a bigger place. I'm going to have to start looking into neighborhoods, schools, daycare options, and then there's what to do when I'm sent on investigations," Harm sighed heavily.

"You know I'll help with whatever I can. I'm sure Ray's sister might not mind taking her in when you're away, or maybe... if you'd like, you could... you know, leave her with me." Mac couldn't take it any longer and began slowly swirling the strands of short hair under her fingers.

Harm closed his eyes allowing the warmth of her touch to fill him completely. His mouth was getting ready to speak when he felt her lips lightly touch his neck. Suddenly every drop of blood in his brain was pooling south, igniting a small fire that was quickly rushing through his veins demanding to be fed with the feel of her skin against his.

Shifting her weight, he turned far enough to capture her lips with his. He so loved the taste of Sarah MacKenzie. Slow, he reminded himself. There wasn't enough time to let this go much further, just a little friendly necking. His hands rubbed soothing circles along her back and waist, resisting the temptation to slide up under her sweater and feel her soft, hot skin. His tongue teased and swirled, exploring every sensation her moist mouth had to offer. He could live on nothing but the taste of her kiss and the feel of her soft body in his arms.

Debating with himself if he dared pull her closer, allowing himself to feel the curve of her flesh against his hard body, the decision was made for him with the loud buzzing of his oven timer.

Grudgingly pulling back, his eyes fighting the heaviness of desire, Harm asked, "Could we maybe pick this up again later?"

"Mm." Mac pulled back, her own eyes opening slowly, revealing the same suppressed yearnings.

"Somehow, I think that casserole is going to be a disappointing second best," Harm mumbled on his way to turn off the offending sound.

Making her way to the kitchen, Mac wasn't sure if she was meant to hear him, but either way, she couldn't disagree.

Scooping the food onto a dish and handing it to Mac, "Did you mean what you said about helping?" Harm asked, filling his own plate with a large helping.

"Yes." Mac sat at the table.

"How much help?" Harm took a seat across from her.

"How much do you want?" Her fork dangled in mid air, her gaze slightly suggestive.

"You know what I want." Harm set his fork down on the plate. If this conversation was about to go where he thought it might, food was the last thing he felt like.

"Do I?" Mac took a bite of her food.

"I thought I'd made myself clear."

"You want me in your life. Well, I'm offering to be there when you need help with Chris."

"Actually, what I said was, I wanted to be a part of YOUR life. You're my best friend, Mac. I've never doubted I could count on your help for anything. I'm talking about much more than friendship."

"I hope so. I would hate to think you kiss all your friends that way," Mac smiled, waving her fork in the direction of the sofa they had just vacated.

"Don't drop chaff now, Mac."

"I'm not." She pushed her plate away.

"You never answered me the other night. Could you consider Chris yours? Would you be willing to raise her together?"

"Harm, up until a few nights ago, I had no idea if trying to fulfill our deal meant a comfortable custody agreement or a more permanent arrangement," she started.

"Mac..."

"No, let me finish. You may have seriously implied, but let's face it, it won't be the first or last time you've strongly implied and then everything blew up in my face. I think it's safe to say that a few things are much clearer now then they were even a week ago. There is definitely something between us stronger than anything we can fight or ignore. We both still want that illusive child with your looks and my brains, and it's safe to say you want more than a custody agreement. Have I got that right?"

"Yes." Harm bit his lips repressing the urge to explain himself.

"Before this week you'd kissed me all of three times. Only one of which implied anything of any import, and that was at a time when my fiancé would have taken rather unkindly to my doing anything about it." Mac paused for a breath, aware of Harm's efforts to let her speak her mind.

"Can't you just accept that I want to help with Chris, and let whatever we've started have a chance to grow some solid roots?" Mac pushed back in her chair signaling to Harm she was through.

Moving out of his chair and walking around the table to sit beside Mac, Harm took her hand in his.

"Yes, I can gratefully accept your offer to help with Chris, but since I've obviously not made myself clear in the past, I'm going to make my intentions perfectly clear now. When I say I want to be a part of your life, day and night, in every way, I'm asking you to love me, my children, and our children, for the rest of our lives. That's all I've ever wanted. I won't push this now, but I want you to know when you're ready, I have every intention of asking you to be my wife. Is that clear enough?"

"Yes." Fighting the tears threatening to flow, Mac felt a sly grin tugging at her lips. "Are you expecting any more children?"

Rolling his eyes, Harm pulled Mac into a tight embrace. Holding the back of her head steady with his broad hand, he softly whispered into her ear, "Only the ones we make."

**Chapter 15**

The visit with Ray and his sister's family had been both calming and unnerving. Ray and Shelly had both offered to be Harm's back up when duty called. It surprised Harm to discover how relieved he was to hear Ray's plans included selling his home in Florida and moving to DC to be near his granddaughter. Ray was the only father Chris had ever known, and Harm was relying heavily on his guidance. Besides, everyone agreed it would make the transition easier, less drastic.

However, the one thing no one could determine was when or how to tell Chris. It seemed that step was out of everyone's realm of expertise. No one wanted responsibility for scarring the precious child for life by going about this all wrong.

"What exactly does she know about her father?" Harm finally asked as the adults sat in the living room over coffee.

"Very little. We were intentionally vague. When Jordie died, we decided to give her the photo of you and Jordan together, but all we ever told her about it was that you were her mommy's special friend. I suspect that's why she felt so comfortable with you from the beginning. Well, that and the obvious," Ray shrugged.

"Has she ever asked about me?"

"Not as often as you would think. Since she doesn't ever remember having a mom, having grandma and grandpa seemed the norm to her. We were concerned that when she started pre-school last year it would spur on questions, but she must have been too young, because they didn't. She wasn't at school very long this year when my wife passed on. We simply haven't had to deal with it." They had dreaded the time when Chris would start asking questions about her father, neither one of them sure how to explain never telling Harm about her.

"Not often means she must have asked something?" Mac voiced what she was sure Harm would have if the entire situation weren't so personally consuming.

"Well, once she asked if she had a daddy. Obviously we told her yes. She asked if he was in heaven like her mom, and we explained no, but he couldn't be with her now, but maybe some day soon he could. That seemed to satisfy her at the time. The only other time she asked, she startled us out of the blue. One day she ran into the kitchen and hugged my wife around her knees. She didn't do that very often. When Sally bent over to hug Chris and told her she loved her, Chris asked, 'Does my daddy love me?'"

"What did your wife answer?" Harm had a hard time swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

"She said, 'Very much'." Ray choked out, the memory breaking his heart. He didn't tell Harm that he almost picked up the phone and called him that day, despite his wife's wishes. If Chris had not simply accepted his wife's word at face value, and had pursued the issue, Ray would have definitely found Harm.

At least Harm could be thankful to Sally for that much. He'd had a nagging concern that perhaps she might have unconsciously imposed a negative opinion of Harm on Chris. In an odd way, this gave him somewhat of a clean slate to work with.

It was finally decided that Harm should invite Chris to spend the weekend at his place, a sort of trial run at parenting. It would be an excellent gauge of where their relationship stood and perhaps could help Harm decide when and how to tell her.

**Harm's car**

**Later that evening**

"You know what galls me? If they had just told me about her in the first place, I wouldn't have to be worried about scarring her psyche." Harm banged on the steering wheel.

"I know, but what's done is done." Mac shifted in the seat. Harm had pretty much been ranting about the situation since they'd left the Stevens' house, and she wasn't sure he was going to reach any viable conclusion before arriving at her apartment.

"It's not fair. I'm being asked to resolve a delicate situation that I didn't create."

Mac furrowed her brow and stared silently at the flustered lawyer. Dare she point out that he was indeed the one to 'create' the current situation? Not only by aiding in Chris' conception, but by placing his love of flying before the relationship he was having with Jordan.

Glancing in Mac's direction, Harm did a double take at her expression. "Okay, so maybe I had a little something to do with creating it, but you know what I'm talking about. If Jordan had told me from the beginning, things would be very different. For one thing, she might not even be dead." That thought weighed heavily on Harm. It was the first time he'd voiced it out loud, but not the first time he'd faced it. Had he not allowed his obsessions to control his life, he might have stayed at JAG and his relationship with Jordan could have run a very different course.

"Maybe." Mac hesitated wondering if she really wanted to ask what she was thinking. Probably not, she knew the answer.

"What?" Harm asked softly. He recognized the look on her face. He was fairly sure he knew what it meant, but he had to ask.

"Nothing." Mac shook off his question.

"Would I have married her?" Harm kept his eyes on the road. He wasn't sure he could have this conversation and look at Mac at the same time, especially, in light of yesterday's conversation. The last thing he wanted was for Mac to associate a marriage proposal with the arrival of a child. He couldn't afford to have her misconstrue his marriage goals.

"I didn't ask that."

"No, but that's what you were wondering."

"Maybe," she replied timidly.

"I'm not sure." That was another thing he had thought about. He had loved Jordan in his own way, but not enough to stay away from flying and probably not enough to ask her to marry him. On the other hand, he couldn't see not asking her if he'd known she was pregnant. Even if he'd gone flying anyway and she'd told him when he'd come home... "If I'd have asked her when I returned from flying, I doubt seriously she would have accepted." Harm voiced the rest of his thought out loud. Jordan's father made it very clear she didn't want him just because of the baby.

"But, you probably would have asked anyway?" she stated with certainty.

"Probably." He wasn't going to lie to Mac or himself. She knew him too well for that.

Mac stared out the window, fighting the unexpected wave of sadness that washed over her at hearing his words. He was right. She had wondered, but she wouldn't have asked, she'd already known what his answer was going to be. There was no way Harmon Rabb, Jr. would not have taken responsibility for his child and her mother. Had things been different, she'd probably have been invited over for an anniversary dinner once a year. Maybe throw darts with him and Jordan at McMurphy's. Her heart broke a little as the image flitted through her head.

After a few long minutes of drawn out silence, he glanced to check on Mac. Even though she was looking out the side window, Harm could see what he thought were the corners of a possible smile on her face. He couldn't quite make sense of it. "Mac?"

When she shifted to face him, Harm could see he'd been right. A hint of a smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Did I miss something?" His eyes looked back to the traffic ahead, even though he wanted to see her face. It wouldn't do them much good if he drove them off the road.

"That's why I love you." She turned back towards the window. Memories of her years with Harm flooding her thoughts. Jordan was gone, and sweet little Chris was now part of Harm's life. He was offering her a chance to be part of it, too. Nothing else mattered in the end.

"Excuse me!" Harm almost slammed on the brakes. He could hear Mac almost chuckling under her breath at his reaction.

"Harmon Rabb, you are the most honorable, noble man I have ever known. From me to Coates, to Mattie, to every stray veteran you have ever met – you have to be everyone's 'knight in shining armor', but I love you for that." Her hand reached over and dropped softly on his leg. "I wouldn't have expected anything less from you with Jordan. That's a good thing."

Mac watched him carefully as he thought about what she'd just said.

"You're the best man I know, and Chris is lucky to have you for a father."

Harm wanted to say something but was finding it impossible now that all the air had rushed from his lungs. Placing his hand on hers, he squeezed as tightly as he could. "Thank you." He wasn't sure if he was thanking her for loving him, for understanding him, or for just being the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world, but whatever the reason, nothing else seemed to matter anymore. Sarah Mackenzie loved him.

**Chapter 16**

Harm had walked Mac to her door, but didn't accept her offer for coffee. It had been a very long day, and an even longer evening. It just seemed right not to tempt fate further and call it a day.

The next couple of days passed in a flash. Harm and Mac sat down at lunch the following day with Bud and told him the entire story. Bud immediately called Harriet to share the news. Once all the 'Oh, my Gosh' and 'Congratulations' were over, Harriet invited Harm, Mac and Chris over for a barbecue Saturday afternoon. She was bursting at the seams wanting to see Harm's little girl.

Harm and Mac took Chris to dinner Thursday without Ray to a place called Chuck E Cheese. Even though Harm was hoping to teach Chris the joy of proper diet, he accepted the fact that at four, a pizza restaurant with an oversized rat and a play area would be considerably more entertaining to her than Ho's Organic Noodle House.

She had gotten all excited about going to a barbecue someplace with small children. Much to their surprise, when Harm asked if she'd like to stay with him Saturday night after the barbecue, she was enthusiastically in favor of the idea, something Harriet had warned them not to expect from a four year old. Most children that young suffered from a sort of separation anxiety and would need to be taken home before making it through the night.

By Friday night, Harm was pacing like a caged lion. Having Chris stay over shouldn't be such a big deal and yet so much seemed to be hinging on it. Originally he had planned to have her over Friday as well as Saturday night, but Harriet suggested two nights might be a bit much and perhaps it would be better to start slow with one night and see how it went from there. Harm quickly came to realize that Harriet was going to be a very important asset over the next few months.

"Maybe this will help." Mac handed Harm a cup of herbal tea. She'd tried talking to him. She suggested watching a movie, and at one point she even considered certain more...physical activities, but didn't have the nerve to follow through. Finally giving up, she'd been watching him pace from the kitchen for twenty minutes.

"I'm sorry. Thanks." Harm accepted the proffered cup and took a seat. "Maybe a movie wouldn't be such a bad idea after all?"

"Chris loves spending time with you. Tomorrow will be just fine. It won't be any different than any other day you've spent with her." Mac took a sip of her tea.

"I know that, and you know that, but my nervous system doesn't seem to know that," Harm teased.

"Finish your tea. Do you want to watch that movie? It's getting late, and I don't want to leave you alone in this state all night."

"Then don't leave me." Harm raised a suggestive eyebrow.

Mac merely rolled her eyes at him before taking another sip of tea. If he only knew how tempting an offer that was.

"You can't blame a guy for trying." Shrugging casually, he flashed an impish grin.

They managed to watch only half of Dead Poet's Society bfore Mac was unable to stop yawning.

"As much as I hate to say this, either you go home now before it gets any later, or you're staying here tonight." Harm leaned forward and turned off the TV.

"As tempting as you make that sound," Mac wrinkled her nose at him, "if I'm supposed to be dressed in clean clothes and ready to go first thing in the morning, I'd better go home. Are you picking me up before or after Chris?" Mac picked up her purse and started for the door.

"Before if you don't mind. Say, nine o'clock?"

"Done." Smiling, she leaned forward a bit and kissed Harm on the cheek.

Harm chuckled at the chaste gesture, "Remind me never to offer to let you stay again."

"Night." She brushed her fingers across his cheek. "Try and get some sleep."

**Saturday afternoon**

**Roberts' house**

Harriet softly patted Nicole's back before setting her down in the bassinet. She could hear the hustle of activity as her sons scurried down the stairs to answer the now dinging doorbell.

"They're here," Bud whispered into the doorway as he passed by.

Chris stood between Harm and Mac, her weight shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, her tiny hands tugging on the adults as she moved.

Harm and Mac glanced down at the little girl, then up at each other, waiting for the front door to open. Neither could resist smiling at the bundle of excitement.

"Nice to see you, sir," Bud announced loudly, swinging the door open while each of the boys hid behind a leg.

"Thanks for the invitation." Harm followed Mac and Chris into the spacious home.

Harriet quickly made her way down the stairs. "Sorry for the delay. I was putting the twins down for their nap. You must be Chris?" Squatting down to the child's eye level, Harriet extended her hand to the little girl.

"Yes, ma'am," Chris replied softly.

"Oh, Harm, she's darling." Harriet stood back up. "AJ, why don't you take Jimmy and Chris out to the swing set."

Without a word, AJ took Chris' hand and scurried off towards the kitchen.

"Why don't you guys head into the other room, and I'll get us something to drink." Noticing the concerned look on Harm's face she added reassuringly, "Don't worry, the yard is perfectly safe. The new swing set should keep them busy for hours. The damn thing cost more than my living room furniture."

"Gee, something else to look forward to." Harm rolled his eyes and followed Bud and Mac into the family room.

"Ah, already learning about the financial joys of parenthood," Bud chuckled.

"We're thinking about buying a house." Harm took a seat next to Mac on the sofa.

"You are?" Carrying in a tray of lemonade with glasses, Harriet tried very hard not to grin. She was fairly sure Harm hadn't noticed he'd used the pronoun 'we', as in he and a certain marine.

"My mom suggested it. It makes sense. Then Chris could have a yard with a swing like that." Grinning coyly he added, "Well, maybe not quite like that, but you know what I mean. My neighborhood is no place to be raising children, and my apartment is great for a bachelor, but there isn't any extra room for a four year old, not even a spare broom closet."

"Have you started looking yet?" Harriet set the tray on the table, and began pouring the drinks.

"I'm working on narrowing down the options for neighborhoods. Any suggestions?"

"Well, the schools here are wonderful, and then we'd be close enough to help out. That is, if you want us to." Harriet handed Harm his glass.

"What about daycare options?"

"We used to use one close to JAG. It made more sense to me to be close to the office for an emergency than close to the house. I can give you the name if you want," Harriet offered. "When do you get custody of her?"

"Thank you. If you guys can recommend it, it will save me the trouble of checking it out. As for custody, we haven't figured out how or when to tell her, never mind when she'll come live with me. We followed your advice, and she's spending one night tonight, sort of a trial run."

"That's a good idea. Ease her into spending more and more time with you," Bud nodded.

"That's what we thought," Mac interjected.

Once again Harriet contained the urge to burst into a smile. She was delighted to notice Mac having an obvious role in the situation.

The afternoon passed by with pleasant conversation and lots of noisemaking. Three children and two infants made for anything but a quiet afternoon. When Harm and Bud took the older children out for ice cream, Harriet finally got the opportunity for girl talk she'd been waiting for.

"Nicky is more patient than Mikey. If you'll hold her while I feed him, then we can switch off."

Mac nodded taking the little bundle into her arms. She was absolutely amazed at how tiny the newborn babies were compared to when AJ and Jimmy were born.

Settling comfortably into the rocking chair, Harriet adjusted her shirt as she spoke to Mac. "Harm seems to be taking fatherhood well."

"He's always wanted children." Across the room, Mac swayed with the baby.

"Chris seems to be taken with him."

"She is. She nestled up against him the first time she spoke to him." Mac hadn't removed her eyes from the small baby. Nicky had been staring quietly at Mac, taking in every nuance of her facial features.

"She also seems pretty fond of you. I thought for a few minutes there she wasn't going to go for ice cream if you didn't join them."

"Well, you know kids. Nothing is more important than ice cream." Mac glanced up for a moment to watch the baby nestled against Harriet's breast.

"I was pretty sure the ice cream would win, but you have to admit, it's rather fortunate that she's taken to you as her mother figure," Harriet smiled knowingly.

Mac's eyes sprang open wide. It hadn't occurred to her that perhaps Chris was using her as a substitute for the now absent grandmother.

"I...I'm not ...I mean..."

"Colonel, Mac, anyone with eyes can see. You guys are becoming a real family."

Looking down at the big blue eyes staring back at her, Mac felt a wave of emotion rush through her, just as she felt Harm's eyes on her.

Harriet watched silently as Harm walked up to Mac and dropped his arm around her shoulder. "Bud sent me up to let you know we're home. Chris seems pretty tired, maybe we should think about heading home now." Oblivious to Harriet's watchful gaze, "You look beautiful," Harm whispered softly before kissing her temple.

Drowning in the depth of his sea green eyes, Mac swallowed hard. Feeling the baby squirm in her arms, she looked down. Yes, maybe they really could be a family.

**Chapter 17**

**Mac's apartment**

**1930**

Harm pulled up to the apartment. He didn't like the idea of just dropping Mac off at the curb, but Chris was fighting heavy eyelids in the back seat, and he didn't want to drag her all the way upstairs just to turn around and come back down.

"I'm sorry I can't go up with you." Harm reached for Mac's hand.

"I understand." She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"Are we here?" Chris' sleepy eyes perked up instantly as she squirmed to unbuckle the latch on her seat belt.

"No, no, honey. This is my apartment. Keep the seat belt buckled until you get to Harm's." Mac reached around and waved her hand, silently motioning for Chris to hold off.

Chris' brow furrowed in confusion immediately. Within a few seconds, her lower lip took on a frightening twitch. "You're not staying, too?" her small voice squeaked out.

Harm's eyes widened in the same fear his daughter now felt. It hadn't occurred to him that she would be expecting the three of them to be together. Silently, his eyes pleaded with Mac for help.

Mac's expression was equally surprised. She had no idea what to do. When she felt Harm's grip tighten painfully on her hand, she spoke to Chris, but her eyes remained fixed on Harm. "If I'm invited, I would love to stay." Then she prayed she hadn't overstepped her bounds.

The sense of panic visibly washed from Harm's body. "Of course you're invited."

"Okay, why don't you two come upstairs with me and I can pack a few things for the night?" Mac smiled broadly to reassure Harm as much as Chris.

Pulling up the street a short distance, Harm parked the car and helped Chris out, holding her hand all the way up to Mac's door.

"Grandpa helped me pack my bag," Chris mentioned, once inside.

"You've got a very helpful Grandpa." Mac reached her hand out to escort Chris over to the couch.

"Mm hm, but I packed most of it myself. I brought my new pink pajamas with flying pigs, and I brought my blue pants with the blue shirt that has a butterfly the same as the pants, and I brought clean panties and socks, and I remembered my toothbrush, too!" She was clearly proud of having remembered that last article on her own.

"Do you know my favorite pajamas have cowboys on them?"

"They do?"

"Uh huh. How about if I bring my cowboy pajamas?"

"Okay? Are you going to bring a bedtime story?"

"A bedtime story?" Mac repeated.

"Grandpa said the Commander wouldn't have any so I should bring one. He almost didn't let me bring mommy's picture but I promised I wouldn't let it get broken."

"You brought your mommy's picture?" Mac asked, a little surprised she didn't have a favorite stuffed animal or some such toy.

"Grandma used to tell me that having mommy's picture near would remind me that even though mommy was in heaven, she was still close to me."

Harm watched the conversation evolve from the other side of the room, amazed at how naturally Mac communicated with his daughter.

"Does the Commander love you like my mommy?" Chris asked matter of factly.

That sense of panic that had risen franticly in the car had just raised its ugly head again. Both Mac and Harm were at a loss for words.

"Why do you ask that?" Mac forced herself to ask.

"Grandma told me the Commander was Mommy's special friend. When I asked her why, she said because he loved Mommy very much."

"Yes, he did." Mac felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. Harm on the other hand felt his lurch to his throat. The first thing that occurred to him during this conversation was that Chris was going to have to call him something other than 'Commander'. The next thing running through his mind was to plead with God that this line of questioning didn't chase Mac away.

"The Commander says you're a special friend, too, so he must love you too, right?"

Mac glanced quickly at Harm, unsure of what to say next. Startled himself, Harm still managed to nod yes to Mac. Even if Chris didn't understand, Mac could.

"What else did your Grandma tell you about the Commander?" Mac begged the question, still unsure of how to answer, but amazingly reassured by Harm's telling nod.

"She said if anything ever happened to her and Grandpa that the Commander would love me as much as Mommy and he would take good care of me."

"She told you the Commander loved you?" Mac was a little surprised at that.

"No, she said he would if he knew me cause I'm Mommy's little girl." Chris raised her tiny hand to cover a lazy yawn.

Harm stood frozen, unsure if he should approach Chris and say something or just let Mac handle it for now. Slowly, he stepped closer to the sofa. Squatting down between them, Harm searched, no prayed for the right words.

"You're Grandma was a smart woman. She was right. I did love your mommy, very much. She was very special to me. I was very sad when she died."

"That's what Grandma said." Chris tried to hold back another yawn.

"You look sleepy. I'll go help the Colonel pack her things so we can get going. I do have something else I want you to know."

"Uh huh," she nodded.

"I love you because you're you." Harm squeezed her knee. A surge of sheer elation rushing through him as the miniature Rabb smile spread sleepily across her face, before another yawn overtook it.

"You stay here on the sofa." Mac brought Chris one of her dinosaur books to look through. Smiling at Harm, Mac gestured with her nose towards the bedroom door. "Let's go pack my things."

"Sure," he nodded. "You need anything else, honey?" he asked Chris before leaving the room.

"No, thank you." She was perfectly contented looking at all the pictures. Harm couldn't help smiling to himself. Already she reminded him of Mac in so many ways.

Waiting for Harm to step into the room, Mac closed the door quietly behind him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I have a lot more to learn about Chris and her relationship with Grandma."

"Those were some tough questions. You handled them really well," Mac smiled proudly.

"You too. Thanks." Harm withheld the urge to pull her into his arms and thank her properly.

"What about tonight? Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah. I can't thank you enough for being willing to do this. It just never occurred to me that she and I have never been out anywhere just the two of us. I guess she had no reason to know you wouldn't be there."

"Well, if you're sure you don't mind, I'm glad to help." Pulling a small bag from her closet, Mac quickly began tossing things in while Harm sat on the bed watching.

"Don't forget the cowboy pajamas. My favorite," Harm teased.

Slapping him on her way to the bathroom for her toiletries. "Don't let this go to your head, flyboy."

A few minutes later Mac was packed and ready to go. "Come on," she gestured, opening the bedroom door.

Harm practically knocked Mac over when she stopped short in front of him.

Turning around, Mac shushed him with her finger. Chris was curled up on the sofa sleeping soundly.

"Doesn't look like we're going anywhere tonight," Mac sighed. "Why don't you run downstairs and bring her bag up. At least we can have clean clothes for her in the morning."

While Harm went for Chris' bag, Mac brought out a blanket and pillow. She pulled the clutched book from Chris' little arms and set it on the table. Taking off her shoes and sweater first, Mac placed the pillow under her head and settled the blanket over her.

"Is she going to be okay there?" Harm whispered, quietly closing the front door behind him.

"Well, I could put her in bed with me, but I think the couch is more suited to her size than yours." Mac kissed Chris on the temple and stood up. "We can watch TV in my room." Mac walked passed him unaware of Harm's sudden pallor.

Setting the bag down by the door, Harm swallowed hard. This was going to be a LONG night.

**Chapter 18**

Mac was already lying on the bed, flipping channels when Harm walked into the room. He was at least relieved to find her still fully dressed. He hadn't thought about it, but 2110 was a little early for two full-grown adults to go to bed.

"Anything good on?" he asked.

"Not really. I think I'm going to read. Pick whatever you like." Mac tossed him the remote control, and rolled over to open the drawer of her nightstand, unknowingly giving Harm an ideal view of her six.

"Uh, thanks." As long as they stayed fully clothed, and he stayed on his side of the bed, all should be fine. Now if he only believed that.

At 2315, Mac stretched and yawned rather loudly.

"I think I've had it for tonight. Mind if I use the bathroom first?" Mac stretched one more time before getting up from bed.

"Sure. I didn't bring my toothbrush or anything so I'll just strip and climb into bed."

"I have an extra." Mac popped her head out of the bathroom and tossed him a new toothbrush. "I'll be finished in five minutes."

True to her word, five minutes later she was done. "Your turn." Mac pulled back the sheets and climbed into bed as though this was an every day occurrence.

Somewhat out of sorts, Harm managed to brush his teeth and make his way back to bed without doing or saying anything embarrassing. With his back to Mac, he stripped down to his boxers and quickly climbed under the covers.

"Good night," Harm called over his shoulder, afraid to look at her.

"Sleep well," Mac answered back, reaching over and turning out the lights.

It felt like it had taken forever, but Harm finally fell asleep only to be awakened by a soft rustling sound.

"Commander." Chris' small voice whispered over him.

Opening one eye, Harm could barely make out the small form by the bed.

"I need to use the potty." Chris leaned more heavily on the bed.

Sitting up, Harm turned on the light and reached for Chris' hand. "It's this way," he muttered, not yet having noticed the tear stains on her cheek.

"What's wrong?" Mac's sleepy voice filled the room.

"Sorry. Potty run." Harm turned on the bathroom light and nudged Chris in the right direction. "Do you need anything, honey?" he asked her.

"Uh uh," she mumbled quietly. "Will you wait for me?"

This time, both Harm and Mac noted the slight trace of fear in her voice.

"You bet I will." Harm smiled down at her, his eyes barely open.

When Chris had closed the door behind her, Harm turned to Mac. "What time is it?"

"02:37"

"Oh." Harm tried to force his eyes open. "Did she sound scared to you?"

"Yeah." Mac threw the covers back and got out of bed.

"You don't have to get up too."

"I know." Mac tried to smile at him but her face was still asleep.

Slowly opening the door, Chris peeked her head out first.

"Are you okay, honey?" Mac leaned down to her height.

"It was dark," she answered quietly.

"I bet it was. What do you say if we turn on the kitchen light for you?"

"Thank you." Her voice was still a little shaky.

"Hey, what's this?" Mac wiped the almost dry tears from the little girl's cheek.

"I didn't know where you were," she replied timidly.

"But you do now?" Mac nodded.

"Uh huh."

Taking Chris' hand, Mac walked her out to the living room. "Would you please turn on the kitchen light for her?" Mac asked Harm, pointing at the kitchen with her nose.

Harm nodded his head and quickly flicked the switch, shedding a dull light into the living room.

"Is that better?" Harm asked.

"Uh huh," Chris nodded.

"And you know where to find us if you need us?" Mac continued.

"Uh huh."

"Are you going to be alright now?" Mac tucked her under the covers again, lightly brushing her fingers across Chris' forehead.

"Uh huh." Chris' eyes began to fall closed with Mac's soothing ministrations.

"You're sure?" Mac nodded knowingly at Harm. Still gently caressing her temple.

"Mm," was the only small sound Chris managed to make before falling off to sleep again.

Quietly they padded their way back to bed.

"She should be okay now." Mac tried to reassure Harm.

"I don't think I've ever seen her cry." Harm pulled the sheets back and slid under the covers.

"You still haven't," Mac chuckled, climbing into bed.

"Still..." Harm trailed off.

"Don't worry about it. Try and go back to sleep." Mac turned off the light. "Night."

"Good night." Harm fluffed his pillow for good measure, but worrying about Chris left him wide awake.

"Are you okay?" Mac asked over her shoulder. She could feel how tense he was, despite the distance between them.

"Yeah."

"You sure?" Mac turned over, facing his back.

"I don't like it when she cries." Harm rolled over, not expecting to find Mac quite so close to him.

"You'll have to adapt at some point. This was just a few tears. What will you do when you get an honest to goodness downpour?"

"I don't know." Harm reached forward and brushed a lock of hair away from Mac's face.

Mac let her eyes fall closed, enjoying the momentary feel of his touch.

"You were great with her." His hand dropped down to cup her cheek.

"I was glad to help." Mac's eyes remained closed, her heart beginning to race at his continued caress.

Harm's fingers traced the edge of her cheek, sliding past her chin, down her throat, before he dropped his hand to the bed.

Mac reached up and laid her hand on his.

"She's a good girl." She gently squeezed his hand.

"Uh huh." Harm weaved his fingers in hers, his thumb drawing lazy circles on the back of her hand.

The simple gesture of his finger caressing her hand was slowly bringing her simmering need to a more fervent boil. Did she dare move, say something, anything to show him how she really felt, what she wanted?

Harm swallowed hard, savoring every second of their unique closeness and yet wanting so much more, but not daring to ask.

Both were afraid to move, to even breathe, neither wanting to break the spell. With only the delicate glow of the streetlamp shining through her window, there was just enough light in the room for the two pairs of eyes to remain helplessly locked in each other's gaze.

Shifting his weight up onto one elbow, Harm leaned in a little more closely.

"Mac." Her name came out in a low, husky, whisper that sent chills down her spine.

"Yes." The desire burning in her heart kept her voice soft and sultry.

"I...I" He wanted her, he needed her, and he desperately wanted to tell her, to show her how much he loved her, but he just couldn't find the words. Closing the final distance, Harm's lips fell lightly on hers.

The barely there kiss sent sparks trickling throughout both their bodies. What Harm tried to keep as a simple good night and thank you to show her how much he cared, was bringing him dangerously close to succumbing to the passion building inside. The mere feel of her lips against his, of her fingers entwined with his, was more powerful than any experience he'd ever shared with another woman.

"I love you so much, Mac." Without any further thought or fear, once more his lips gently descended on hers, trying to tell her all that he couldn't find words for.

**Chapter 19**

**Mac's Apartment**

**Next Morning**

Mac was basking in the pervasive warmth of Harm's strong arm draped lovingly across her and his large body pressed up snuggly beside her, when she was overcome by the feeling she was being watched. Opening one eye, the sight of a very quiet little girl standing against the wall, tightly hugging a dinosaur book brought an immediate smile to Mac's face.

"Morning," Mac mumbled.

"Good morning," Chris answered meekly.

Wondering why Chris was standing there, Mac supposed she could be hungry, or she could simply not want to be alone. Shifting to sit up, Mac was reminded of her very naked state when she felt Harm's arm tighten possessively across her bare abdomen.

Pulling the sheet snugly up to her chin, "Uh, would you like some breakfast?" By now both of Mac's eyes were clearly open as her brain scrambled for a way out of this slightly embarrassing predicament.

Silently, Chris nodded her head yes.

"Okay." Mac started to move again, only to be interrupted by the sound of Harm mumbling.

"Stay... too early... don't need food...need you."

Great! Harm picked one hell of a time to become a sleep talker.

"You take the book and go wait for me on the sofa. I'm going to brush my teeth and be right out." Mac nodded her head yes, hoping the child would agree without an argument.

Though somewhat hesitant, Chris nodded her head as well, and scurried out the bedroom door.

"Okay, Papa!" Mac rolled over and smacked Harm in the shoulder. "Your daughter is up, and she's hungry."

Harm was half asleep, and very little of what Mac had said was registering. Flinging his leg over her, he hooked his knee around hers pulling her in closer.

"Not now! Harm, we have to get out of bed. Chris is waiting." Wishing she didn't have to push him away, Mac squirmed out of his grip. "Let's go, sailor. Up and at'em." Hopping out of bed, she quickly threw on her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and headed out the door. Hesitating momentarily under the frame, she wondered if she'd had the good sense to close the door last night.

Finding Chris waiting patiently on the couch, Mac smiled to herself. She really was a very good little girl.

"How do pancakes sound?" Mac clapped her hands enthusiastically, pleased to see Chris' face light up. "Good. Do you want to help?" Holding out her hand, Mac and Chris headed towards the kitchen.

A few minutes later Harm strolled groggily into the kitchen. Perched in the doorway, he silently watched his two ladies working on breakfast. Chris stood on a chair in front of the counter, while Mac subtly assisted from behind the chair.

"Did you sleep okay?" Mac poured milk into the bowl and handed Chris the spoon.

"Uh huh. It was better with the light on."

Pushing the chair Chris was standing on a little closer to the counter, Mac helped her get a better grip on the spoon. "I'm glad. You're doing a good job."

"I love pancakes. Grandpa says they were Mommy's favorite too when she was little. Does the Commander like pancakes?"

"I'm sure he does." Mac hadn't noticed Harm standing behind them, still in the doorway.

"Do you think he likes me?"

"I'm sure he does." Mac wondered what was on her little mind.

"If Grandma is gone, does that mean the Commander is going to take care of me now?"

Mac's eyes flew open. How could someone so young be so perceptive? More importantly, what was she supposed to say now?

From the doorway, Harm's heart skipped a beat. It wasn't fair to leave Mac answering the tough questions.

Stepping up next to Mac, he kissed her softly on the lips before bending slightly and kissing Chris on the top of the head. "Would you like me to?"

Shrugging, Chris looked at Mac quickly before looking back at the bowl.

"Well, no matter what, I will always be here if you need me." Harm wondered if there was any way she could possibly understand.

"That's what Grandma used to say, only now she's gone, and I think Grandpa misses her. Do you like pancakes?"

"I most certainly do." Harm was slightly taken aback by the quick change of subject, but then again, she was only four. He was probably taking her question more seriously than she was. Maybe it was best to drop it for now. "I hope you're making plenty. I worked up quite an appetite last night." Harm winked mischievously at Mac.

After breakfast, Mac got a big bubble bath going and left Chris playing while she and Harm sat in the living room drinking coffee.

"How much do you think she knows?" Harm set his cup on the coffee table.

"It's hard to say. She's pretty smart, and seems to have good instincts, but she's only four. Well, practically five."

"That's another thing. It's only a few weeks until her birthday. We should probably do something, get her something."

"One thing at a time, Papa," Mac chuckled.

"Mac what am I going to do?" Harm leaned back on the sofa.

"I really don't know."

"She's afraid to be alone with me."

"That's not true." Mac dropped her hand on Harm's leg.

"She goes to you first. She has since day one. I think the only reason she came to me last night was because she couldn't see you. When she was frightened by Abby, it wasn't me she turned to. It was you. When she was so happy with the slide, it wasn't me or even her grandfather she ran to. It was you. And last night would have probably been a total fiasco if you hadn't agreed to stay." A small grin tugged at one side of his mouth, not fitting the seriousness of the subject at all.

"What are you grinning at?" Mac frowned curiously.

"Last night." His grin spread to the other side of his mouth.

"Oh." Mac's grin instantly matched his.

"I love you, Mac." Harm reached for her hand and pulled her closer to him.

"I love you, too."

"I need a house."

"What?" Of all the things she'd expected Harm to say next, that wasn't one of them.

"I need a house. Mom was right. I need someplace for Chris to be comfortable with, someplace big enough for the three of us."

"The three of us?" Mac's stomach was doing early morning calisthenics.

"Yes, the three of us. Marry me, Mac?"

Gaping open mouthed like a fish, Mac sat up straight, and shifted away from Harm. He had been more clear of late about his intentions, but she hadn't expected this, not yet, not so soon. Finally closing her mouth and swallowing hard, she fought the twinge of doubt that crept up. Was he really asking because of her or because of Chris? Did it really matter? They'd been fighting this thing for years, long before Jordan, before Chris. What was the matter with her? Why was she always looking for a reason to break them apart?

"Yes," she heard her voice reply weakly.

Dragging her back in his arms, he kissed her with all the love and devotion he had. "Now. Today." His lips continued to caress and blend with hers.

"Harm." Mac pulled away from his hungry embrace. Resting her forehead against his, she took a deep, calming breath. Completely awed that he'd want her to be his wife so badly, Mac's fingers lovingly ran a trail down the side of his face before dropping to take hold of his hand.

"Firstly, we'd need a license, and it's Sunday. Last time I looked, city hall isn't open on Sundays. Secondly, your mom and a large handful of friends would shoot you if we just ran off and got married, and lastly, there are a lot more important issues to deal with about Chris first."

"Okay. Compromise. We'll talk wedding plans later. Today, let's go house hunting. We can take Chris and let her help us pick out a house."

Laughing loudly she agreed, "Okay, we'll go house hunting, sailor. I'll go get Chris out of the bath, and you check the paper for any open houses today." Shaking her head as she walked away, Mac couldn't stop chuckling. She really did love that man with everything she was, even if he probably was crazy.

**Chapter 20**

Chris was having a great time running through all the empty houses. For the most part, Mac kept looking at the size of the rooms and the amount of sunlight, and Harm examined the floorboards and ceiling cracks. So far, the one house Mac loved with lots of light, Harm merely grumbled at all the termite damage. Another house that Harm almost gushed over the updated kitchen and thermal windows, Mac fussed about how every room was only 12 x 12. Chris didn't seem to be very partial to any house in particular. She approached each one with the enthusiasm of an oversized doll house.

Heading back to the Roberts' house to retrieve Harm's wallet that had somehow fallen out of his pocket undetected the day before, Mac spotted a house for sale by owner.

"Shall we stop for one more?" she shrugged at Harm.

"Is it open?"

"Yeah, the sign says till 5pm. It's only 4:37." Mac read the quickly approaching yard signs.

"Works for me." Pulling up in front of the pale yellow, three story house, Harm shifted into park and leaned across Mac to take a quick peek through the window. "It looks nice enough," he nodded.

Watching his eyebrows wiggle approvingly, Mac couldn't help but smile to herself. How was it that he could always wrap her heart around his little finger with the mere motion of an eyebrow?

Barely in the front door, they could see down the hall to the bright kitchen, through the wall of glass doors, and more importantly, to the huge wooden swing set in the backyard. It wasn't as large as what the Robert's had just installed, but it was still an impressive structure. Harm and Mac glanced at each other sideways as Chris made a beeline for the patio doors.

"Chris, honey, stay here with us," Harm called to his daughter just as she reached the kitchen. All the other houses had been vacant so he'd allowed her free roam. This home was still occupied, and he didn't want her accidentally disrupting anything.

An attractive middle aged blonde woman popped her head around the corner. "It's perfectly safe if she'd like to play outside."

Harm turned fully to face Mac. Shrugging at her with one shoulder lightly, "I suppose it would be okay."

"I had that installed when we bought the house. My son swore to me he would play in that fort every day. I should have known better. It was over ten years before I could afford to replace the floor in the family room." The attractive woman shook her head at no one in particular, holding the door open for Chris.

"How long have you lived here?" Harm walked towards the kitchen.

"Almost fifteen years. I hate to sell it. Always thought my grandkids would be visiting me here. That's why we've maintained the swing set. I can only hope someone will eventually put it to good use. I shouldn't complain too much, though, my daughter and her friends did enjoy the swings." Closing the door and taking a step sideways, the owner of the home watched Harm's and Mac's expressions as they scanned the kitchen. There had been quite a few people traipsing through her home today. Most were just people killing time with an afternoon outing. A few were serious buyers, one or two who seemed interested, but there was something about this family that made Marjorie feel good. She loved her home and had hoped that whoever bought it would love it as much as she did.

"You're sure she'll be okay?" Harm asked wanting to look around further but afraid to leave Chris unsupervised.

"The yard is fenced, the swing set is pretty much childproof, and I'm sure by now Contessa is on duty," Marjorie smiled.

"Contessa?" Mac queried.

"Our German Shepherd, Contessa Manana. I'm willing to guess, without looking, that she's sitting under the fort watching your daughter on the swings." Crossing her arms and her ankles, Marjorie leaned back against the wall and waited as Harm and Mac glanced out the window, a silly grin spreading across their faces. "Told you." Marjorie laughed proudly. "Tessa helped raise four kids. I think she misses the younger ones."

Feeling somewhat reassured, Harm stepped into the dining room. Checking the corners carefully for cracks, and the vents for any signs of difficulties, Harm was startled when Mac grabbed his arm tightly.

"What?" he whispered.

"Chris isn't afraid of dogs, is she?" A look of total panic washed over Mac's face. Not waiting for an answer, she turned on her heel and rushed to the backyard. Harm following closer than her shadow.

Not sure what had frightened the young couple, Marjorie scrambled out from where she had been trying to watch inconspicuously, curious as to what had happened.

Mac was halfway down the back steps when she spotted Chris on the ground not far in front of her. It took a few minutes before she was able to decipher the tangle of fur and child enough to recognize the loud shrills were laughter not tears. Contessa was on her back, all four paws up to the wind. Chris was rubbing and scratching the dog's tummy, laughing hilariously at the one rear paw that was beating against the ground with the same rhythm that gave Bambi's loveable rabbit friend the name Thumper.

"What happened?" Marjorie asked, slightly alarmed by the couple's reaction.

"Nothing. Sorry to have worried you." Mac didn't feel like explaining to a total stranger why neither she nor Harm knew enough about this child to know if being left alone with a large dog would be a problem. "Let's just finish looking at the house," she nodded awkwardly at Harm.

Strolling more quickly through the house than they might have otherwise, both still managed to take note of what a spacious, comfy home it was. The Master bedroom in particular was unusually large for an older home.

"We decided we needed a haven with four kids underfoot." A soft voice carried from the hallway. "It used to have a sun porch, but we incorporated it into the room ten years ago. That's why we have walk in closets. The bathroom was already fairly large, we simply updated it to our liking." The more Marjorie watched this couple walking about, the more she liked them. The only thing she hadn't been able to figure out was why neither of them wore a wedding ring.

"If I may be so bold, why are you selling?" Harm asked.

"My oldest child decided to go to the University of Texas in Austin. Unknown to most people, it's one of the top fifteen universities in the world, but the tuition is much more affordable than Stanford or an East Coast school. The other three kids followed suit. Now I have three children living in or around Austin. My youngest graduates next year, and shows no signs of wanting to move home. The real clincher is I have my first two grandbabies due in the next few months and both daughters bought new houses in Texas."

"I see," Mac smiled.

"Texas hill country isn't a bad place to retire. I understand Sandra Bullock lives there." Marjorie rolled her eyes laughing quietly.

Marjorie chatted a little more about Texas and gave Harm and Mac some additional information on the house as they walked back to the kitchen. Chris was still playing happily with the dog. Harm wasn't quite sure who was chasing whom. Either way, he hated to break up the fun.

"Chris, it's time to go. Your grandfather is probably wondering where we went," Harm called out into the yard and waited momentarily for Chris to join them. He thanked Marjorie for her time, took a sales sheet off the counter top and the three headed off to their next stop.

"Did you see the dog?" Chris asked enthusiastically.

"Uh huh," Harm nodded.

"Grandma didn't like dogs. Grandpa tried to talk her into a puppy once at the county fair. Did you see her foot thumping? Just like Thumper," Chris giggled and carried on with tales of the dog and her grandmother. She stayed in the car with Mac telling her all about her exciting backyard adventures while Harm quickly popped in and out of the Roberts'.

By the time they reached her grandfather, Chris still hadn't run out of stories about the dog. Harm couldn't ignore the overwhelming urge to see her squeal with delight over her own dog. Suddenly house hunting didn't seem like such a daunting task after all, at least not compared to making a four year old happy. Harm had so much to work out, and he still hadn't figured out when or how to tell her the truth. Damn, Jordan!


	3. Chapters 21 thru 29

**Chapter 21**

"Great timing. Dinner's on the table." Ray kissed Chris hello and nudged her towards the dining room. "You can stay?" Not waiting for an answer, he turned from Harm and Mac, leading the way. "How'd it go?"

"Fine. At least, I think so," Harm chuckled, thinking Ray would have made a good CO. Somehow refusing his request felt as though they might be disobeying a direct order. Mac smiled in agreement.

"I'm thinking of buying a house," Harm continued. "I realized that my apartment isn't really suitable for a little girl, and the sooner I find something, the better. That's why we're late. We stopped to look at a few places."

Ray's sister and brother-in-law were already seated at the table and helping Chris settle in. Chris hadn't stopped talking yet.

"Her name's Contessa, and her tail is so soft, and her one foot shakes just like Thumper!" Chris reported happily to her aunt.

Looking up at Harm, Shelly Stevens grinned. "Sounds like everyone had a good time." Turning back to face Chris, "Did you like staying with the Commander?"

"Uh huh, but I fell asleep on the Colonel's couch. I was a little scared when it was so dark and I had to go potty, but I found the Commander, and he showed me where it was. Then he turned on the kitchen light so I wouldn't be scared again. The Colonel and I got to make pancakes for breakfast. The Commander loves pancakes just as much as you said mommy did." Glancing at her grandfather, Chris paused a moment to take a bite of food, unaware of the silly grins on all the adults faces at her youthful exuberance.

"I liked the Colonel's house. She has nice cowboy pajamas. Can I have cowboy pajamas too, Grandpa?"

"Well, if we can find some in your size, I don't see why not." Ray was delighted with how everything was working out, and yet, at the same time his heart was slowly breaking at the realization that these moments with his granddaughter would soon be fewer and farther between.

"It's okay if we don't. I can always sleep without anything like the Colonel." Chris took another bite of food.

Harm's eyes flew open wide, while Mac on the other hand closed hers tightly willing away what she just heard.

A heavy silence fell on the room making it almost impossible to breathe, never mind think.

Looking suddenly puzzled, Chris asked, "How come you had them on when you and the Commander got up to turn on the light and tuck me in, but you didn't have them on when I came into your room before breakfast? Were they itchy? I don't want them if they're itchy?"

Mac's eyes were open now, and she was positive her face was beet red. She had absolutely no idea what to say, and was horrified at the thought that Ray might think she and Harm were blatantly carrying on in front of his young granddaughter.

"Well..." Mac turned to Harm, too embarrassed to face the other's at the table.

"Um..." Harm added.

"No one likes to sleep in itchy pajamas," Mrs. Stevens chimed in, thoroughly amused at Harm and Mac's obvious discomfort. "Maybe we should just stay with your Cinderella nightie?"

"Do you wear nighties, too?" Chris turned to Mac.

Still searching for her voice, Mac finally found the nerve to look up. Noticing the sly grin on Mrs. Stevens' face, she heard herself answer, "Sometimes, honey. Sometimes."

Harm was carefully studying Ray's expression. He was stone-faced and serious. It was apparent to Harm that Ray hadn't found the same amusement at Chris' indiscreet commentary as the Stevens' had.

"Did you sleep in your pants, too? Or did you put them on for breakfast like the Colonel?"

Harm didn't think this conversation could get any more embarrassing. Boy, was he wrong!

"Usually, I sleep in shorts, but it's not polite to let other people see what you sleep in, so I put my pants on for breakfast." It wasn't a lie. He usually did sleep in his boxers. He just didn't see the need to explain to everyone why he wasn't wearing them last night.

"I guess that's why you held the sheet up so high? Do you sleep in shorts too?" The last question was directed at Mac.

Mortified, all Mac could do was nod her head and mumble, "Sometimes." Could this conversation go down hill any further? Suddenly a rush of panic shot through her. Good Lord, what if she hadn't closed the door before tucking Chris in. What if the little girl heard or, God forbid, had seen more than she should have? This conversation could be only the tip of the iceberg. God help her, Mac had completely lost her appetite and was close to losing what little she had just eaten.

"Sweetie, we shouldn't talk about what people sleep in at the dinner table." Mrs. Stevens pressed. This conversation was snowballing out of control, and she wasn't interested in doing storm recovery.

"Why not?"

"For the same reason you don't sing at the table. There are just some things you don't do," Ray explained.

"Oh, another 'because' rule."

"That's right," Ray affirmed, his expression a little less tense.

"A because rule?" Harm ventured to ask.

"There are some things we have to do, even if they seem silly or stupid, just because everyone else has to." Ray explained sternly.

Harm nodded in understanding, thankful the 'because' rule was saving his six.

After dinner, Fred Stevens excused himself claiming he had some business to tend to before retiring for the night, and Shelly volunteered to help Chris with her bedtime routine. Harm found himself alone with Mac and Ray in the living room under heavy scrutiny.

"Allow me to explain," Harm started, taking a firm hold of Mac's hand.

"Please do." Somewhere deep down Ray recognized that all parents have sex at some point or other with their children in a nearby room, but for some reason he just felt this time it was just plain inappropriate.

"I had no intention of spending the night at the Colonel's, but when Chris found out Mac wasn't spending the night with us she got visibly upset, almost scared." Harm pondered that for a second. He had been so relieved at Mac's immediate offer of assistance that he hadn't given any more thought to why Chris seemed afraid to stay alone with him. Shaking off the thought, he refocused on reassuring Ray without heaping any more embarrassment on himself or Mac.

"When Mac offered to come spend the night too, Chris was immediately happy again. We needed to go to Mac's apartment to get some of her overnight things. While we were packing her bag, Chris fell asleep on the couch."

Ray watched Mac carefully as Harm spoke. He had noticed Chris was developing an unexpected attachment to Mac. He wasn't sure if this was just a natural desire for a young girl to have a mother figure, or if Chris was somehow transferring her affections for her grandmother onto Mac. He was going to have to give this some serious thought.

"We didn't want to disturb her so we stayed at the Colonel's. In the middle of the night Chris seemed a little startled at being in a strange place, but we showed her the potty, tucked her back into bed on the sofa, left the kitchen light on and waited until she was soundly asleep before returning to bed."

"You waited until she was asleep?"

"Well, yes. She seemed a little frightened. Neither of us thought is would be good to leave her alone and scared in the dark." That seemed awfully obvious to Harm. Surely, Ray didn't think he was that incompetent at fatherhood. Or was he thinking that Harm was so horny he wouldn't care about his daughter? Good grief, that's it! Ray must be thinking Harm was putting his own sexual desires above his daughter's best interest. How could he possibly explain to Ray what a unique and special thing last night was? Sighing heavily, Harm prayed for wisdom.

"Then she didn't actually 'see' anything?"

"Of course not!" Harm hadn't meant to raise his voice, but he was slightly offended at the implication.

"I thought as much when she didn't know what you two were wearing under the sheets. Still, didn't it occur to you that refraining from normal adult activities might have been more prudent under the circumstances?"

"Sir, sleeping in the same bed is not a normal activity for Mac and I. We've had to share quarters before, often under very adverse conditions, but we haven't been carrying on. Yes, our relationship is taking on a new direction, a more serious direction, but I assure you it is not my intention to be carousing carelessly around my daughter. I would have liked to think you would have learned at least that much about me by now. She and Mac both mean too much to me."

"I have, Harm. I just had to be sure." Ray smiled for the first time since they'd sat down to dinner.

"I hadn't intended to announce it quite this way, but..." Pulling Mac closer to his side, "Mac and I are getting married."

"Now, I see." Ray had to admit if he'd been waiting years for someone like Sarah MacKenzie, he might have been a little indulgent too. His smile shifted from reassuring to an almost impish grin. Yup, definitely would have indulged, too.

**Chapter 22**

"What's that they say about 'the mouths of babes'?" Harm turned on the ignition and slowly pulled away from the Stevens' home.

"I'm just glad she slept through the night. I couldn't have handled a four year old's perspective on what else we did last night." Mac rolled her eyes and dropped back against the headrest. What a night!

"I suppose I'll need to make sure there's a good lock on the bedroom door." Harm glanced over at Mac, a huge grin plastered on his face. He still couldn't quite believe last night had really happened.

"What do you think of that last house? The master bedroom had a nice lock on the door." Mac turned her head sideways grinning back at him. Just thinking about what he could be thinking was making her warm all over.

"I actually liked it. How about you?"

"I did too. Nice big rooms, lots of light, tons of extra space with a finished attic and basement, and we won't have to invest in a swing set. You know, now that Mattie has gone back to live with Tom, the way they have the attic fixed up for teenagers would not only be really great for when Chris grows up, but for when Mattie comes to visit."

"That's true, and Mattie loves to play pool. Do you think they'd be willing to sell us the pool table?" Harm was quickly forgetting the fiasco that dinner had been.

"You never know. Let me see that paper." Mac grabbed the stack of sales flyers off the dashboard. "Wheeeeew," she whistled. "Maybe we should have looked at the price before we looked at the house."

"That bad?"

"Maybe." Mac looked over the paper some more. "We don't have to offer the asking price."

"I doubt many people do, especially now that the economy is somewhat sluggish."

"Somewhat?" Mac shook her head. It was a lot of money, but it was a really nice house.

"Keep in mind, I can sell the loft. It's worth at least three times what I paid for it nine years ago. I've also got a little bit of money put away."

"Me too," Mac added.

"Do you really like it?" Harm stole a glance in her direction.

"I don't know. Maybe it was the love of the family living there now. Maybe it was Contessa..." Mac chuckled softly, "but, I really did like it."

"Well, if we can't make the numbers work on our own, I can always call Mom and Frank," Harm shrugged.

Mac nodded silently. This was absolutely amazing. Just a few short months ago her life was falling apart. She'd been diagnosed with a fertility stealing disease. The man she was trying to build a new life with, as difficult as that was, had been killed and then selfishly reappeared. She was targeted by a hired killer, and now, the one man she had always been in love with had asked her to marry him and share his child. The one she could never give him. Blinking her eyes harshly, Mac almost expected to wake up from this dream, home and alone.

"Penny for your thoughts? Or does inflation make it a dollar?"

"I love you." Mac shifted a bit and dropped her hand on Harm's knee.

He hadn't heard her say that often yet. Her voice sent waves of warmth rushing everywhere in his body. The sound of those words was something he was sure he'd never hear enough. "I love you, very much. I always have." Dropping his hand on hers, they rode the rest of the way in silence.

It had taken a little haggling, but after several days back and forth, and with a little extra help from Trish and Frank, they were finally able to settle on a price that everyone could live with.

Harm had put his mother off as long as he could, but now that he was a father, engaged, and buying a house, there was nothing Harm could do to stop her from visiting.

It had been almost three weeks since they first saw the house. Thankful for the light Sunday morning traffic, Harm and Mac arrived at the airport at 0830 hours. Trish's red eye had arrived exactly on time. Her luggage on the other hand was flying somewhere over Missouri, or was it Malaysia? The charming person behind the counter hadn't made up her mind yet.

"See to it that my luggage is delivered to this address when and if you locate it." Trish dropped a card with Harm's address on the counter.

"She seems to be taking this inconvenience rather well," Mac whispered in Harm's ear.

"That's what worries me," Harm whispered back, leaning closer to her ear.

"Okay." Trish rubbed her hands together, "Now that we've settled that. Where is my granddaughter? I need to teach her the fine art of shopping."

"Aha. I wondered why you weren't bothered they'd lost your luggage." Harm shook his head slowly and grinned at Mac. "Mom's a champion shopper. Give her the smallest excuse and it's like shooting a starting pistol. She's off and running."

"You haven't answered me, dear. Where is Chris?" Linking her arm with Mac's, Trish began walking towards the door with a huge smile on her face.

Harm noticed Mac momentarily tense at the unexpected gesture. He then saw his mom's other hand pat her reassuringly.

"You're going to call me Mom, not Trish. I always wanted more children." Trish winked at Mac. "So, where is she?"

"She's at her grandfather's. They're expecting us any time now," Mac answered, much more relaxed.

"Does she know I'm coming?"

"Yes, she's actually excited," Harm shrugged.

"Well, don't look so surprised," Trish chuckled. "You'd be amazed how many people like me." Shaking her head at her son, she tightened her grip on Mac's arm and strode in front of Harm, full speed ahead. "Come on, slow poke. Get the lead out," she called over her shoulder, pleased at hearing Mac giggle beside her. She'd waited years for this. She was going to thoroughly enjoy every minute of it.

**Three hours later **

**Pentagon City Mall**

"Has your mother always had this much energy?" Mac took a long sip of her almond latte, delighted for the chance to rest her feet.

"I don't know. I usually avoided shopping with her." Harm stretched his neck, exhausted from hauling all the bags around. "I'd have thought you'd be up to the challenge, that marine training and all. You are feeling alright?" Harm teased.

"I'm fine. Just worn out. Shopping with your mother isn't exactly part of boot camp training." Mac let the sides of her mouth curl up in a sly grin. "Did you notice that the sales lady at Nordstrom's was actually calling your mother Mrs. Burnett? You have to do mega shopping for them to pay attention to your name."

"That sounds like a legitimate description of Mom." Amused at the thought of his mom the 'mega shopper', Harm reached over to take Mac's hand. "She's waited a long time to spoil a grandchild. Maybe just this once we can let her go overboard? Later on we can lay down the law."

"You're just an old softie." Mac squeezed his hand.

"That wasn't what you said last night..."

"Harmon Rabb, you're incorrigible!" Mac smacked his arm, convinced she was flushing several shades of red.

Leaning over to kiss her, Harm was startled by the sound of a clearing throat. Still leaning into Mac, he turned his head sideways and looked at his mother with one eye.

"Here are a few more bags, dear." Trish flashed her teeth. Holding onto Chris with one hand, she handed Harm the new packages with the other.

"Let's see. This makes a department store, two dress stores, a toy store, a shoe store, and the chocolate shop. Have I left anything out?" Harm teased his mother placing the bags next to the already mounting stack.

"Harmon."

"Yes, mother." He feigned being properly chastised. A humorous glint shined in both their eyes as they momentarily relived any number of incidents from his childhood.

"Would you like something to eat, or drink, or would you like to shop some more?" Trish bent over to ask the grinning little girl.

"No, thank you." Chris' attention was wandering off behind Trish.

"No, thank you, you're not hungry?" Trish turned her head to see what had caught the little girl's attention. "Do you like books?" Her eyes were carefully scanning the Barnes and Noble store front.

"Yes, Ma'am." Chris turned her attention back to the nice lady.

"What if we leave these two party poopers here and you and I go looking in the bookstore?"

Chris' face lit up for the hundredth time that day as she shook her head yes.

"Those two are never going to tire." Harm rubbed his eyes, resigned to the idea that the mall might become his new home away from home.

"Surely, she must have some limit on her credit cards," Mac suggested. Understanding Harm's patronizing glare, "Okay, maybe not. Might as well bunker down for the duration," she laughed.

It wasn't long before Chris came rushing back, literally dragging Trish behind her.

Harm glanced up at his mom with one raised eyebrow.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little tired, but it's worth every minute." Trish returned her son's ardent stare before turning to Chris. "Show them what you got, honey."

"It's a dinosaur book." Letting go of Trish, Chris pressed the book proudly into Mac's hands. "It's not the same as yours, but it has lots of pictures!"

Mac felt the tears pooling in her eyes. Batting her lashes a few times, she took in a deep breath. She couldn't have felt any more flattered if Chris had been her own flesh and blood.

"It was the only thing she wanted," Trish shrugged.

"She helped me pick it out." Chris pointed at Trish and then turned towards her and stretched her arms around Trish's hips in a tight hug. "Thank you, ma'am."

Harm could see the tears welling up in his mom's eyes, too. If they weren't careful, he might have to start building an ark.

Dropping down to her height for a proper hug she said, "I'll have none of that 'ma'am'. Mac calls me Mom, and I'm not her mother. Since your grandma can't be here anymore to take you shopping and do Grandma things, what do you say you just call me Grandma, or if you like, Grandma Trish?"

Stunned at his mother's suggestion, Harm gulped audibly, glancing first at Mac, and then Chris. He still hadn't broached the question of parentage, or even what other name Chris should call him. Instantly, he was concerned Chris might somehow be upset at his mom thinking she was somehow trying to replace her grandmother. Ready to jump in if Chris showed even the slightest sign of being upset, Harm waited for her response.

Pressing her lips together tightly, Chris turned to Harm. Looking at Mac then back to him again, quietly she asked, "Is it really okay?"

Extending his hand to touch her shoulder he tried to assure her, "If you want to, it's okay." His slight smile didn't quite reach his eyes. There was too much apprehension in her voice.

Chris looked back at Mac for confirmation. Trish marveled at the silent communication taking place between the little girl and her future stepmother. Scrunching her nose, Mac nodded her head at Trish. "It's okay."

With the speed of a tomcat doing nine g's, Chris spun around and wrapped her arms around Trish's neck. "I like Grandma!"

**Chapter 23 **

**McDonald's restaurant**

**1810**

"I haven't had this much fun in years." Trish took a bite of her french fry.

"I can't believe you're eating at McDonald's," Harm chuckled.

"You are!" Trish snapped back.

"Touché," he acquiesced.

"Why does she still call you Commander?"

"Because I'm not quite as bold as you are." Shifting in his small seat, he grabbed hold of Mac's hand. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, drawing his strength from Mac. "Mom, it's complicated. She thinks she's pretending you're her grandmother. She has no idea you really are, and I don't want her pretending I'm her dad. I have to find the right way to explain it to her."

"Well, you'd better come up with something soon. I know it's been what, over a month or so since she appeared in your life?"

"More or less, yes."

"Well, she's obviously very comfortable with you both, especially Mac."

"You noticed, too?"

"I'd have to be blind not to have noticed. She needs a mother, Harm. What she needs is a real family, not a grandmother and grandfather, but a mother and father, and a house with brothers and sisters. And I'm not saying that because I want to hold a grandbaby, which I do." She glared at him pointedly between breaths. "You need to stop dawdling and take care of things. You've bought the house, you've proposed to the girl, now sit down with your daughter and FIND the words."

Harm looked over his mother's shoulder at the little girl playing in the ball pit. He knew his mother was right. He also knew he didn't want to screw this up. This wasn't the same as his relationship with Mac, or anyone else for that matter. He couldn't bear it if he somehow ruined that sweet little girl for life.

"I know, Mom. I'm trying."

"Well, try a little harder. She seems to have taken well to calling me Grandma. Maybe it won't be as hard for her to find out you're her Dad as you think." Eating the last of her french fries, "What do you say we blow this joint, and you show me your knew castle?" Trish teased playfully.

"Sure thing. Marjorie said to stop by any time this evening." Standing up, Harm kissed Mac on the cheek, then called Chris out from the play area.

Scanning the house as Harm pulled into the long driveway, Trish thought the house was even nicer than he'd described. "Oh, Harm. This is lovely," she commented, obviously impressed.

"Yeah, it's old, but it's been well cared for." Harm opened the car door for Mac, then his mother. Chris climbed out behind Trish.

"Are we going to visit Contessa?" she asked sweetly.

"I bet she's home." Harm held his hand out for Chris to grab hold of, then dropped his free arm around Mac's waist.

"Do you like this house?" Trish asked Chris.

"It has a big swing."

"When the Commander moves in are you going to come play a lot?" If Harm wasn't broaching the subject, Trish was fully prepared to start the way for him.

"Can I?" She looked at Harm.

"Of course you can." Harm smiled at Chris and then glared at his mom. He shouldn't be surprised. She's who he inherited his tenacity from.

"Will the Colonel be here, too?" Chris had learned to ask and not assume.

"Yes." This time Mac answered. For most of the day she'd let Harm and Trish do the majority of the talking, but this time she felt the need to participate. With all the chaos of buying the house, preparing for Trish's visit, and spending as much time as possible with Chris, she and Harm hadn't discussed wedding plans or dates. She was most definitely going to be a part of this, and she wasn't going to give Harm room to hedge.

Marjorie opened the door wide. "Come in. Nice to see you again."

Harm stepped into the house and around a box.

"Sorry about the mess, we're almost all packed up. The movers are coming next week to take everything down. If you want to start working on any of the rooms early, I'm sure it won't be a problem."

"That might be helpful. Thank you. Marjorie Field, this is my mother, Trish Burnett."

"Nice to meet you," Trish replied.

"Same here." Turning to close the door behind them, Marjorie continued, "Make yourselves at home. I'm going to finish packing a few things in the den. Contessa is in the backyard if anyone wants to play outside."

As usual Chris' face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Go on. I'm going to show Grandma around the house." Harm nudged her in the direction of the kitchen.

In only seconds, Chris had bolted out the back door and was wrestling in the grass with the playful dog.

"You realize you're going to have to get her a dog?" Marjorie commented.

"Among other things," Harm mumbled.

Trish nodded and ahhed at appropriate interludes, pleasantly impressed with the purchase. "Which is Chris' room?"

Harm looked at Mac then back at his Mom, "I don't know yet. Any one of these three." Harm waved his arm down the hallway at the second floor bedrooms.

"You haven't asked her?" Trish was incredulous. What was her son doing? Before Harm had a chance to respond, Trish was marching down the stairs, through the kitchen, and had opened the back door. "Chris honey, come here a minute."

Trish watched as the young girl reluctantly left the panting dog behind and scurried up the back stairs.

"Yes?" she asked softly.

"I need to know what you think about something." Taking her hand and starting back up the stairs, "We have to do a lot of shopping while I'm here for things to fill this house." Reaching the top of the stairs, "I need to know if you like any of these room better than the others." Trish walked past Harm and Mac, both gaping like fish, and into the first room.

"When you come to visit you'll want to have your own pretty room."

Chris looked around the large room. The walls were a cream color, almost yellow. There was a large window facing the front yard, and a wall of closets. Walking through the bathroom, the two came out in the next bedroom. This room was almost a mirror image of the other room only it was slightly narrower and longer. Coming out at the end of the hall they walked past the stairs. Harm and Mac now followed behind them.

The next room was a little smaller than the others, the windows wrapped around the back and side wall, overlooking the backyard.

"This used to be my youngest daughter's room." Turning off the light switch, Marjorie walked across the room, pulled both sets of draperies closed and pointed to the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.

Chris' jaw dropped to the floor as she looked up. "I like this room!" she told Trish.

"Very well, young lady. Then tomorrow we'll go shopping and start decorating your room!" Tossing her son a 'was that so hard' look, Trish and Chris made their way back down the stairs.

"I understand you have a birthday coming up?" Trish asked as they reached the ground floor.

"Uh huh. Saturday."

"Then I think we'll have to get you something extra special when we go shopping."

Joining up with Trish and Chris at the bottom of the stairs. "Are we ready to head out?" Harm asked, eyeing his mother carefully, concerned over what she and Chris were talking about.

"All ready." Trish answered, and Chris nodded.

Harm could tell his mother was silently plotting. He'd seen that look too many times before. When she was using all her energy to convince Frank to let her open the gallery it wasn't so bad, but when she was determined to hook Harm up with her best friend's daughter Cathy Fitzsimmons, all of Trish's plotting was almost the end of him. He was going to have to decide what to do about Chris and soon, because if he didn't, his mother most certainly would.

**Chapter 24**

Ray's eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw the parade of packages everyone carried in.

"You must be Mrs. Claus?" he teased.

"Trish Burnett. How do you do?" She smiled back.

They didn't stay long. Trish watched Harm tuck Chris in and read a bedtime story, her heart swelling with pride and joy. After only one day, the little girl was deeply entrenched in her heart.

Despite all the shopping they'd done for Chris, Trish still managed to accumulate a good haul of her own. After taking her, and her truckload of goodies to the hotel, Harm and Mac proceeded to his apartment for the evening. They'd been alternating staying at each other's homes, only on rare occasion sleeping apart. Mac was especially pleased with the perk of being able to sleep through the night. Sleeping was something she always did in short spurts. Now that she and Harm were together, Mac found herself sleeping straight through the night, sometimes even falling asleep early getting more than the suggested eight hours a night.

After the sleep over fiasco, they had decided not to have Chris spend the night again until they were in the new house. What they hadn't brought up again were wedding plans. Mac was starting to get a little nervous, but she hadn't felt the time was right, there was simply too much going on.

"I'm beat. It's been an incredibly long day, and I can barely keep my eyes open." Mac began unbuttoning her blouse on her way up the steps.

"Let me get a quick drink, and I'm right behind you." Standing in front of the fridge, "Would you like anything?"

"Nope. I've reached that age where I have to cut out late night drinks. Lately I've had to make too many middle of the night visits to the head, and I'm not a happy camper." Mac kicked off her shoes.

Harm flipped off the lights, and made his way up the stairs. Walking around to what was now his side of the bed, Harm began stripping. "That age?"

"Never mind, flyboy." Mac slipped out of her slacks.

Avoiding the temptation to tease her some more, "I know I keep asking this, but got any new ideas on what we should get Chris for her birthday? Saturday is creeping up quickly." Harm tossed his shirt into the hamper.

"You know, watching your mom shop till she dropped today, and then watching Chris in the yard with Contessa gave me an idea. Remember how excited she was to be able to go down the big slide at McDonald's?"

"Yeah." Harm kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his pants.

"Well, I think the fort is the right height for one of those long tube slides. She can still use the smaller one the set has, but we could add the long one to the other side. What do you think?" Mac pulled a t-shirt on over her head and sat down heavily on the bed waiting for Harm's reaction.

"I suppose that would be much easier than a puppy." Harm climbed under the covers.

"MUCH!" Mac laughed, snuggling up beside him.

Mac was almost sound asleep when she felt the rumble of Harm's chest. "Say that again," she mumbled.

"Since you did so good with the present, any idea how I'm going to tell Chris I'm her father?"

"Well, she already has an idea you're going to take care of her." Mac shifted to sit up. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be a quick conversation.

"She does?"

"Yeah, remember at my place the night she stayed over? She asked if you were going to take care of her now that her grandma was gone."

"Oh yeah, then she changed the subject and never said if she wanted me to." Slowly the memory was coming back to him.

"At least the Parkers helped set you up by telling her that you were very special to Jordan and loved her very much, that you would love and care for Chris, and that her father would love and care for her if he could. You're just going to have to make the time to connect the dots for her."

"You make it sound so simple," Harm sighed.

"Well, I think we've gotten very good at making things too complicated. Most people don't need almost nine years to make a commitment, never mind go on a real date." Mac tried to lighten things up a little.

"This isn't the same, and you know it."

"No, it's not, but that doesn't mean we can just ignore it forever."

"Or nine years." This time Harm was the one to interject humor, or at least try to. "Do you think I should tell her before Saturday?"

"I don't know. Has Ray said anything?"

"No, he's let me know he'll support whatever decision I make."

"This one is up to you." Mac leaned back down, snuggling into the crook of his arm.

"I know. Thank you for putting up with me."

"Any...time..." Mac mumbled into his chest. She was quickly losing her battle with sleep.

"I love you, marine." Harm kissed the top of her sleeping head and thanked God he was finally a part of her life.

**JAG Headquarters **

**Next day**

Trish made her way through the bullpen as though she'd been maneuvering it her entire life. Much to Harm's surprise, not a single person had stopped to question who she was. She had mastered early in life the art of walking into a place with such an air of owning it that most people rarely found the nerve to ask if she really did.

"Are you busy, dear?" Trish tapped on the doorframe.

"Mom!" Harm stood up quickly, "No one mentioned you were here." Giving her a quick hug, he pulled a chair out for her to take a seat. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to take Chris shopping?"

"I'm on my way to get her now. We're going to have lunch, too. I thought she might enjoy the gypsy tea room, sort of an oversized tea party."

Harm chuckled quietly. One way or another, his mother was going to bring Chris around to her sense of style.

"Harm, why isn't she in school?" Trish Burnett didn't believe in beating around the bush.

"Well, Ray pulled her out to come find me. Since things were somewhat up in the air about her immediate future, he didn't want to put her in one school to have to pull her out again." It had made perfect sense to Harm.

"Well, that might have been the case when they first moved here, but you are planning on taking care of her. You've bought a house. She should be registered in the school district for the new house, now." Trish's no nonsense motherly tone was coming out loud and clear.

Flustered momentarily by an instant resentment of being told what to do by his mommy, Harm realized almost as quickly that she was right. Starting school in his school district while she was still living with Ray was one more security block that she would be able to hold onto during the transition.

"You're right, Mom. I'll make some phone calls today and take care of it."

Trish smiled broadly at her son. She knew she'd raised him right.

Two days later, Chris was registered and starting afternoon kindergarten. The state had recently decided to gradually move the cut off date to turn five from the end of December back earlier and earlier. She had just made this years cut off date and Harm felt she'd be better off in kindergarten. It was a bit of a drive from Potomac to the new house, but since class started at noon, the drive wasn't a problem. Harriet would pick her up after school with AJ and then Harm would pick her up from Harriet's after work.

Even though she'd only been in class for three days, Aunt Shelly had gotten permission to send her to school with cupcakes for the class. Chris had come home bubbling with excitement. The minute Harm and Mac came through the door to pick her up, she began recounting the day.

"They sang happy birthday, and we had cupcakes, and they gave me cards, and the Teacher gave me a book, and Nancy gave me a flower, and ..." she was rambling on about so much that Harm didn't have the heart to stop her and tell her to take a breath.

"Can Nancy and Cathy come tomorrow too?" In only three days Chris had already made friends. Harriet had graciously offered to have a birthday barbecue at their house for Chris' birthday. Trish and Frank would be coming. Frank had flown in the day before. There was no way he was going to miss his granddaughter's birthday. Ray and his sister and her husband would be there as well.

"I don't know, honey," Harm started when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Too late, Commander. I already spoke to Nancy's mom, she'd be very happy to join us, and I left a message on the answering machine at Cathy's." Harriet leaned over and ruffled the pretty girl's hair.

"How'd you find them?"

"PTA directory. Very handy tool for parents." Harriet's tried to swallow her amusement.

"Thank you, Harriet. You're sure you don't mind?"

"When it comes to birthday's, the more the merrier."

Harm watched as Harriet helped Mac load up all of Chris' birthday goodies. He couldn't believe tomorrow would be the first birthday he'd spend with his daughter. So much had happened in the week since his mom had arrived. If everything went the way he planned tomorrow, so much more would come.

**Chapter 25**

**Saturday November 5**

**Roberts Residence**

**1630**

Everyone sat in the large family room watching Chris open her gifts. The children had spent a wonderful afternoon playing games, eating candy, cake and ice cream. The adults were even surprised when a clown showed up at the front door for an hour of unplanned entertainment. Eventually Frank had to fess up as the responsible party. Shrugging his shoulders, he meekly admitted, "Hey, as a kid I always wanted a clown at my party, finally got one."

Chris paid each gift due attention, thanking the giver profusely. When she got to the present from Mac and Harm, her eyes grew wide. "This is just like yours!"

Mac nodded her head, thrilled at the exuberant reaction. "It's the same dinosaur book I have. There's another present but it's at the new house. We'll go see it later."

The next gift was a small box from Grandma and Grandpa Frank. Chris looked thoughtfully at Frank before opening the box. "Oh, a Baby Born Doll!" Ripping the rest of the paper off more rapidly, the other two little girls rushed to her side to help her take all the different items out of the box.

"My heavens, it looks real!" Harriet joined in.

"I think that's why it's so popular. The girls love changing the diapers, feeding the bottle, all sorts of things. The doll, excuse me, baby, even laughs and cries tears." Mac rolled her eyes.

"She kept talking about it over and over at the toy store but explained that Grandpa had said it was too much money for a toy." Trish smiled, rather proud of herself for finding something that would make her granddaughter so happy.

"I suppose now you can open the next gift. It's from all of us." Ray gave Chris a box almost as big as she was, then pointed to himself, Shelly and her husband.

Chris opened the gift with the same enthusiasm she'd opened every present. "It's a stroller! OH! And a high chair! And a baby bed too!"

"It's called a cradle," Ray interjected, smiling at Trish and Frank. It had taken a little coordination but the grandparents had more fun than they'd expected to on their little shopping excursion for the best birthday gifts.

The Roberts' boys opted to play in the backyard, while the girls oohed and ahhed over every little thing with the dolls until their parents came to pick them up.

Meanwhile, the adults found themselves seated around the kitchen table chatting away, occasionally interrupted by a thirsty child, or the ringing doorbell of a parent coming to retrieve their offspring, until Mac looked up and said, "It's almost 6 o'clock. We should probably take Chris to the house and show her the last gift, then we can grab a bite to eat and take her home."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed the time," Trish chimed in.

"It probably would help if we made it home before you bring Chris," Ray chuckled.

Bidding their farewells, and thank yous, Harm showed everyone to the door, while Harriet and Mac did some major recovery work in the kitchen.

"You really don't have to stay. It's why we use paper plates at parties. The only requirement for clean up is a large trash bag." Harriet proudly held up a heavy duty, oversized, black, lawn and leaf bag.

Mac joined in the laughter. "Excuse me one minute. I'm going to go see a man about a horse."

"Sure." Harriet watched Mac walking to the bathroom. She couldn't remember ever noticing Mac use the ladies room more than once or twice when visiting, but this must have been the third or fourth time she'd seen Mac sneak away. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but something inside was nagging at her.

By the time Harm had all the loot stashed in the car, Harriet and Mac had left the kitchen and family room spotless.

"Thanks again, Harriet, Bud. This was very nice of you. Everyone had a wonderful time." Harm kissed Harriet, and followed Mac and Chris out the door.

It only took a few minutes to reach the new house. Harm pulled out his keys, searching for the latest addition. "Marjorie and Bill moved into a hotel yesterday. The movers will be picking all of this up on Monday." Turning the lock, Harm pushed the door open.

"Close your eyes," Harm told Chris, picking her up and carrying her outside. When he was only a few feet in front of the swing set, he put Chris down and took hold of Mac's hand. "Okay, open your eyes."

Scanning the set curiously, it was obvious to Harm and Mac the moment Chris spotted the big slide. Running immediately over, and sliding her hand along the side of the tube as though the plastic were made of precious gems, she looked up at Harm and Mac.

"My own big slide?"

"Yup, it's all yours. Anytime you want," Harm grinned, thrilled with the bright spark in her eyes.

The chill of the night air was beginning to set in earlier and earlier every day. After only a few runs down the slide, Harm suggested they go inside to show Chris something else. Squeezing Mac's hand for reassurance, the three soon to be family, moved past the boxes and furniture up to Chris' room.

Chris stepped into the room first, "Wow."

"You like it?" Mac knelt down to her height.

"It's the most beautifulest room I've ever seen."

The walls had been painted a very pail shade of Chris' favorite pink. A white wanescoating and a chair rail had been added to the lower half of the room to tone down the walls. The ceiling had been painted a beautiful pail blue with white fluffy clouds and the few scattered stars were replaced with glow in the dark constellations that would become more apparent once the lights were turned off.

Immediately, Chris ran for the bed. A bunk arrangement with the bottom bed pointing into the room. The remainder of the bed was a loft, with windows, and bookshelves all designed in the appearance of a country cottage. Originally Trish had intended to purchase the castle version for the room but when she and Chris walked briefly past the room displays on their way to the bedding department, Trish had noticed her granddaughter's attention seemed to gravitate towards the fairytale cottage.

The set came with a matching dresser and desk. The heavy drapes had been removed and replaced with simple roman shades in a bleached canvas. The top of the window was framed with a fabric-covered shelf on ornate brackets. Antique books, collectible dolls, and miscellaneous greenery along the shelf adding to the charm and color of the room.

Sitting down next to Chris, Harm picked up one of the nearby stuffed animals.

"You remember I told you that the Colonel and I are going to be getting married?" he asked.

"Uh huh."

"That's one of the reasons we bought this house." Harm paused to contemplate his next words. "We also bought it so you could have a room of your very own, anytime you want."

"I remember," Chris confirmed.

"Do you still want to come visit?"

"Can we stay here tonight?" Chris could hardly wait to get to sleep in her new bed.

Feeling somewhat reassured, Harm smiled a little brighter, "Well, not tonight, but soon."

"How soon?"

"The house still belongs to Mr. and Mrs. Field. Would next Saturday be okay?" Harm would have to see if they could move the closing up from next Tuesday. With the Field's all moved out, he didn't think it would be much of a problem.

"Okay," she agreed reluctantly.

"I need to talk to you about something else, too." Harm found himself squeezing the furry toy in his hands with more zeal than he'd intended.

"You know how your Grandma, not Grandma Trish, how she told you that your Daddy would love you if he knew you?"

Chris nodded her head yes.

"And how I would love you if I knew you?"

"Cause you're mommy's special friend."

Grudgingly, Harm nodded his head yes. He'd have preferred she recognized he loved her for her not for her mother, but right now, that special friend connection would probably come in handy.

"I like taking care of you. You're a very special little girl, very easy to love."

Chris waited patiently. It was obvious from the intense little look in her eyes that she had no idea where Harm was going with this. Then again, why should she?

"What would you think if I were your daddy?"

"You mean like Grandma, Trish?"

"No, I mean for real. Would you like me to be your daddy?"

**Chapter 26.**

Mac stood in the doorway watching, her fingers cramping from the strong grip on the frame.

"Would the Colonel be my mommy?" Chris' voice had dropped to an almost inaudible level.

Mac felt her stomach lurch to her throat. She was sure that wasn't the response Harm wanted, and was fairly sure he wasn't prepared for it either.

"Would you like that?" Harm hadn't expected that reaction, but he should have. Chris had been especially attached to Mac from the first day.

"I think so." Chris looked up at Mac, her eyes silently pleading for answers.

As she'd done so often, Mac smiled sweetly at the young girl and nodded her reassurance.

"When Mac and I get married, she'll be my wife and that would make her like your mommy. Jordan will always be your mommy, nothing will change that, but Mac already loves you like a mommy."

"And you love me like a daddy?"

Harm swallowed hard, nodding his head yes. He could see her trying to fit all the pieces together.

"Would I have to leave Grandpa for you to take care of me?"

"Not if you don't want to." There was no way Harm would forcibly take her away from her grandfather if she didn't want that.

"Is he going to go to heaven like Grandma?" Chris' lower lip pressed upward tightly in an attempt to hide the quiver.

"Someday, but not anytime soon." Harm couldn't stand it anymore and he pulled the little girl onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "Your Grandpa is a strong man who loves you very much. He's not going anywhere yet."

Mac watched as Chris laid her head against Harm's chest, her shoulders drooping sadly. Mac struggled to resist the urge to go sit on the bed beside them. Harm needed this opportunity to comfort his daughter without any intrusion from her. It was the first time she could remember Chris folding into Harm with such trust without looking around for her first.

"Can I go home now?" Chris mumbled into his shirt.

"Sure, baby. Sure. We'll stop and get some dinner and then take you home to Grandpa." Harm stood up keeping Chris in his arms and carried her past Mac, and down the stairs. He wasn't really sure what he expected, but his heart felt as though it was in a vise. He should have waited to tell her.

Chris didn't say much in the car, at dinner, or once they got home. She'd answer when spoken to but seemed to have lost her natural tendency to chatter. The vise on Harm's heart was clamping down harder and harder.

Harm had put Chris to bed and read her a story like he'd done every night he was with her, but this time she asked if Grandpa could come too.

Mac and the Stevens' indulged in idle conversation and waited anxiously for Ray and Harm to come downstairs.

"Okay, who wants to tell me what happened?" Ray asked as soon as he and Harm reached the living room.

"I tried to tell her I'm her father."

"Oh." Ray sat heavily in the nearest chair. "And that's how she reacted?"

"Actually," Mac spoke up, "I'm not sure she really understood that Harm 'is' her father. I think she realizes he wants to be her father, but what I think happened is she interpreted Harm wanting to be her father to mean you're going to heaven like her mom and grandma. She's scared you're going to die."

"Why would she think that?" Ray didn't understand what Harm being her father had to do with his dying.

"I think it's because she's been told when you and her grandmother aren't around anymore, I would take care of her. Somehow she thinks if I want to take care of her it's because you aren't going to be around." Harm tried to explain as best he could considering he honestly had no idea how a five year old's thought process worked.

All the color drained from Ray's face in a moment. "I think I need some water," he said to no one in particular.

"I'll get you a glass." Shelly sprang up.

"Let me help you. I'm not feeling so good myself," Mac offered.

"Me neither. Would you mind bringing a glass for me too?" Harm added before sitting down on the hearth.

"Never mind water, I need a real drink!" Fred Stevens stood up. "Ray, want a beer?"

"No, thank you." Ray let out a deep sigh.

"You, Commander?"

"I'll stick to water." Harm didn't think it would be fair to Mac to drink under the circumstances. It was one thing to have a beer at McMurphy's. It was an entirely different story to 'need' a drink.

Without actually asking, Fred turned to Mac.

"No, water will be fine for me too." Mac stepped around the coffee table and followed Shelly into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Ray." Harm had no idea what else to say, and certainly not what to do.

"You have nothing to apologize for. None of us had any ideas on how to deal with this. If I'd have been more of a man and insisted on what I knew was right, Chris would have known all along you were her father." Ray leaned back rubbing his temple. "I guess I'll just have to find a way to convince her I'm not going to die." And pray it's true, he thought.

"We talked about doing a sleepover next Saturday so she could sleep in her new bed." Harm looked up at the sound of ice clinking in glasses.

"She liked it?" A small smile teased at Ray's lips.

"Yeah, she really did." Harm stood up and accepted a glass of water from Mac. "In light of this evening, maybe it would be a good idea if both of you came over to spend the night."

"Are you sure?" Ray took a sip of the water Shelly had given him.

"Yes, maybe if we talk about the two of you visiting on Saturday it will help reassure her that you're not going anywhere, that she doesn't have to choose between you and me. She can still have us both, even if I am her father."

"Makes sense," Shelly nodded, taking a seat by her husband.

"I think it's time I had a little talk with her, too. I should have done this a long time ago." Ray took a long sip of his drink. "I think I'll have that beer now."

No one had very much more to say. With little fuss, Harm and Mac called it a night and said their goodbyes.

"Are you coming to my place?" Harm asked as he turned the key in the ignition.

"Actually, this whole day has me not feeling so hot. I think I'd like to crawl into my own bed." Mac leaned back against the headrest.

"Alone?" Harm's voice sounded as lost as Chris' a few hours ago.

"Huh?" Mac turned to look at Harm.

"Did you want me to leave you alone?" Harm was beginning to think that viselike grip on his heart wasn't going to ease up anytime soon.

"No. I didn't mean that. I just meant I wanted to be in my own bed." Mac leaned back again, hoping Harm understood.

"I've been so preoccupied with Chris, and the house, and my mother, that there are a few things we haven't really discussed that I think I may have, well, taken for granted." Harm caught a glimpse of Mac out of the corner of his eye. She did look awfully tired. Today had taken a toll on everyone.

"Like what?" Mac let her eyes fall closed to rest a minute.

"Well... I ... I thought my bed was yours." Harm stole another glance her way just as she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"It is, sort of."

"Sort of?" That vise was tightening again.

"It's just my room is my room and your room is your room. Even though they're both perfect so long as I have you with me, your room is still yours." Mac wasn't sure if she was explaining that very well.

"Mac, have you given any thought to 'our' room in the new house?" Harm wished he didn't have to keep his eyes on the road.

"No, I guess not." Mac sat up. This had all the earmarks of turning into a more serious discussion.

"What about a wedding date?"

"Have you?" Mac countered.

"I asked first."

"Doesn't matter. Have you given any thought to a wedding date?" Mac stared at him pointedly.

"No, I guess not. Like I said, I just assumed."

"Assumed what?"

"I don't know, that we would be doing this together."

"We are." This conversation was not helping Mac's headache.

"But you want you're own bed?"

"If it's that big a deal, we'll go to your place," Mac snapped unexpectedly.

"That's not my point and you know it. Are you planning on moving into the house with me?"

"You never asked."

Harm's eyes opened wide. "Excuse me, but I'm the one who wanted to get married the same day I asked you to marry me. I'm the one who wanted a house big enough for the three of us. How could you not know I want us to move in together?"

He was right, but she wasn't in the mood to be gracious. "I'm not a mind reader."

"Maybe you're right. It's probably a good idea to let you rest at your place, and we can figure this out further when we're all feeling better." Harm knew better than to say anything more.

"Fine." All Mac wanted was to be left in peace to get some much needed sleep.

**Chapter 27**

By the time he'd driven a little further, Harm was wracked with worry. What had just happened? He didn't mean to start trouble. Why couldn't he leave well enough alone? So she wanted the familiarity of her own apartment when she didn't feel good. What was so awful about that? Pulling into a space near the front of her building, Harm turned to face Mac.

"Mac, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made such a fuss. " It took him a few minutes to register that Mac hadn't heard a thing he said. She was sound asleep. "Mac, honey." Harm lightly tapped her arm.

"Hm?"

"We're home." A knot began twisting in his stomach in conjunction with the vise tightening the grip on his heart. "Are you okay?"

Blinking her eyes a few times to clear the sleepy fog. "Yeah, I told you I was tired. Today wasn't exactly what I would call a cakewalk." Letting out a big yawn, Mac reached for the door handle.

"Let me." Harm patted her arm lightly before climbing out of the car and going around to get her door.

"I could have done that."

"I know, but I wanted to." Harm extended his hand to her. "I'm sorry I didn't understand about wanting to be in your own bed."

Mac unlocked the lobby door, and hesitated against it as Harm stepped inside. "I didn't mean for it to be a big deal. I'm just tired. It's been a long, stressful day."

"I know that now." He followed her quietly to her apartment door, and watched her fumble with the key in the lock. Under any other circumstance, he would have offered to open the door for her, but tonight, he was too afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

"I'm going to make some tea. Would you like a cup?" Mac dropped her keys by the door and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Sure." Harm followed closely behind her, thankful she hadn't sent him home yet.

While Mac filled the tea kettle, Harm pulled out two mugs, and was reaching for the tea when his hand brushed up against Mac's.

"I really am sorry," he whispered. His fingers softly brushing against her.

"I know." She set the kettle down in the sink. "Me too."

Before Harm could say a word, Mac had wrapped her arms around his waist and was crying quietly against his shoulder. Wanting desperately to make everything right for everyone, Harm's broad hands gently soothed her delicate back.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair.

"Don't go," she mumbled into his shirt.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Softly, he kissed the top of her head. "Why don't you get ready for bed, and I'll bring you your cup of tea?"

Sniffling as she stepped back, "That sounds nice. Thank you." Smoothing his now damp shirt with her hands, she glanced up with a half-hearted smile before turning around to leave.

By the time he brought the two cups of tea into the bedroom, Mac was snuggled into bed and dozing with the TV on.

"Here you go." He set the mug by her bedside before going to brush his teeth. One of the reasons he was caught so off guard by the 'yours verses mine' conversation was that each of them had their own set of toiletries at the other's apartment, a few changes of clothes, and even their own drawers. Either way, he wasn't going to let it bother him anymore, at least not tonight.

"I was hoping you'd want me to move in with you right away." Mac blew into the hot mug. It made perfect sense that he would since she'd contributed to the down payment.

"I do." Harm wasn't sure how much he should say.

"I...I wasn't sure." Mac took a short sip. She was using the drink as a mental distraction, avoiding the need to look Harm in the eye. In the mood she was in, she simply wasn't taking anything for granted. For all she had known, her presence wasn't expected until after the wedding.

"I told you I wanted it all, Mac. I meant it. We can donate my bedroom furniture to good will, and set yours up in the master bedroom, right after we go to city hall and get married." Harm scooted closer to her, took her cup and set it on the nightstand, then pulled her into his arms. "We can start tomorrow."

"You shouldn't have to give up your bedroom, and your mom is flying home tomorrow. You know she'd kill us both if she didn't get to see the wedding, and tomorrow is Sunday, we can't get a..."

"License on Sunday," Harm cut her off.

"Right," Mac chuckled for the first time since the party earlier that day.

"I'll agree to wait till my mother can attend to get married, if you'll agree to pick a date."

"Fair enough, but what if I agree to pick a date after we're settled in the house and know what's going on with Chris."

"That IS what we've been waiting for isn't it?" Harm squeezed Mac's shoulder tightly against him for just an instant as if drawing much needed strength from her. Somehow today he had accidentally managed to upset both the women in his life.

"This will all work out. Don't worry." Mac resisted the urge to start singing, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy."

"What about the bedrooms? Chris got a new room. Maybe we should do the same. There are lots of bedrooms upstairs. We can put each of our furniture in a bedroom and get something totally new for our room." Harm tucked his chin into his chest and tried to peek at her reaction.

"Excellent idea, counselor. We could even look at a few places tomorrow before we have to take your mother and Frank to the airport." Contented with how things were working out, Mac let her eyes fall shut.

"Anyplace you want," Harm smiled.

"Mm,"

"Night Mac." Harm's smile spread a little wider. Not hearing a response, he squinted one eye trying to get a better look. Once again his marine had fallen asleep. 'His' marine. He never thought he'd live to see the day they would actually work everything out. Carefully shifting down, trying not to disturb her, Harm decided to leave the lights on. He didn't want to let go of her for even a few short seconds to reach the lamp. He never wanted to let go of her again.

The Burnett's flight didn't leave until late Sunday night. When Harm called Marjorie to ask about any inconvenience in changing the closing date, she mentioned having a few things she still wanted to do at the house that afternoon. It was quickly decided they could meet at the house to initial any changes in the contract. Spending some time with Contessa and the new slide would be good for Chris. It would also be an easy way for Trish and Frank to say their goodbyes, so the entire Rabb clan, including Mac and Ray, spent the afternoon on the back porch sipping hot chocolate and watching Chris and Contessa run and play in the warm autumn sun.

Chris hadn't said anything about yesterday, and even though she seemed less upset, she still wasn't her exuberant chatty self.

Marjorie had been washing the cabinets inside and out, despite Harm's insistence it wasn't necessary, when he decided to ask her for advice on Chris. Before long she was sitting on the back porch with all the grandparents. The startled expression on her face had mellowed to parental concern, and now she seemed obviously pensive.

"Well, that is a somewhat complicated problem, isn't it? I know I raised four kids, but even I don't have an answer for you. I can tell you it's going to take more than just words to convince her your not going to die." Marjorie looked at Ray.

"If it were me, I'd make sure you did as much with her as possible from your old routine. Routine is comforting for kids. Perhaps work towards doing more things with the four of you for a while until she's secure again in the feeling that Harm being her father has nothing to do with your dying."

"I was thinking the same thing." Ray glanced over at Harm, wondering if he agreed, and was thankful to see Harm nodding his head.

"As a matter of fact, Mac and I were talking about something when we were out shopping earlier. Now is as good a time as any to run it by you." Looking at Ray, he continued, "As you know the basement and attic are both finished. The attic is going to make a great teenage rumpus area when Chris is older, but we don't really need the basement. It has it's own door into the back yard, there's a full bathroom, the living area could easily be separated to create a bedroom, and it wouldn't take much to convert the laundry room into a small kitchen. It wouldn't be the same as your house in Florida, but it would give you privacy, and then we could easily share Chris without putting any stress on her."

Trish glanced up at her husband and then back at her son. She was so proud of the man he'd become. He was going to be a good father.

Ray on the other hand, stared blankly at Harm. His face was completely unreadable.

**Chapter 28**

"You want me to move in with you?" Ray's face remained expressionless, despite the incredulity in his voice.

"Not exactly 'with' us. It would be like having your own apartment." Harm had no idea what the man was thinking. Almost nervously, he reached over for Mac's hand. At this moment, he realized he needed her comforting touch as much as he needed the air he breathed. Fleetingly the thought crossed his mind, how had he made it through difficult situations the last forty years without her?

"But in the same house where I could see Chris anytime I wanted?" Ray's face was starting to soften. "Where I could pick her up after school, take her to the park, watch her play in the yard?"

"That's the idea," Harm smiled.

"I...I don't know what to say." Ray had been thrilled at the growing relationship between Chris and Harm and yet chided himself at the same time for resenting how quickly it had grown. He had been dreading the day he would become an occasional weekend Grandpa, feeling guilty at the small pleasure he felt when Chris wanted him last night after everything. Now, the man who he and his wife had kept far away for so long was offering to let him remain a part of his only granddaughter's every day life. "I think I need to think about this." The words barely came out. He needed all his strength to stop the tears that threatened to flow.

"Of course. Take as much time as you like," Harm answered. Mac nodded her assent.

Harm introduced his mother to the fine cuisine of Chuck E Cheese's before taking her to the airport. He had to admit, it gave him an enormous chuckle to watch his mother delight in food she would normally never have touched with a ten foot pole if it were not for one pint sized little girl.

Ray used the time to thoughtfully consider what Harm had offered while watching this newly formed family interact. By the time they made it back to his sister-in-law's, Chris was nearly exhausted. Without any need for coaxing from her grandfather, she went directly from kissing her aunt and uncle hello, to her room upstairs.

Briefly, Ray filled Shelly and Fred in on the new development, and then hurried upstairs to talk to Chris.

"How ya doing, Buttercup?"

"Fine," she giggled. She loved it when her Grandpa called her Buttercup. It made her feel pretty.

"I want to talk to you about something." Acknowledging her nod, he continued. "You know the Colonel and Commander both love you very much?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you know why he wants to be your Daddy?"

Nodding her head yes, "Because he was Mommy's special friend."

"That's right. Only he didn't know that until you told him."

"He didn't?" Her eyebrows curled into a human question mark.

"No, your mommy didn't tell him how special he was. Your Grandma and I knew, but we never told him."

Chris watched her grandfather carefully, her expression showing a wisdom beyond her years.

This was harder than he had expected. Ray couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for Harm to try and tell her. "He wants to take care of you now."

"I know."

"He also wants me to help."

"He does?" A hint of the sparkle that had been missing from her eyes the last two days reappeared.

"Yes, honey. Do you know why Grandma went to be with Mommy?"

"Her heart was broken."

Ray almost gasped at the uncanny choice of words. In some ways it wasn't just the aneurysm that killed her. His wife's heart was indeed broken the day Jordan was murdered. The only thing keeping it from completely crumbling was this precious little girl.

"That's right. But you know what?"

"What?"

"My heart works just fine. Feel." Ray placed her small hand on his chest letting the beat thump against her. "We didn't come to be with the Commander because Grandma is gone."

"We didn't?" She interrupted, her hand still resting on his beating heart.

"No. We came because he was Mommy's special friend, and we wanted you to have a Daddy."

"But I want to stay with you." That hint of a sparkle had faded again.

"Well, if the Commander is your Dad, and the Colonel becomes your Mom, and I'm still your Grandpa, then that would make us all one big family. Lots of times big families live in big houses."

Before he could even finish his sentence, the sparkle in her eyes was shining brightly.

"Are we all going to live in the big house? Contessa too?"

Ray couldn't help chuckling at the last part. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or concerned to be on the same level of importance as a German Shepherd.

"Well, Contessa belongs to the Fields. I know they would miss her terribly, but I bet we can talk your Dad into getting a dog some day soon." Ray waited to see how she would react to calling Harm her Dad instead of Commander before continuing. "Would you like to go live in the new house if I had the big room downstairs?"

"And I could still have my pretty room?"

"Yes, you would." Watching her face light up, for the first time in two days, Ray had a feeling everything was going to be alright.

Rabb house Next Saturday afternoon 

"I really think it will be better if I'm downstairs from the beginning. Staying in the guest room until all the changes are made and my furniture arrives would be ridiculous. The way the downstairs is laid out in an L shape, all I need is one wall with a door on the left to close off the bedroom area. It won't take them but a couple of days to put up the wall and paint it, and it shouldn't make much of a mess either so I can sleep downstairs. The kitchen will take a bit longer, but I'm sure I can get my landlords to let me borrow theirs. I have connections," Ray laughed. When he decided to tell Harm about Chris, he never dreamed things would turn out like this. Jordan was right. He was a special man.

Ever since Ray agreed to move into the house with them they'd been debating back and forth if he should try and live downstairs during remodeling or stay upstairs until it was finished. Harm finally gave in and agreed to have Ray stay downstairs from the start. Since they didn't want to take Chris out of school to go to Florida with her grandfather, and thought it was too soon after her scare for him to leave without her, Ray let the realtor arrange to have all his belongings packed and shipped to Maryland for storage. Then he could take his time sorting and decide what should be sold and what he would keep. Fortunately, they had downsized considerably when they first retired to Florida.

Chris played outside while the movers brought in most of their belongings. Harriet and Bud came by with the children, hoping AJ and Jimmy would help keep Chris entertained.

"It sounds like everything is working out for the best." Harriet sat down in the nearest chair.

"How do you manage to do so much with twins?" Mac opened a box and began unwrapping dishes, waving Harriet off when she attempted to get up to help.

"If you don't mind, I do need to rest a few minutes. It's not that bad really. You learn to do what you have to. It was actually harder when I was pregnant. It was so frustrating not always having the energy when you want it." Harriet grinned at the two babies sleeping peacefully in the carriers. "But it's always worth it."

Mac busied herself filling the cabinets, hoping to ignore, or at least hide the twinge of jealousy deep in her heart. When she felt Harm's gaze behind her, she was delighted for the distraction.

"I think it's time we ordered some food to feed this mob." Harm inched up behind her and kissed the top of her head.

"Works for me. I've already got the Pizza Hut phone number on the fridge," Mac chuckled at the fallen expression on Harm's face. "Don't worry, we won't use it 'too' often." She just loved how that man could make her entire world feel right with a grin.

**Chapter 29**

Harm was standing in the kitchen reluctantly calling Pizza Hut for their evening meal when AJ, Jimmy and Chris came running inside.

"I'm hungry mom," AJ announced, out of breath from playing. Jimmy followed his brother in tow, but had little to say other than an agreeing nod of the head.

Ray arrived in the kitchen just in time to admire the parade of children displayed before him. He was looking forward to being part of a bustling family again.

Watching his daughter eagerly making her way over to where he was standing, Harm had prepared himself for the inevitable onslaught of questions regarding refueling. He wondered sometimes if genetic traits could be acquired through osmosis. It was his only explanation for why so many things she did reminded him of Mac.

"Daddy, when are we getting a dog?" Chris stared up at Harm as if she hadn't just rocked his world.

A little less startled than the rest of the adults in the room, Ray noticed Harm gaping open mouthed at Chris, the receiver returned to its cradle in almost slow motion. Mac fumbled obviously with the plates in her hand, barely salvaging them from crashing to the floor. Harriet appeared to be the only other adult taking the entire incident in stride. She sat casually with a large Cheshire grin on her face.

"I'm afraid that's my fault, Harm. I forgot to tell you that little detail of our conversation the other night." Walking up to Chris, Ray nudged her on the shoulder. "You and the boys go get washed up. The pizza will be here soon."

"But, you said we'd all be a family and that Mommy and Daddy would get us a dog like Contessa." Chris was unaware of the impact of her latest commentary on both Harm and Mac. Bud also stood off to the side, obviously confused by the current conversation.

"I said 'someday.' Maybe you can discuss it with your mom and dad after the company goes home." Ray wondered if Harm or Mac were going to find their voices anytime soon.

Bending down to her height and gently rubbing his hand across the side of her face, Harm spoke softly, "Your Grandpa's right. We'll talk about this after everyone goes home." Watching Chris run out of the room with the boys as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, Harm turned to see the single tear trickle down Mac's cheek. In a few long strides he was across the room and holding Mac in his arms.

"We're really going to be a family," she whispered into his shoulder.

"Looks like it," he assured her, "looks like it."

Once company left Saturday evening, all Chris could talk about was a dog like Contessa. Harm did his best to explain how all dogs were different, but his heart, and subsequently his brain, would stop every time she started her sentence with- 'but Daddy'.

Ray had said his goodnights early establishing a pattern of independence from the nuclear family routine from the beginning. When Harm and Mac finally tucked the exhausted little girl in for the night, they could feel the energy charging between their clasped hands when Chris said, "night Mommy, Daddy," then closed her eyes as though they had been doing it this way her entire life.

Exhausted and drained, the two shell-shocked adults climbed into their new bed for the first time.

"I knew Chris was feeling better since her talk with Ray, but I never expected her to just start calling us mom and dad like that." Harm pulled Mac into his arms and mindlessly began doodling on her arm as he stared ahead at nothing in particular, occasionally stealing a glance in her direction.

"You don't mind that she calls me Mom, do you?"

"Of course not! It's what I had hoped for, that we could be a family. That she would be that child we promised each other so long ago." Harm went to kiss the top of Mac's head just as she looked up to say something, his lips landed somewhere around the bridge of her nose sending the two into a fit of giggles. Within seconds their jumbled laughter gave way to a heated gaze, and soon they had fallen into a searing kiss filled with all the emotions and passions of the day.

Sunday was oddly ordinary. Everyone continued unpacking and falling into what would soon be a normal routine. Harm noticed Mac seemed a bit edgy but chalked it up to the weight of the reality of the whole 'Mom and Dad' thing. He tried to talk to her about it from time to time, but she brushed it off as nothing, and he wasn't prepared to cause any unexpected trouble by pushing.

By Monday morning, Harm knew something was up. Mac woke up even more jumpy than she'd been the day before. She'd gone out for a quick run to the grocery store late Sunday to stock the shelves and when Harm came up behind her to kiss her hello, she almost jumped out of her skin. He was simply going to have to find a way to make her talk, and soon, or he wouldn't get a single thing accomplished all day worrying about her.

Sitting at the island counter, watching her pour another cup of coffee, Harm ventured out into new waters. "Mac, I can tell something's bothering you. Won't you please tell me? Maybe I can help." Harm set his cup on the counter.

"I'm... fine. It's just that this is all so new, and now we have to get a dog, too." Mac realized that made no sense, but the words were out of her mouth before her brain had a chance to edit.

"You're upset about getting a dog? We can explain to Chris that we need to wait, to settle in first." Harm walked over to where Mac was standing. This had nothing to do with a dog, and he knew it. Mac had taken Jingo on without hesitation. The thought of getting a dog wouldn't have her this...jittery.

"It's just a lot to get used to." Mac stirred a teaspoon of sugar into her coffee.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he wasn't surprised when she tensed nervously before slowly relaxing against him. "What is it really? Tell me." He kissed the back of her neck lightly, not in an attempt to arouse, but to reassure.

Closing her eyes tightly, and taking a deep breath, she reached into her bathrobe pocket and slipped something into Harm's hand, then pulled away to turn and see his face.

Harm stared for a long moment at the long white stick, then up at Mac, his face a blank slate, expressionless. After what seemed like an eternity to Mac, she noticed one eyebrow climb to his hairline as the corner of his mouth twitched awkwardly upward.

"Is this what I think it is?" By now the other corner of his mouth was tugging upward as well.

Mac nodded her head. "Something Harriet said Saturday about always being too tired when you're pregnant got me thinking. The doctor seemed so sure that I would never conceive that I never gave birth control a second thought. Not that I would have wanted to," she added rather smartly. "There's just so much going on now, so much to adjust to, and what will Chris think?"

"The same thing I do. You're going to be a great mom and I love you, Sarah MacKenzie. Marry me? Now, today, and it's not Sunday. We can get a license and be married before Chris gets home from school." Harm's eyes were twinkling brighter than the North Star. His lips were gently kissing her forehead, coaxing her into the words he wanted to hear. Suddenly everything he'd ever wanted was within his reach, a life, a home with Mac, and now a child with her looks or brains.

"Harm, we can't get married today anymore than we could get married the last time you said that. City hall may be open, but your mother would still kill us!" Mac tried hard not to laugh at him.

"Okay, then marry me Saturday. It only takes five hours to fly from San Diego, and for this, my mom would strap on wings herself." Harm rested his forehead against hers, resisting the temptation to kiss her silly.

"Harm, that's only five days away." Mac let her fingers reach up and toy with the lapels of his bathrobe.

"Then next Saturday. We can scrounge up an honor guard, get married at the chapel, and have a small dinner party anywhere that will take us. If our friends want to fly in they can, and if they can't, we'll send pictures." Harm stole a short kiss. "Say yes, Mac. I don't want to wait any longer. Say yes."

Mac smiled broadly. There was no way she could resist those puppy dog eyes, and she did so want to be his wife.

"Okay, next Saturday it is." She closed the gap between them capturing his lips with hers, resisting the urge to carry this to a level they couldn't possibly consider and still be on time for work.


	4. Chapter 30 epilogue

**Chapter 30: Epilogue**

"All right Mom, this baby wants out. When I say push, you push..."

Dr. Althea Davis had enjoyed working with this couple. Every so often she would come across one couple who had something special besides the initial glow of impending first time parenthood. This couple had it. Occasionally she would catch the handsome naval officer looking at his wife with such loving adoration it would send shivers up her spine. Not many patients could do that. Listening to their conversation, she couldn't help but smile inwardly.

"I'm tired. Why don't I go join everyone outside and you take over here for a while?"

Dr. Davis loved how this woman teased her husband through all her months of discomforts and discoveries. Never once did she make this anything but an interesting adventure.

"Oh, I'm sure that would get me on the Tonight Show. Come on honey. We're almost there."

The soon to be father quickly patted away the sweat of his wife's labor before squeezing her hand as the next contraction hit. Althea recognized that look. He was wishing he could somehow take on the pain for his beautiful wife.

In the waiting area, Bud watched his wife pacing nervously.

"Boy, it really is different when you're the one waiting instead of the one inside giving birth. I'm not sure which is harder." Harriet chuckled facetiously, her eyes gazing down the hall to the birthing room.

"All right, I promise. One last push and then we're done," Althea encouraged the two exhausted people. Lots of moms-to-be gave their husbands nothing but trouble. This gal was a trooper through and through. The worst she'd done was threaten to take a break and have him take over. Dr. Davis could see the adoration she had often seen in his eyes was a two way street. This was going to be one happy family.

"Promises, promises."

The tired voice that still found the strength to crack a joke through clenched teeth made Althea laugh out loud. "Yeah, I should have been a politician," she responded.

"Here we go, Dad."

Glancing up for just an instant, Althea watched the woman's loving look as she addressed her husband, then with her hand squeezing his in what looked like a death-like grip, she drew her last bit of strength and gave one more push. A loud wail filled the room.

"Here you go, folks. One bouncing baby girl." Althea gladly handed the tiny bundle over for the father to cut the cord. This was always her favorite part. "Has she got a name?"

"Sarah Elizabeth," the two voices echoed proudly.

"Hey pretty lady. You've got a bunch of anxious people waiting to meet you."

Listening to the new dad talk to his daughter, Althea marveled at how such a tiny thing could reduce grown men to tears. Why not? It did her too.

"Well, they're going to have to wait a few more minutes. As soon as we get her and her mom cleaned up and back to their room, the entourage can come in." A nearby nurse allowed the family a moment longer before she took the baby away.

"I'm not sure Grandma and Grandpa are going to like that. I'm surprised they haven't marched in demanding to see for themselves that all is well."

Althea nodded knowingly at the couple. This wouldn't be the first or last delivery she was involved in with strongwilled grandparents.

"There are a few places in this world where you're mother isn't allowed to take over. Sometimes even marine generals don't get their way."

Yes, Althea had only faced one inquisition from the concerned general.

"What about retired Navy lieutenants?"

Now, that woman scared her. Every time she phoned, Althea had this overwhelming feeling she was being sold a sugar field in the proverbial Florida swamplands.

"Okay, we can discuss the family tree another time folks." The nurse interrupted, giggling at the banter she'd become so used to.

A few minutes later, AJ Roberts made his way to the waiting area and gave his mother a big hug. "It's a girl. Sarah Elizabeth."

"Congratulations, son." Bud reached around to hug his son.

"Chris is doing great. I can honestly say I've never seen her look more beautiful. Sarah looks just like her." AJ turned to his father-in-law.

Harmon Rabb shook AJ's hand and turned to hug his wife. "How bout that, Grandma?" he grinned, lightly kissing the top of her head.

"She's asking for you," AJ informed his mother-in-law. "They were just moving her into her own room, 207."

"On my way," Mac grinned, kissing her husband on the cheek.

"When do we get to meet the first of the next generation? I've got a lot of stories to tell her about her parents. I'll need to start early," Matthew Rabb teased his brother in law.

"Not before me." Kate Rabb winked at her big brother.

"Honey, please keep in mind discretion is the better part of valor." Jessica Rabb reminded her husband, gently patting her sixth month pregnant belly. "I'm not sure we want Chris and AJ to be left alone with junior here." Jessica Rabb had a smile that would melt ice. It had certainly melted Matt's heart the first time he saw her in his ninth grade math class. They were classic high school sweethearts. Even though Matt went to college at Columbia and Jess had gone to school at Georgetown, the relationship never faded. One year after graduation, they were married, and for their first anniversary Jess presented Matt with a pretty white stick, with a bright blue plus sign, tied in a large red bow.

"Yeah, well. Being young and single I don't have that problem," Kate grinned impishly.

AJ shook his head. The Rabbs and the Roberts' had pretty much grown up together. Living within bike riding distance from each other's homes, and attending the same schools, he and Chris had been best friends for years. One day, not long after she graduated from the University of Virginia, they'd been hanging out at her parent's place, watching old movies and discussing the woes of dating. Before they knew how it happened, they found themselves going on a real date with each other. Six months later they had announced their engagement. Almost six years after the wedding, both their parents had given up on the idea that they would ever be grandparents. Chris and AJ had been busy getting their careers on line and just enjoying each other's company. They wanted AJ to get his overseas tours done before they considered having children. Then, right around Chris' 29th birthday, it suddenly dawned on her that she had a biological clock. Three months later they announced their impending parenthood.

Mac tapped lightly on the door as she walked into the room.

"How ya doin', Mama?" Mac couldn't help the huge grin that spread across her face.

"Tired, but fine," Chris grinned back.

At that moment the nurse came walking back into the room with a little pink bundle.

"There's our little princess," Mac cooed as the nurse walked past to place Sarah in her mother's arms.

"Hey, I thought I was the princess of the family?"

"Sorry, dear. You've been dethroned," Mac shot back without skipping a beat.

"Thanks, Mom," Chris said somewhat seriously.

"What did I do?" Sitting down on the bed beside Chris, Mac hadn't taken her eyes off the new baby.

"For not letting me hit the snooze button on my biological clock."

"Hey, I'm glad you could learn from my lessons." Mac reached over and ran her finger along the little stretch of Sarah's arm that was peeking out from under the blanket.

"Here. You take her." Chris passed the baby over to Mac. "I hope I can be as good a mother as you are."

"You'll be better." Mac kissed Chris on the temple, and then leaned back, slowly rocking in place with the baby.

"I hope so." Chris kept her eyes on the tiny person in her mother's arms. Somehow it all still seemed so unreal.

"You ready to face the rest of the clan?" Mac asked without looking up.

"I'd like to see Dad first." Her mom's words suddenly registering, "Clan? Exactly who is here?"

"Well, Bud and Harriet of course. Matt and Jess are here with Katie. Jimmy cut some meeting short in order to catch the first plane home. Nicole is going to pick him up at the airport, so they'll be here soon. Mike is probably already here. He called to say he was on his way just before AJ came out to get us. Oh, wait, I forgot. Mike was going to stop and pick up whoever his latest girlfriend is. I think that's one of his tests of whether or not they're a keeper. Since Nickie brought Steve to a family gathering on a first date and he married her anyway, I think Mike assumes the first girl we don't scare off will be 'the' one."

The two women giggled happily unaware of the tall form watching from the doorway. Softly, Harm made his way over to the bed. Standing slightly behind his wife, he dropped his hands on either shoulder, and bent over to look at the precious bundle. "She looks just like you," he whispered to Chris.

"You think so?" Chris beamed.

Harm had a hard time holding back the tears in his eyes. Squeezing his wife's shoulder he swallowed hard. "May I hold her?"

"Daaaaddd. You don't have to ask." Chris watched her father as her mom handed Sarah over.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you were born." Harm was looking at the baby, but he was talking to Chris.

"You made up for it," she smiled. It had taken her a long time before she finally realized Harm really was her father, and it took a few more years to understand the dynamics between him and her real mom, but there was never a single day that she regretted anything about the way she grew up. Harm was the best dad a girl could ask for, even if he did interrogate every boy she ever dated, and remind them how accurate a 9millimeter Navy issue was. Mac was a great mom, too. Few people ever realized she was really Chris' step mom. Most of Chris' life, she even forgot Mac was only a step mom. And how many people get to have the added blessing of a grandpa for almost fifteen years of their lives, and living right downstairs too.

Ray had been an incredible blessing to the Rabb household. He had nurtured and cherished each of the Rabb children as though they were his grandchildren as well. It had never occurred to them to call him anything but Grandpa. In many ways, he'd become a surrogate dad for Mac, somehow balancing the scales whenever the Burnetts came to town, and they did, often.

After a few minutes, Sarah began squirming in her Grandfather's arms. "I remember this. I'm afraid, little one, only Mommy can help." Passing the baby over to his daughter to be fed. "I'll go tell AJ it will be just a few minutes before the party can begin."

"No, Dad. Stay. He'll be back in a second." No sooner were the words out of her mouth, than as if on cue, Lt. Commander AJ Roberts of the Judge Advocate General Corps came tip toeing quietly into the room.

"I told everyone I'd come check on you. I thought you might want some quiet time alone." Walking around to the other side of the bed, AJ couldn't help grinning madly at his beautiful wife and baby.

"Thanks, hon. This is absolutely perfect."

And she was absolutely right. The Rabb family had come a long way, and there wasn't a single moment of any of it that they wouldn't do over again, exactly the same way.

The end.


End file.
